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Ratamo

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  1. Thank you for your order. Expected arrival of your order shall be announced later
  2. Are you tired of getting punched in the face? Have you heard that you ain't ugly enough to join nurgle team? Do you smell like roses and try blame it on fabric softener? There is cure for your symptoms and it is called Eau De Plaugue. This marvelous product was designed by Plaguefather theirself*! It will mold you, it well renew you and it will change your life, for good! Over 96% users are satisfied with the product**. And as the proverb says: Thousand flies can't be wrong! If you want to make this: Into this: Then you know what you need to do! Buy one for yourself, one for your friend and why not to your lover? Eau De Plaugue works for ALL***! Delivery is fast, discreet and reliable! If you order now it should be arrive before your next game! Where would it be better to use than on one of these? - * Plaguefather approved the design of the bottle. ** Percents are counted from refunded bottles. *** All breeds of cats, other animals not recommended.
  3. Remember that there is allways an chance! When i joined OCC they needed few fresh teams to T5 (T6 was thing then) and as i was promised teams with one season played i decided to take the challenge with fresh kislev. TV difference was around 800 on first game, so can't say i was thrilled. But playing as underdog has it's advantages as if you manage to win it's way more satisfying. All i can say is try to have fun, take part in side competitions and take it as opportunity to learn!
  4. Wait you thought it is over? Not yet young one, there are more stories to be told! I've been around the known world and reached areas that scribes told wouldn't be there. But there i was, standing on uncharted lands! This tale is about those places and the things i saw in there. Chapter 8. Orcs, Orcs, Orcs As the heroes traveled trough the land, Orcs were jealous and that won't stand. Undefeated heroes, whom gloated and danced, Savage were orcs, they can't be tranced. So began game and confident was coach, Can those savages, from heroes their win poach? Match began quickly and coach was tired, That ain't excuse, he should be fired! But match went forward as did greens, To stop them had heroes no means. Yet they tried, but it was in vain, and most heroes, they fell in pain. Chip Potts was chipped, armor were busted. Palanquin needs rest, it's you who we trusted. Cogsworth is hurt it's knee, and moves slower, So i'll ask you, can the bar be any lower? Heroes took quite heavy trim, And before last match things are looking grim. Chapter 9. Vertically constricted persons. Six wins, loss and draw. Heroes surely made it far. Title isn't secured, one match to go. If it's not sure, we must cancel the show. Match versus dwarfs, deciding game. Just who would remember losers name? Dwarfs took offence, so heroes have to defend. Win or draw, they have means to an end. Kick was short yet dwarves reached the ball, That's step one, soon they shall fall! Cage was formed so push it's walls! This is how you might win wars! Opening was found and can it be reached? Can Dwarvish cage, now be breached? Carrier was back, just one square too much, Now they have plan and in plan they trust. So ball was loose and hopes did wake, Focus now, title is at stake! Ball was free, and it means only one thing, Defensive touchdown happened, and it did sting. Slow were dwarves too slow to react, Division title secured and that is fact. That's how it went, match which decided it all. Are they next season, doomed to fall? Another life lost, this time LePlume's, These casualties heroes mood glooms. Forte broke his armour and chose retirement, All these heroes, needs refinement. So that's the story, tale of the heroes. May their reign continue in future seasons and may their accomplishments be sang by scribes till end of times!
  5. Okay i just quickly checked the teams from my division and my team has lowest team value (suprise there), meaning im down attleast 150k by default.. Wizard time?
  6. Yup T3 it is. Quite interesting division with few bash teams, two kislevs, two skavens and two dark elves, so i might survive this season!
  7. That's the thing i actually fear most now that the T5 title was confirmed. And allmost won rubber helmet along with it! 7-1-1 was the record and im pretty amazed by that No bigger changes on team other that few linos died and one guard lino was along them. 120k in bank and 9 players on roster so i can continue with full roster attleast one match on new season, whichever tier it is
  8. Chapter 6. Undead, Unfed. It's been while, hasn't it young one? But glad you waited as i have another story to tell you. Enjoy! Back again, sixth match was an go. Watch them mummies with mighty blow. It was undead and regeneration is an thing, However removal could still sting. Zombies receive, but here is the twist. Our mighty heroes gained an Blitz. Pressure was on and removal were made, Zombie was KO'd, which had died from blade. Ball was far and can’t be reached, however their defence can still be breached. Play it safe or make the push? Play it aggressively and forward they rushed. Ball was slippery atleast for the ghoul, Ball was snatched, get off you fool! So on turn two happened and heroes took the lead, But game is not over, don’t open your mead! Ali Babad was on pitch, but not anymore. Six turns remaining, can they even the score? Weather changed, from nice to rain and line of scrimmage suffered no pain! Ball wasnt picked so there is chance, Push for the ball, stop their advance. One did make it, another did fail. Can the rain, us out from this bail? Ball was slippery and ball was wet, Still they thought it’s not over just yet. Ball wasnt picked, by ghouls attleast. It is fine, now you can start your feast. Mrs. Potts scored on turn eight, Two to nothing and that is great! What happened second half you might ask? Nothing significant i shall tell you! Le Fou made his appearance and scored on T16 second half sealing the game and score to 3-0. On to next time!
  9. Im having issues on getting level ups.. But otherwise stuff is going great. As long as i draw MD8 or MD9 i will win my division, otherwise it's gonna be tiebreaker math. But runner is secured!
  10. Today we have very special guest with us. It is famous former Blood Bowl superstar who switched to different way of entertainment after his career. Ladies, gentleman and dwarves, let me present you: Jake "Grunt" Panzerman! Jake how are you and tell the listeners where have you been and what have you been doing lately. Music. Yes, that is known. But could you elaborate bit? Surely there must be reason why you chose to give your first interview to Radio Hard-Snot today? My therapist told me that i should deal with my traumas. Music is the way. So have you made any music then? Do you have anything to play us today? That i do. This song came straight from my heart or from the pieces i have left from it. That's right folks! You heard this first time from us, first playtime for this new and first song from Jake "Grunt" Panz.. What are you doing? Why are you stripping your clothes? This game is brilliant This game is brilliant My skills are true I met with Nuffle Of that I'm sure He blessed my blocking dice Yet he gave me skulls But I won't falter 'Cause i have an plan You're beautiful Yet you're horrible You're biased too, it's true I saw refs face behind foulers mace And I just can't move 'Cause they have bribes, it's cruel I pleaded for mercy as i the stomps fell Ref saw nothing That i can tell I don't think that I'll make it All i can do is yell You're beautiful Yet you're horrible You're biased too, it's true I saw refs face behind foulers mace And I just can't move 'Cause ref took bribe which was good You're beautiful Yet you're horrible You're biased too, it's true He must be devil with that grin on his face Nuffle is laughing, im not in the mood But it's time to face the truth Bribes don't fail, that ain't good. So that was the song! It really gave me impression you were talking about your very last game on the pitch. Is that right Jake? Jake? Im sorry to our dear listeners, but it seems that Jake has left and apparently without his clothes. It's really freezing out there so i'll try alarming professional help in the meantime.
  11. Chapter 6. Leaps & Lizards Didn't we hear this earlier, you might think. But you are wrong, so wrong. There are more lizards, more i say! Add some wood on the fire cause' the night is cold and this tale takes time. Just draw last game, devastated was team. No perfect season and there goes the dream. Still no time for sorrow, no time for sadness. More lizards, show them kislev madness! Three journeymen bolstered the ranks, fourth was induced se they had mostly tramps. Coinflip we're won, defence was chosen. One player on bench, morale had rosen. Kick was high and sauri got under, But ball did slip, so that was an plunder. Next to sideline it did stay, and this is how, began the play. Blocks were thrown left to right, but they didn't hurt, heroes still fight. Boneheaded was kroxi whom we're next to Beast, And it leaved an opening for skink to feast. So Beast charged and hurted the little one, First removal of the game and lizards had none. Lizards moved with ball and caged was formed, It can be breached and so was the ball floored. Scatter was bad and ball was reclaimed, and again was the ball carrier softly maimed. But no chance to steal it, lizards had it once more and the cagediving started to feel like an chore. Third time was the charm and ball scattered again, Good direction, heroes have stopped them! Ball was based, with two players each side, Who will get it? Let the Nuffle decide. Sauri charged and but skulls appeared, Quadruple skulls and oh how our heroes cheered. Sauri next to ball, but it is alone. So Angelique stole the ball, out from tacklezone. Screens we're made, sauris can't reach. There is no way, they can our defence breach. Yet lonely skink made it and took an duel, Both we're down, how Nuffle is this cruel? There was still chance, but it was in vain. No touchdowns and KO's we're still in pain. Heroes had the numbers as it was nine versus eight, That's brilliant, that is just great! But struggling was attack there were no room, Is inability to attack, heroes inevitable doom? Switched were sides, one after another. Score quickly, why should we bother? Eventually there was hole, gap was found. Just enough to turn this around. So heroes ran and managed to break trough. Believe in Nuffle, our faith is true. Heroes could score, yet decided to wait. Wait for turn and set up the bait. Sauris can't dodge or so they thought And it allmost harsh lesson to heroes taught. Assist was given and Sauri rushed, But no pow in sight, so in touchdown ball was pushed. Lead in score but numbers were thin. Six versus ten, can heroes still earn their win? Two turns to go, with pickup it started. But as it failed twice, their whole attack had halted. So did the match end, zero to one. Undefeated, heroes can stop none. And that's how it went and their tale continues. Mrs. Potts earned the honor of being MVP and learned how to run further. Heroes carry on their quest and bolstered their ranks with new recruit. Le Fou has joined their ranks. Sadly it won't be much consolation without Gaston, but only time will tell can our heroes turn this clumsy fool into villain they need. Now scram!
  12. 6 games, 5-1-0 11 players 2 catchers (blodge and MA+) Fresh Blitzer (straight from oven) Bear with Guard 2 linos with guard One lonely lino with wrestle 3 RR + Apo Kislevs are on fire today !
  13. Chapter 5. Mean Minotaur As next match is revealed fear strucks in hearts of our heroes. Beast can't take part in next feud and as Belle had sprained her ankle so it meant they couldn't field full team. They have minotaur, was the thing most heroes thought. Is it their greatest weakness or biggest weapon? However our heroes had won all their games so far against all odds, so they were confident. There were nothing that managed to stop them before, why there would be anything now? Especially as they could hire wizard to assist them. Glory for Kislev! As teams entered the pitch crowd cheered wildly. Crowd cheered, but not for the kislev. They are surely rooting for the underdogs. Even the heavy rainfall didn't stop their cheering. Both sides of the stadium cheered at one team, that doesn't promise any good.. So the coin was flipped and as it was raining our heroes decided to give their opponents chance to try picking the slippery ball, surely it leaves an opening for heroes? As the ball was kicked in the air the atmosphere changed. Rainfall had stopped. This didn't go according to the plan, but it is common. Weather is game of chance. So the battle began and heroes lines didn't falter. They suffered many hits, their armour were broken, but their spirit endured. Heroes attackked their cage and managed to get next to the ball carrier rather quickly. Break their formation, give them no quarter. Dwarves endured the first attack. They managed to keep the ball but the cost was their formation. There were cage no more but only screens. So our heroes went for the ball succesfully and ball was loose. However the scatter wasn't favouring our heroes and thus is how the skirmish began. Only pushes, it's the theme of the team. And as our heroes couldn't clear enough room for the ball to be picked it was enemies turn to attempt it. And they didn't fail. So they formed new cage and moved the ball forward. But just one step too close. Our heroes saw their chance. Loose cage it was, perfect time to call for wizard. So our heroes called for air support and lighting bolt did the trick. Ball was loose and as one dwarf were pushed on the ball the scatter was great. Not perfect, but good enough so Mrs. Potts could reach the ball and make the pass. As the pass flew high dwarves couldn't intercept it and it was clear that heroes would go for 1-0 lead on defense, great work! There were still two turns for enemies to score, but it would be hard. As they send players forth it meant their rear would be quite open. One hobgoblin was punched off the pitch. Fans were happy and they KO'd that poor fella. Both sides had scoring chance and the ball was still on the ground. Enemies would require to do quite unlikely moves and as they couldn't it was all in hands of our heroes. Named Mrs. Potts and Anqelique. Mrs. Potts would need to leap, dodge away, pick the ball and make short pass in the hand of Anqelique who could score. However as first dodge failed and Anqelique fumbled the catch the first half ended 1-0. Heroes shall attack now and as both sides had full numbers there would be chance to gain momentum. Pushes were gained, but one dwarf were knocked down and stunned on the pitch. But it was meaningless armourbreak. Our heroes made more pushes and couldn't find place to move the ball. Enemies had based them and numbers were even, but then the collapse started. One kislev warrior were knocked out, another was removed and for moment it looked like Chip Potts had died, but apotechary told he just needs one game rest. And then the one and only mistake our heroes could have made happened. Sidelinecage were formed, but it's corner had been based. There was easy hit on the ball if enemies can knock our heroes down. And it happened. Ballcarrier was surfed and the ball was thrown on the midfield, which meant enemies could reach the ball. Another kislev was removed from the pitch and as our heroes took last proper attempt on the ball carrier it meant that Lumier were killed in process. His fire were snuffed out but maybe he can bring warmth to whoever he meets in the afterlife. 5 kislev soldiers were removed in first 3 turns of the second half and it meant that game is over. So let's just cut to the slack There were attempts to fight back, Thought numbers were getting thinner and thinner So there would be no real winner. So as our disgraced heroes leave the pitch there is attleast small glimpse of hope. Palanquin had gained the MVP and was confident enough that he could learn new skill. After weeks of training he specialized in guard, meaning there is 3 players on the team which know how to guard. Team has returned to their chambers and they will count their losses. Maybe they can reinforce their ranks against next team, which is lizards.. Can they?
  14. If anyone is still wondering should they play kislev, i would want to say think carefully before you do.. 5 games: 5 MNG, 3 permas and 1 death. And still counting.
  15. I want to believe you typed the headline as it most clearly needs to be Beauty and the Leap
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