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  1. Today
  2. OCCupational Therapy The Halfling Hopeful Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? You fat bastard! You fat bastard! You ate all the pies! I hear it every game, because blood bowl fans are unique and original individuals. Yeah, I've got more rolls than a bakery. It's necessary cushioning. Because my sin of gluttony isn't about food, it's about punishment. Do the maths. There's only two treemen, so if there's no merc to take the third spot on the line of scrimmage, a halfling has to. I'm that halfling. Really, my chant should go: Who took all the hits? Who took all the hits? You poor bastard! You poor bastard! You took all the hits! It's not so bad early in your career. The opponents aren't as big, as skillful, as deadly. But it can get pretty bad, pretty quick. Sure, when you're up against a good team there are mercs a-plenty, but if the first half goes badly and/or your team scores, duty may still come calling. You know, there's a lot to be said for not scoring against killer teams. Each TD means another turn on the line of scrimmage, and who needs that? Just play for time, stall it out, settle for a 0-0 draw and enjoy the post-match feast! Which brings us back to the other type of gluttony. To be fair, I have eaten a lot of pies. Mmm... pies Signed The anonymous halfling hopeful
  3. Appreciate you taking a look! The majority of the KO rolls were 2-s if I recall. Haven't been making enough cash to replace the players sadly. Didn't have the inducements for 2 basic thralls and am not spending cash on inducements where poss. He was kind and didn't murder anything t16 when he could have before scoring the 3rd so that was nice. Got a tackle vamp again now. Despite only minimal spp we did get 3 lvls. Aiming for 2 vamps and a thrall with tackle if we ever get that far hah.
  4. Hate Brets, hate Dauntless. I never kick deep. go shallow and steal the ball. then he can't do all those safe BS passes while he murders your team. ...with awesome dice. He would have needed half his team to protect the ball if it were in danger; not many people for assists. God damn you need tackle. and the dice need Vaseline. that is a lot of armor break. Seven players out in six turns. not much you can do with that. long drives are not your friend. Turn 8 I might not have risked biting a thrall. A leader Thrall. It worked out though. for the thrall. The KO not coming back again hurts a lot. T9 I would have moved up a scoring threat so the whole team was not coming at you maybe? T11 and your last snack is now gone. you are doomed. Well, he knows the dice are on his side as ag3 is picking up in tackle zones, needless passing and then going for it with no rerolls. Leveling up a couple players is good on your part. this is lost. 77% lust. Pass 60%. Casualty and injury dice explain the game well. 16% pro! I do not like pro early. Block, Dodge and Tackle are far more useful. maybe if you use him to gaze a lot it is good but I would not take more yet I don't think your bench was deep enough for a dirty thrall. maybe you had exactly 70k but a second thrall or babe might have been worth spending money on. the only other advice I can give is to pressure the ball constantly. and maybe roll better. :)
  5. I genuinely challenge any of you to watch my current weeks match and provide any tips on what i should be doing. As far as I can see it , another complete dicefucking. I'm kinda tired of it.
  6. The people love you my lord! As i thought my limited free time / inspiration has slowly started to fade. However i shall try to keep this season somewhat recorded! We indeed faced lizards and game went as we thought i would go. They played another aggressive attack, we allmost managed to stop them from scoring. And as they scored relatively quickly on first half we managed to score equalizer on first half. We made ton of minor mistakes, but in the end we managed to scrape 2-1 victory. Ah, the little hero. Well, I may have a surprise for you. We started out strong as we attacked, but as we removed few of them we were bit too aggressive on fouling and as we weren't playing on our home stadium it meant we lacked free bribe. We played relatively well, with minor mistakes here and there. We made first touchdown and they made equalizer on second half. We almost managed to prevent that score, but once again our attempts were futile. We had quite plenty time to score equalizer however and as they failed something (which i can´t remember) we managed to do handing off and ran to touchdown. Another 2-1 victory for us and we took 2 heavy casualties. Promoter Tom 17/31 SPP (Dirty Player, Wrestle) Got Niggling Injury. Soon as we receive new dirty player he shall retire. Composer Jack 32/51 SPP (Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow) Received STR- from foul. We apoed it and later same game he received AV-. Poor fella, he retired after the game. So with some TV trimmed we faced vampires. These fools had quite rough start and we would make it even rougher. Game started with blitz against us and as our blocking dice weren´t working as indented we failed to down vampires near the ball. In the end they managed to pick the ball up and as dice weren't working they made defensive touchdown. This left some turns for us to make it 1-1, but things were looking grim for us. We made some positioning mistakes and only due doubleskulls from our opponent we managed to score. Without those doubleskulls we would have suffered surf with ball and who knows where it would have landed? Second half their bloodlusts started to fail and they removed their own players. Game was 1-1 and they were attacking. As they were losing players we knew we could pressure them to drop the ball, but it was hard fought. In the end we managed to get the ball and made few critical errors, but Nuffle were kind to us. We scored and sealed the game 2-1. So at the moment we are top of the leaderboard. Next we face dark elves who have similiar record from this season. At the moment my team hasn´t received any level ups, so our development has stopped for now. Also our fouls have been quite ineffective and referee has been too keen to watch when we stomp our opponents. Like on matchday 3 we fouled 4 times, rolled doubles 3 times and failed bribe. My predictions have been working quite well thus far! This is why i shall say i will try win my matchday 4 match and if i do i will try go for "Perfect Season" award. Also as i finally received new computer i shall try my luck on streaming. I have heard that "streamer dice" exists so i will use every advantage i get. My next match is scheduled on Monday 20.09. 18UTC and it might be first stream i make. Let´s hope i wont make many mistakes due that! Eat steel!
  7. Key moments - second half: 1.) Nobody woke up from his concussion so 9 nurgle players stood against 7 elves with only one important catcher. We attacked so it was crucial to score and to score as late as possible. 2.) They kicked the ball on our right side and we had an opportunity for a catch there (high kick). It was good, our dodge pestigor caught the ball. We knocked out an elf in our first round (however we needed a re-roll for that) so six remained on the field. 3.) The tree almost rooted again but was saved by a re-roll The "they screen we move" game had started. 4.) We fouled the tree and got a stun out of it. Better than nothing. 5.) They made their first cage dive, two red dice attack with the catcher. It failed. The beast hugged the catcher and we got away as far as we could from the tree. We lost a re-roll in the process, just one remained. 6.) The tree rooted and even failed the stand up (five moveable wood elf player was on the pitch) This way they wasted the blitrz and even their catcher stayed where he was (nice tentacles). 7.) Next turn we used our last re-roll to free one side of the cage. It was getting tense and interesting! However, we could not free all sides of the cage because we would had to risk a one dice block at the end. The important thing was we stunned an elf and 4 of their players (including the tree and the stunned one) was down. Next turn the tree stood up but was still rooted. They put an elf next to our carrier. Unfortunately our block player was on the other side. We had to trust in an 8/9 to free the ball. We managed to switch sides. 8.) They blitzed one of our pestigors and they re-rolled the skulls into a both down. This was a lucky one. Turnover for them at the start! 9.) The plan was to go next to the catcher with the beast. Ooops...really stupid We surrounded them as much as we could and even tried a dodge again which failed but did not matter that much. 10.) Their last resort was to put the usual catcher next to our carrier. They managed to accomplish that (1/2; 5/6 dodge). 11.) Without a re-roll we had to dodge or do a blockless hit. We chose the latter because we could arrange a three dice one. We missed the armor break on the catcher once again. On our 15th turn (they would have 2 more) it was clear we had to score so we did just that. 2 - 0 for the nurgles! 12.) The frenzy wardancer came back so they had two 9 MA pieces on the field, one with sidestep and sprint. I did not thought they would try two one-turner but that just what happened here. Nice try @Iltanir, nice try They managed to put the catcher in scoring range (with 3 extra steps) but the catch failed. Now they had one turn to score and even that was in danger. We hugged the catcher with the beast, blitzed the wardancer and stunned him even secured the ball as much as we could with one extra step. The score stayed at 2 - 0 for our side this time!
  8. Yesterday
  9. Matchday 4 against elven union. The crowd was crazy and screamed "elf off!" as soon as we stepped on the pitch. Nothing better than a crowds hate for elfs. After our glorious win against orcs last week we felt like nothing could stop us. Definitely not some puny elfs. We got the ball kicked to us and started by some famous ball fumbling by khemri. But we almost did one removal a turn for the first 4-5 turns. Nothing like elfs being carried off the pitch. After a while we also started to do some fouling. At the end of the half, we opted for a foul before the touchdown. As it should be, no gingerbread man crossing the streets here. In the second half the elfs started to foul back? And killed one of our players! St4, block, -ma and niggling. So wasnt really a loss, although it is always a bit sad when regen doesnt work (for some reason it popped up something with apo?). The elf was cursed with bad dice and we got a chance to hit the ball carrier and catched the ball. For a few turns we took turns getting knocked down and catching the ball. In the end, khemri was victorious in the duel. During this time we put a foot on the elf thrower and tried to give the gift of eternal rest, but the apo was evil and brought the thrower back to life. We scored again but then the elfs did some one turn magic. But in the end it was a 2-1 win for our beloved khemri team. Blitzer leveled sidestep. Catcher leveled +MA. Lineman leveled block.
  10. S22 - Division 4C - MD3 On our third match we encountered a wood elf team. They started with a loner player and we had 140k inducement money because we missed our block, sure hands pestigor. That was a bit hard considering their strip ball wardancer. The Garden of Even (Wood Elf): 1.) Strengths: They had 3 well developed player (the 2 wardancers and a catcher) and a forth block, dodge catcher. This meant 4 blodge players, one 9 MA, 5 AG tackle, frenzy wardancer, another tackle, strip ball, sidestep wardancer and a 9 MA, sprint, sidestep, guard catcher. 2.) Weakness: The other players were almost without skill. They could present a kick and dodge player but that's it. The plan was simple. They lacked substitutes (one loner player as I mentioned before) so we had to remove their 3 key players and some other. Key moments - first half: 1.) We induced a wizard and gave them the oppurtinity to attack. At the start of the match we could surprise them and move before the first round. Two of their essential players was on the line of scrimmage we hugged on with the beast whilst based the other with a wrestle rotter (in fact that basing was their starting decesion). 2.) They thought a lot what to do but in the end attacked our beast (and burned a re-roll because of the foul appearance). By the way, the tree unleashed its roots for the drive At the end they fouled the beast and did not have enough time to move the second wardancer. 3.) After surviving the foul we got an opportunity to stand up with the beast next to their three essential players. However we continued where we left off last time. Really stupid again... At the end we injured and elf and put up a decent defense formation. So 10 elf remained for the rest of the game and we had our second 4 SPP nurgle warrior! 4.) Another foul on the beast was inevitible but we survived it again. More importantly one wardancer stayed there and the other went deeper into our field. They could manage to knock down my wrestle player next to him but that was still enough for a blitz. 5.) The beast stood up! So one wardancer hopefully catched and we just had to deal with the other. The hit was clear. Unfortunately the armor break was followed by a stun however the foul worked. The MA 9, AG 5, frenzy wardancer was out for the drive. 9 elf players stayed on the field against 10 nurgle players (the referee sent off our nice fouler player ). 6.) They knocked down the beast and switched sides. But there was a price for it. They had to call their guard player for reaching a 2d block against the beast. Thus, he was left in close range combat. Unfortunately, they pulled off an 1/2, 2/3, 5/6 dodge play (okay, an auto re-roll was included at the start) which blocked our path to wrestle down the wardancer. This way we could not hurt their two remaining key players in the same turn. We knocked down their left catcher but the armor break was just not there. After rearranging our defense we fouled him but still could not break his armor. 7.) Next turn they tried to open a path for themselves with the remaining wardancer. He made the dodges but the foul appearance helped us out. They moved the ball backwards to safety and continued the attack on our nurgle warrior in the middle. The second hit knocked him out (9 versus 9 now) It was essential because without the hit the wardancer would had remained next to the warrior. 8.) At this point we had to accomplish some goals. - Hit the wardancer. - Foul the wardancer. - Get closer to the carrier. The problem was that without the warrior at our back we needed an assist from a rotter and not the dirty player one. It meant an extra step and we lost the re-roll for the turn. We attacked the dancer and failed to knock him down with our block nurgle warrior. We repositioned ourselves and sneaked forward with our dodge pestigor just to fail that dodge twice 9.) They moved to our right side and finished their turn (again with evil dodges) at the half-line. Dear readers, you can't check the picture but what is important there that they placed their 2 catchers and even the wardancer under one fireball range. It was time to call the heavy artillery. The result was astonishing. The wardancer and the carrier was knocked out and their third important player was knocked down. Seven of them stayed on the field. After a re-rolled dodge we picked up the ball and ran forward. 10.) They put their catcher next to our carrier and failed a re-rolled dodge for a turnover. The main problem we faced on our turn was that the catcher picked up sidestep in the past. So we needed to block his path and hit him or dodge out of his range. We just did not have enough well placed player to be obstacles. However, we managed to clear a path for our wrestle rotter and the 3 dice block worked, catcher was on the ground with him. 11.) They attacked our carrier with two red dice after two extra steps (one was re-rolled). Sometimes being an elf just sucks 12.) After another well timed really stupid from the beast we based their only player in scoring range and guarded their catcher as well. We did not want to score this turn because they had a remaining one turner on the field and another who was knocked out (but could come back after the touchdown). 13.) They last turn was simple. The catcher went next to our carrier and they planned a revenge on our wrestle rotter with niggling injury. I think that went well No more extra coffee for you in this "life"... 14.) With a re-roll in hand we tried to hit the carrier but failed to knock him down. After that we dodged away and scored. 1 - 0 for the nurgles!
  11. Last week
  12. It's the new season and we are in T1 for another run at trying to get to the Championship tier again In this first match we get @Khornight and his Norse.
  13. If you ever wanted to try out how it feels to play in Champs here is your chance! A copy of the team below as replacement would be ideal but we will also take something similar or a returning coach that should be in Champs. The place is for this season only (apart from a returning coach) and you can play a replacement team as well as your main team. If you are interested please contact @Breschdlengand @Borke.
  14. S22 - Division 4C - MD2 - Summary Second match of the season and it was a little bit disappointing, mostly because of the beast but was okay considering the injured players. Sorry @crowdog09for not talking too much during the game but I tend t think a lot even under my opponent's turn. Play analysis: - Key moments - first half between 3. and 4. Firstly, we will check the break through from the chaos dwarves. I would vote fot a safer cage for the first break through, so something like this: Instead of: In both cases my back line defender pestigor can push with two red dice but in the safer solution he is based by a dwarf that means a tackle skill which counters the dodge on the pestigor. I would write on the plus side as well that I can't move the beast next to the carrier. On the negative side I can put the basing on the sideline because that is carried out by a hobgoblin without guard and enables the two dice push for me on the dwarf next to the beast. However, it still puts the side pestigor in danger (standing up at the side of the pitch) and does not have that big advantage (moving the beast next to the carrier after the push). Probably with the safe solution I would had tried to blitz on the upper right side of the cage (from my viewpoint) with the lying pestigor. Conclusion: Risky break through which enabled the beast to act and cause trouble which in reality failed. - Key moments - first half 5. In this situation my concerns are not that straighforward or we could say that the solution is versatile and isn't that clear. You can see in the match log that my main problem was the push of the pestigor next to the carrier. So the first three steps are very good. If the dwarves decided to push out my side pestigor then this is the way. After that I think pushing upwards (4th, 5th and 7th steps if needed) can put the carrier in a more comfortable situation. The 7th hit is even carried out by the claw dwarf (I know it was an injury in real life as well but the probabilities differ). After the 7th step the dwarves still can hit my last standing pestigor at the half-line and have 2 free hobgoblins to move. (Side note: the pestigor arrow colors does not match the usual usage. It should be whitish because the real push happened towards the other way.) Conclusion: Risky defense that could put the carrier in danger. What went well: The casualty toll was okay (just one miss next game injury). What could be done better: Improve the re-roll usage a bit. Developement: - Finish with Blackcurrant (Nurgle Warrior) learned to block.
  15. OCCupational Therapy Have you ever felt like you are just born to do just one thing? It's like constantly you are reminded what "your" role in society is. As like "You have very long legs, you should play in kislev team" or "You like to pass the ball, so you should be an thrower!". That might be the case, but why can't folk let others do their own decision and form their own paths? Why can't Ogre be an dedicated ball carrier? Why Goblin couldn't be goon of Orc team? Why does having claws make you an killer? That is question you need to ask about yourself as most us have been guilty for that kind of thoughts. But after today your perspective might change. As today we have very special guest, who tells us how he feels about pressure that society have given him. He tried talk about it with his team, but they just laughed as it were joke. How can ones feelings be joke? It all began when i was just youngling. We were playing ball on our backyard when it happened. I hurt my beast friend. I had developed claws. After that day my life changed forever.. My dreams of becoming florist had been crushed. Crushed like my friends sternum. From that day i swore that i would never hurt anyone, but i was wrong. So wrong. None wants to hire beast man with claws to work or attleast on "normal" work. Should i starve or should i forsake my ideology? Should i join Blood Bowl team or should i live remainder of my short life in misery? I didn't have a choice then. I don't have choice now. As i joined my current team their coach told me i would get nice job as one of their ball retrievers. That wasn't optimal, but it brings food to the table, but soon as i participated in first match i learned the hard truth. My role weren't same as i was told. "If they have no players they can't carry the ball" coach said to me and pointed at opposing blitzer. He was young, full of hope. And it was my job to end that. I tried asking for anything else, they could even bench me but all my pleas were in vain. It was my job to inflict pain. There is no way out for me anymore. There is no escape. All you young ones, cut your claws before it's too late. I wish none of you this same fate. I hope all of you watching now understand better that it's not always that players fault. If this opened your eyes or you enjoyed reading about this torment fell free to give this post an upvote,
  16. But you didnt! Great work hanging in there regardless!!
  17. Added some drums & remixed it some. It was somewhat influnced by John Bauer "Among Gnomes and Trolls" among other things.
  18. Earlier
  19. Block dodge tackle. We had our first failure this week. Up 1-0 with an 3 player advantage we pressed the ball. Instead of marking him we went double gfi fails. Then trying to sack the ball we pushed the side line. 3+ 3+ 2+ dodges ran past my tackle and tie game. Second half was tough and we quickly lost players as his KOs came back. It would have been a loss but he pathed to the ball, back to where he was, then the end zone. This was to avoid tackle zones but it made him select the player again and reset his path. So I missed being able to go anywhere I wanted with super gaze but I should have lost this one.
  20. Well the pesky Brets did their thing and won 2-1. I definitely made a couple of mistakes and feel I played fairly well but the attrition caught up with us again. That and the constant stream of snakes and double skulls. 3 double bloodlust fails and 3 double skulls... Ratamo's dice were also plagued with some 1s also. I swear the RNG is just an ass...lol No perm injuries but we're down to 11 again for our 3rd Bret game out of 4 matches. Thankfully the fouls were mostly ineffective and the ref caught almost everything. I'd say yay it's the last but we have lizards, chorfs, killer humies after that so.... No levels again but some SPP creep towards them. Really badly need some tackle...
  21. Added some drums & remixed an older tune I had made.
  22. Key moments - second half: We started the second half with one player disadvantage (10 versus 11) because one knocked out player came back from each team. The weather changed to sweltering heat so I was sure if anybody would score that would be in the last minutes of the game. 1.) They kicked the ball near the midfield so I surrounded it. But oh dear, we rolled a really stupid at the line of scrimmage (Double Skull counter: 2; Skull counter: 3). 2.) They stunned a nurgle warrior with the claw player and put up a good defense. I tried to position my beast next to 2 or 4 ST 3 pieces (can't remember what was the exact plan) but I think you can guess what happened. Another really stupid in the pool (Double Skull counter: 2; Skull counter: 4). So the next step was to create a little space on the sides for our attack. What should I say? It was horrendous. Let's meet our friend, the quad skull (Double Skull counter: 4; Skull counter: 4). 3.) After two really disappointing turns (for the nurgles of course) they came closer to suffocate us. They blitzed with the claw player but we survived it yet again. Meanwhile they stunned our front, lying nurgle warrior with a foul. Because of the foul, they concentrated 6 players on one side so there was a narrow path to break through. I pushed the wrong dwarf for the break through, but in reality I could not make it because our carrier was too far away from their defense line. So we moved a bit closer. 4.) The only problem was that they hit us hard and 4 out od 5 hits connected. It would had been crucial that the beast stands up but this night was not about success (Double Skull counter: 4; Skull counter: 5)... I knocked out their claw player but they healed him right at the point (apothecary lost). We made two extra steps for the run but could not spare a player for protection (or more precisely I did not risk the 2 dodge, 2 going for it play with the pestigor next to the bull centaur). 5.) They pulled off the 1 dice hit to free a dwarf and they could rush on us with a going for it. It was important because our carrier was a skilled dodger. The hit was clear and later they even picked up the ball. 6.) However, we could reclaim it with a dodge, blitz combination and a pick up. The only problem was that the blitz was carried out by a hit pestigor so I had to choose between staying on the side (and pushed out next turn with a blitz) or moving next to a block, tackle dwarf with my last movement. I choose the dwarf After this we burned a re-roll because of a double skull but hey, at least after it we could push away a random dwarf (Double Skull counter: 5; Skull counter: 5). At this point it was clear that I should move more players near my carrier to help him. We just needed two 2/3 dodge from two pestigors. We managed to do that! 7.) They knocked down my pestigor right away, did not even needed the blitz for that and based my two helper pestigors with the two bull centaurs (one of them needed a blitz for it). It seems I should have put my back nurgle warrior (see above) on the free centaur instead of protecting our back (Conclusion: Miscalculated defense). 8.) At this point I tried to dodge away from one centaur to help my lying pestigor with a blitz on the dwarf. Lost my last re-roll and failed the dodge as well. 9.) They failed the pick up but it was a scatter, two scatters by the way, and it was bad. 10.) My last remorse (because I failed to move with my free rotter last turn) was to dodge away with my dodge pestigor (success) and push the bull centaur away with 1 dice for a 2/3 dodge or a follow up run if I could find a hit. We missed 11.) They tried to knock down my pestigor in scoring range but it failed. Thus they needed 3 extra steps to protect the ball with the bull centaur. It was a success. They even pulled off a 2/3 dodge, 2 extra steps play from a hobgoblin (without re-roll) to diminish our chance to score. 12.) We failed the first dodge and I misclicked not to use the dodge skill but as you can see below it would be very hard to pick up the ball with the rotter (1/2, 1/3 dodge; 1/6 pick up probably; pass; intrception and a catch). 13.) In the end they could not score a second (one hobgoblin was in scoring range for a long pass) and fortunately the claw player could just knock out two important players from my team in the last two turns (so no injuries there). The score stayed 1-0 for their side.
  23. Hey @cpervert No worries - tonight at 20:00 utc looks good. See you on the pitch, buddy! Cheers Nate
  24. So far our rallying has been working! At the moment our team consist @Ratamo @Gelbek @Fuggernomics TBD TBD @Bouffon If you're interested just gimme holler! We accept everyone, as you see when we took Bouffon! Rules can be found here!
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