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Bouffon

Orca Cola Director
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  1. Thanks. The original link works, so copypaste must have warped the link if there are issues with it.
  2. Evening of your moral alignment, ladies and gentlemen. Last week we interviewed Nuffle himself, and that proved a great success: our audience ratings soared and we didn't even have to replace Jenny and Dax who – after some trials and tribulations, extra tentacles and missing toes – made it safely back from the realm of the almighty. This week we're going to interview the next greatest divinity to directly affect the pitch, or perhaps he could be seen more as priest of Nuffle, for he reads Nuffle's sacred text and administers punishment and victories on the pitch. He is the slimiest coward most of you have ever seen or will ever see, he is... the referee. *Picture cuts to a almost totally dark corridor leading downwards. Floor, ceiling and walls are covered with warding runes and several traps can be seen, momentarily deactivated* Günther, our top still-living correspondent, is about to enter referee's hideout right now. For safety of everyone involved, we will not disclose the location of bunker-hole you are about to see. Most referees live in homes such as these, and only come out for the matches. It is a lonely and fearful life, but the few that manage to survive until retirement move to some other continent to live like kings... until assassins get to them, anyway. *Steel reinforced door at end of the corridor opens. Behind of it is a nice and surprisingly cozy room. In middle of the room sits a goblin in a white-black striped suit, pointing a huge knife towards the camera.* About time you got here sonny. I had to keep my traps down for full two minutes. Plenty of time for assassins to get in. I am sorry Bribesnitz, but one of your decapitation traps was still operation. It took me some time to navigate around it. Apology accepted, Günther, but I am Mr. Bribesnitz to you. My family has been referees for three generations, and my granddad even died of natural causes. You journalists should show some respects... or money, I also accepts money in lieu of respect. Oh yes, mr. Bribesnitz it is (please put that knife down). I am here to ask you some questions, as you know, for the benefit our viewers who so rarely see your side on the pitch. And that is what our first question is about. You referees are required to uphold Nuffle's sacred texts about touchdowns, illegal weapons, fouls and such, while most of the fans just come to see blood flow and body parts being ripped off. Do you ever think that fans are missing some part of the game, or do you wish you could enjoy the simplicity of carnage like they do, without caring about all the rules? That is a tricky question, Günther, like trying to woo a bloodweiser babe. I have to say that yes, there is a vast divide between referees and your casual blood bowl fans, but it is not about enjoying the game in a different manner. No, for me it all comes down to a big fat paycheck that I can spend on my creature comforts here on my hole. Personally I like reading and philosophy, as you might notice from my civilised parlance, so unlike those gutter-living average goblins. Frankly, I dislike blood bowl but being a referee is a well paying job with a good dental plan. Wow, you might have earned some new enemies with that answer Mr. Bribesnitz, assuming there was anyone left who didn't hate you... I meant the fans, please put the knife down. So, ehhhm, your attidute towards the game has been made clear. I assume that same goes for the fans? Most certainly and even more so. Any person or thing that enjoys blood bowl as a sport is should be somewhere below a snotling in a proper food chain, in my most humble opinion. If they happen to have a vested monetary interest, like yours truly, then I might forgive them for also liking the sport. However, fans only stand to lose money to those tickets they buy and they are never rich enough to bribe me (and my rates are reasonable). It is really hard to tell unwashed masses from Nurgle's cultists sometimes, I tell you. Thank you for being straight and candid, Mr. Bribesnitz. Our next question is... wait a second, what is a fan submitted question doing so early in my list? Oh well, let's give it a show: why did you eject Hubris Rakarth for fouling during Darkside Cowboy's last game? You were paid the appropriate bribe twice due to clerical error and everything? That is a strange question Günther. How do fans know such details of my finances? I only use premium banks, you know. Still, I like this question: it gives me opportunity to do some marketing. I ejected that overvalued so called star player, Hubris, because the Naggaroth Nightwings gave me a bribe three times the usual size before the game. It paid off for them, didn't it he-heh-heh-heeeee.... urgghhh... *Bribesnitz keels over and falls on a table he was sitting next to, his knife slipping from his hand. As the lifeless body of the goblin referee slides down the table a new figure emerges in the screen. It is a shadow within shadows, an assassin.* Oh dear Nuffle... dear viewers, it seems like Mr. Bribesnitz has been assassinated in a live broadcast. I don't see the assassin in question very well, but I can make out some elvish traits. Now it is moving towards me, still in the shadows, and... and... and I think it is Horkn Heartripper himself! This is truly an honour Mr. Heartripper, I am a great fan of your work and I would like to ask for your autograph... you could write it with blood of Mr. Bribesknitz here, come to think of it. Sorry, I didn't hear you very well, what did you say? What about witnesses? No, no-no-no-nooo, please, PLEASE, PLEASE, PUT THAT KNIFE DOOOOOOOOoooooowwnnn....
  3. If we go by that terminology and my quick analysis of each coach... am I the passive-aggressive coach?
  4. Bouffon

    POMB THEM ALL

    I hope this slaughter emptied your casualty pool for the season. That was brutal.
  5. I'd like to hear your opinions of it. Most people seem to like it, but also acknowledge that is too long and writers had infantile sense of humour. It is next on my list of coop games to play, unless BG3 mania overtakes me and my brother.
  6. You could watch replays of OCC Kislev teams. I have too much free time and like to watch those on occasion. Replays do not have flashing signs pointing out good moves or those hard to spot small-but-critical decisions, but one can still learn from them... plus they are fun to watch! I have most excellent high TV team. My playstyle switches between aggressive attacks and patient defence, sometimes during the same turn. It is also very impulsive and I am something of a (calculated) risk taker, but I must be doing something right to be where I am and have been. I'd recommend looking at my blitzer positioning especially, they seem to end up in right places by accident if nothing else. @Ratamo has newer team, still developing. He is more aggressive player than I and tends to win or lose instead of getting draws. It is more losing than winning now, but such is life of relatively fresh Kislev team. Despite his aggressiveness, he favours safety much more than I do, leaving opportunities unused but securing his gains with greater precision. @tubragg is the most aggressive Kislev coach OCC has, and it shows: half of their team is either dead or dying at any given moment. That didn't prevent them from reaching tier 1 and doing surprisingly well out there. If you want to see a match where 3 Kislev linemen turn a 1-0 loss into 1-2 win by themselves, Tubragg is most likely to have played that game. I wouldn't recommend being so ballsy all the time, but those outrageous plays can be a delight to watch. @Ruszi, like me, has a good team going for him nowadays, but showed really strong skills even before that. They are the one I've watched the least of all coaches I now list, but I can't remember any single huge misplay from them. I need more data, but they are probably the best overall Kislev coach in OCC. Their amazing win record speaks for itself.
  7. Bouffon

    Battle Brothers

    Early game is where and when most mercenery companies die, so it makes up more than half of playtime across all games. Late game ain't too bad either, but if you survive a crisis or two, it starts to get stale. I consider late game (which is by no means a cakewalk) a reward for making it past the early game.
  8. Bouffon

    Battle Brothers

    I mentioned in...in Discord...in secret admin channel...of greensuits (not normal admins). ...that doesn't count, does it? And yeah, it is really good fun.
  9. I have nothing against strip ball... I just don't take most of the time because window of teams without sure hands is gone by before linemen level up People should learn by being kicked to the deep end, but I don't hate this build. Long as coach acknowledges that catchers are elves and that blitzers become good and cost effective with few levels, they can't go wrong.
  10. You started from T5 where you had to mingle with experienced teams, you have build up quite a nice roster in couple of seasons and Kislev always has a rocky start. I would call my little experiment called Ratamo a huge success: 3-1-3 setup does work wonders. As for you @JamesJenks92, here is a long and rambling general guide to Kislev in OCC and other long form leagues. Don't be afraid to ask of anything specific, but takes my word with some salt: I think I am good Kislev coach, but I am no means excellent. Strength of Kislev lies in its catchers and blitzers. Catchers and their AG4 can get in and out of pretty much anywhere with their leap, and blitzers' initially bad looking starting skills complement simple blodge nicely. And blitzers can get simple blodge rather easily: they have normal access on all skills except passing (and mutations, of course). Getting all the blitzers and 2+ catchers to high level (preferably with few doubles for catchers and statups for everyone, but that is up to Nuffle) is what early Kislev is all about, after that they can actually focus on winning with those key players. Blitzers have great many builds available to them, thanks to their wide skill access. At least two of them should go blodge, guard, sidestep/stand firm in my opinion. This gives you a guaranteed number of hard to hit guards that can dodge away to reposition 8/9 of the time and that can diving tackle any non-leaping opponent that tries to disengage without blocking. One blitzer should be killer with MB, block, tackle, PO skills (order may vary, but start with MB), because every team needs a one killer and jump up works nicely with PO. Last one, if not guard build, is the joker, I personally prefer blodge, tackle, frenzy, juggernaut for surfs and general utility. Killer build benetifs from +ST, any build (but especially my utilityjoker) benefits from +AG. Bonus armour and movement I would skip for blitzers. Catchers go blodge, sidestep, fend, sure hands, catch. If doubles, guard and pass are both good skills, but guard is the far better option. Any statup except armour works great on them, but taking second +AG for AG6 might be a bit of an overkill. Linemen are, as always, fodder to be fed to your opponent. Assuming they survive, they go wrestle, tackle and fend, one of them should have kick as first skill or after wrestle. Those with wrestle (and tackle, if needed) will act as your primary ball-sackers, because you shouldn't really care if they die and ball-sacking leaps into cages and such are risky. If they don't get doubles before 4th levelup, they are sackable, but I'd let the nature run its course and put them on the line of scrimmage duty. With doubles linemen take guard, dodge and sidestep/stand firm. Note that I didn't mention a fouling piece. I wouldn't build a dirty player lineman with Kislev, but that is probably mostly me, I figure a one fouler could work wonders if used corectly. As for the bear... it is a tricky beast. I would never start with a bear, ever, but it becomes useful when your team develops. Bear naturally attracts some punches and each dead or permanently injured bear is likely one fewer dead or permanently injured blitzer or catcher, and those are the guys that need to stay alive. That is to say: bears exist to die first, killing being only secondary use for them. Downside of bears is that they will die when you meet more developed claw teams and that they cost a ton, you bank will be empty quite often. Bears will also bloat your TV to even higher than it would otherwise be, but living with stupidly high TV is part of the Kislev experience. Your general tactics should be speed and manouvre. When receiving, try to get your ball carrier and some escorts behind the enemy team during the same turn so that you are safe but can score whenever. Try to stall as long as you can and score when neccessary. In defence you should threathen leaping action against their ball (remind your opponent of leaping if they don't remember/know Kislev). Trick is not to realise that threath of a leap unless it is a really good opportunity, but to force opponent into taking players away from pushing into anti-leap formation around the ball. This gives defending Kislev amazing flexibility to either defend normally against cautious enemy or to go for the sack against aggressive enemy. Blitzers should be positioned quite evenly along the front so their jump up blocks from prone position and diving tackles get the maximum coverage. This is something that I do by instict nowadays, but required actual planning once upon a time. Your team, when it gets good, will bloat like nothing else, but it is the good sort of bloat: only linemen and the bear can actually run out of good and decent skill picks without +STAT or doubles. Just be prepared to face bribes, fireballs and star players almost every match. All this applies to long form leagues like OCC. In rez tournaments and shorter leagues Kislev can't play for that late term high TV success. 3 catchers and 1 blitzer build that plays more like elves might work on them, for example, but I have much less experience on those kind of leagues.
  11. Tatami is Japanese floor covering with 2:1 proportions, usually made out of rice straws but sometimes out of wood or some other material. Sometimes the whole floor is covered with tatamis and they act as sort of carpeting. Single tatami can also be used as a bed. Anyone Japanese or more knowledgeable of Japanese culture is welcome to correct me via PM as this question is answered, far as I can tell.
  12. At the very same second @Ratamo
  13. Hi! Our next season is starting in a week. If you want to sign up, do so here. You'll end up on our reserves list, but we always need to dip into our reserves quite fast. Just remember to check these forums regularly, if you do so. This (and everything else) can also be found in our rules, that you should read if you intent to sign up. Hope this helped.
  14. Last couple of seasons have been pretty bad when it comes in-pitch luck, but I've kept my team alive. That is the luckiest break anyone who coaches a team good as mine can hope for. Against our tentacle+clawpomb champion, my team remained both alive and on the pitch. That should have given me 2-0 or 2-1 win, but I made couple of bad moves that ended up with my ball -2D blocking itself down and RTSD triple surfing me. But this is champion's thread, we can talk about me in here when I steal that title
  15. I almost won him with luck but messed it up with mistakes. RTSD didn't need the first and showed very little of the latter. Grats.
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