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It is a new season and because of the events that unfolded after last seasons game, a new team is being fielded by Coach Soapy. As some of you are aware, [REDACTED] is currently being sought for questioning after they allegedly absconded with the money from the team treasury, now the wild spending towards the end of last season seems to make some sense. It seems [REDACTED] was so good at book keeping he was keeping two sets for the restaurant, and the police have some questions for him, but after the last game no one has seen hide nor hair of him, when his wife was questioned, she informed us that she had already left him for some musician and said, 'good riddance to bad rubbish.' Ouch! So enough about those jerks, let's meet the new team! The Powers-That-Be decided that instead of pulling in workers from the restaurant they would pull in some real brains and recruited the team from the local college, the original plan was to recruit some barbarians, but some type of mix-up must have occurred and they went with librarians instead, and when none of the librarians were interested, they decided to just go with some authors. So who are we fielding this season? Let's meet the team that you'll be rooting for to win Division 6C! John Spinebreak: Taking a break from focusing on narratives about the 'common orc,' John is working on doing some research for his latest book 'Of Dice and Men,' about two buddies who share a dream, a dream of owning their own blood bowl pitch that's got a pen full of rabbits. Kate Chop-in: Don't let her attractive, docile, main characters fool you, Kate is a killer, (usually death by drowning,) but she wants some practical knowledge of seeing the light go out of someone's eyes after she slaps 'em so hard it breaks their neck. It seems the thought of playing Blood Bowl has led to an Awakening the blood lust in this fine lady. Marcel Pr-Ouch!: The only thing more complicated than his sentence structure are his plans for how to move the ball up the field, let's hope his team mates can keep up with him. As long as there are no milk maids or duchesses around, he should be able to focus on the game. Jane Austin 3:16: She's got sense, she's got sensibility and she's here to whoop some ass! Vol Tear: This is the best of all possible worlds, and if he's living his best life it means that Vol Tear is going to be tearing your arms out and beating you about the head with them. Robin Hobb-le: The only thing more brutal than what she puts her characters through in her novels is what she plans on doing to her opponents this season. And if you're not familiar with her high fantasy series, you really don't know what you're missing, George R.R. Martin has admitted to 'heavily borrowing' from her works, too bad he wasn't bright enough to steal some endings from her instead of some of the major plot points and those feast descriptions. Caleb CaAARRGH : This prodigy burst onto the literary scene with The Alienist, spoiler alert, there were NO aliens in it! But he's planning on knocking his opponents into orbit with those huge paws! Raymond E. Fist: Yet another high fantasy author hoping to get some practical knowledge of some other races to put into his books so that they can also be properly fleshed out, not really, he just wants to cause some pain so he can better describe them crying in his books. John Barf: A master postmodernist, but will his lack of belief in 'objective truth' be a hindrance to his game play? Hope he doesn't get 'Lost in the Funhouse' again as he's working on his next book, Giles Goat-Boy, it seems to be about some Chaos Beastmen. Matt Rough: While not a hard hitting author, he knows his way around the blood bowl pitch and we'll find out if his practical knowledge will let him play with these big boys and girls. And if he can't handle the heat, he can just go back home to Lovecraft Country. William Foulkner: Taking a break from writing 'The Pound and the Fury,' ol' Bill is trying to work out that 'Benji' section and is coming up with some ideas for another book, 'As You Lay Dying.' , And that's the team. And all you lucky ducks that stay home can rely on me, Fanta, and I'll be giving you the play by play for all the matches that we play this season. So I hope to see you in the stands!

Drunk N' Disorderly OCC Season 14 - MD 1 Roster: 01 - Danny DaTroll - Troll 02 - Sneaky Git - Goblin 03 - Grishnash - Blitzer 04 - Mega Grog - Black Orc 05 - Elf Breaker - Black Orc 06 - Mark Castillo - Thrower 07 - Chase 'Rage' Hermanson - Blitzer 08 - Matt 'Karnage' Karn - Blitzer 09 - Jesse 'Bear' Dugas - Black Orc 10 - Anthony 'Baron' Jackson - Black Orc 11 - Rat Smasher - Blitzer Starting Staff: Rerolls: 1 Apothecary: 1 Fan Factor: 1 Coach Assistant: 1 Cheerleaders: 1 Game 1: Sons of Green (Wood Elves) - Result: Defeat 0-4 End of Game Report: Rat Smasher +5 SPP (MVP) 10 Armor Breaks, 1 Explusion Phew boy. That was a rough one folks. The first four turns came out as best as I could have hoped. One of the enemy linemen were dead, another knocked out, and I pushed out his wardancer off the pitch. The ball got fumbled inbetween three of my blitzers fairly well protected, and now it was all up to me. This is where the white man's greed comes in. To add insult to injury I decide to foul with one of my black orcs, and after that moment I realized I was losing control of the pitch. Turnovers started happening left and right, and with ease my opponent broke into the ball and threw it around however they wanted. In the end this was my fault, as I had plenty of good luck and good rolls, just poor positioning and not staying focused on getting myself in as good of a spot again. A few misclicks and poor choices compounded the issue in the second half and allowed my opponent to farm plenty of skill points. Toward the end of the game, my Troll almost got killed, saved by a last minute Apoc roll. At that point I knew I just needed to get my players out alive for next week. I learned a lesson this round, and I look forward to applying some new tricks next week to keep the odds stacked in my favor. I regret nothing about the fouls, more fouls for the foul God.

The Soda Jerkz These 'fellas,' and I use that term loosely, all worked together for a summer at the local Fiendly's ices cream parlor and soda fountain. One night after work while rough housing in the parking lot, they were playing 'keep away' with the tip money that the goblins had earned, they discovered they worked well as a team they decided to try it on the Blood Bowl Pitch. These boys have a lot heart but not much skill, which is a perfect fit for their new Coach. But what who are they? 1. Barq - Black Orc - Not much is known about this enigmatic orc, not even his real name. But when interviewed for the position as Maître D' and bouncer he just barked. In fact some wonder if he can speak at all. But leading slobs to their tables doesn't require much communication and bouncing out the unruly guests even less, so it was a perfect fit all around. 2. Doc Brown - Black Orc - The morning shift manager who is acting as the team doctor, until they can afford an apothecary. He isn't a real doctor, but after breaking so many arms getting the early crew 'motivated' to tackle the breakfast rush he's had to set enough of them straight to get the nickname 'Doc.' 3. Mister Pibbs -Black Orc - The general manager of this Fiendly's franchise knows that he has to keep an eye on his boys. They respect, and fear him rightly enough to always remember to never leave off the Mister. 4. Doctor Pepper - Black Orc - Who is (almost) a real doctor, well he is in doctoring school, but never made it past anatomy. In fact he just keeps retaking the Anatomy/Physiology hoping to learn more about bodies so he knows how to hurt 'em in the most painful way possible. He is the head waiter and is using all his tips, as well as the cut he demands from his understaff, to pay for those expensive college courses. 6. Duke - Blitzer - Short order cook. His specialty is the squib, egg, and cheese on a roll. He protects the ball like his mother's recipe for secret squib sauce, (it's extra spider eggs). As you can tell he's not really that good at protecting secrets. 7. RC - Blitzer - Sous-Chef. That glove on his hand with the claws is for more than just punching snotlings that think they can steal some potato skins, it slices, dices, chops and peels. RC is hoping one day to move up the ladder and be a cook himself, but for now he has to content himself with prepping Duke's cooking ingredients. He also gets to taste everything before it comes out of the kitchen. 8. Shasta - Blitzer - Wait staff. As long as there's been a Fiendlys at this location, there has been Shasta. Nobody is quite sure who hired him, each manager that's taken control of the franchise has discovered upon opening that Shasta's there and ready to take orders. 9. Moxie - Blitzer - Soda Fountain/Ice Cream scooper. When it comes to throwing scoops into fountain glasses, nobody makes 'em faster than Moxie can. As he likes to say, 'You can have it fast or you can have it good,' and since Barq is also the head of the complain department, he's never had any complaints. He's so fast that he doesn't even need the scoop, he just uses his hands to pull out a handful of ice cream, some sprinkles, spiders, or molten fudge, and boy-howdy, does he knows how to serve it up quick. 11. Mug - Line Orc - Dishwasher. Low man on the chain, Line orc Mug only took the job because that way he gets to eat any food that is on the plates that he washes. 12. Jones - Line Orc - Bus Boy. And even lower on the chain than Mug. Ex-dishwasher Jones broke so many dishes while washing them that he was demoted to bus boy, now he gets to carry the dishes back and only gets Mug's leftover. But at least he's not Motts. 13. Motts - Line Orc - Stock boy. When deliveries come in, Motts comes out. The oddball of the bunch Mott doesn't even like soda, but he enjoys hanging with the Jerkz, he's just glad to be part of the team. If the boys make it all the way he's been promised a day off. And what of their new coach? Soapy, a.k.a. Bingo, a.k.a. The Defendant, a.k.a. Beans, a.k.a. Pencil Neck, not much is yet known about this enigmatic leader of the Soda Jerkz, but rumors abound. Will this new coach have what it takes to lead this rag-tag bunch to the top of the Orca Cola tier 6 or will he fold like a cheap suit? Guess will find out once Season twenty (or as the boys call it, Season Ex-Ex) gets underway!

So for PONI, a res tournament where you get a random star then build a team around it, my draw this season was Ripper. Now, the SENSIBLE thing would be to build a solid orc team. But sensible is also a bit dull. Sensible isn't my strong suit. Goblins are bottom tier, so they get more TV and more skills! I mean, if you could add some fun skills to their positionals, what might that be? Ball and chain with MB and Block (possible though it costs 3 out of 9 skills)? Give me some fun suggestions! And there would be plenty of cash leftover for bribes. And you'd have three trolls, so can definitely give one strong arm just for TTM. I mean, THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES! So yeah, talk me out of it? (Or into it.)

Looking at the start of season 12 , i'm looking to start a team blog. I have never ever did something like this before and instead of talking about my existing occ team which played 4 seasons i'm starting a new team so i can blog from the start of the team. As English is not my native language i will try to do this as good as possible. i hope you guys enjoy this and that i can keep this up (very busy schedule. On a rainy evening in june , in the tavern that is located at hooirt 55 (read horde55) in a small orc town called Hamm between some big orc capitals called Vent (Gent) and Handthrowing (Antwerp), some big green fellows are having a secret meeting. They all are from different tribes and are toghether because they have 2 big weaknesses: Bloodbowl and smoking the good juice. After throwing out the curious gobbos , eating the waitress and harassing some players from the Hamse puiten they convinced (do or die) coach asiemoagelis (a puny little human who also smokes the good fluids) to train them to become the new blood bowl revelation'. They saw Asie coaching the lizards form the little leagues into tier 3 , where the last match day will decide if they win the divions or not. When the lizzies started they we're not much better as the giant toads found in every muddy pool in the realm. As orcs are da biggest and meanest they ar certain they can do even better and reach the highest divisions. But there are 2 big problems for this team , most of their tribes are at war with eachother , and they really don't have names that could be star player names. they have names like Grakk, blurp , uggh , ook-ook , Moshork , Nico the exiled (who was offspring from an orc mother and a slann mage) , and so on. None of their warlords would ever allow them to play togheter , let alone play with Nico. Asie had a splendid idea , why don't we name ourselves to our favourite smoking juices. And the warlords would never know they play bloodbowl as every day there is a brawl in any good orc encampment , and orcs are running around with wounds anyways or dissapear for days before returning. Dead orcs are found almost every week in the darkest spots. A big cheer was heard in the tavern , and after ordering another Ale and killing the inn keeper ,(most guests ran away anyway before the meeting) and the ones still in there establishment did not dare to go and speak to a warlord because who would believe a filty stunty or a dirty rat anyways. They also vauled to lay down dead team mates in their encampment or bring them to their encampment as a trophy so they get some fame over there and are not dishonnored in their own tribe as they went down fighting the enemy Let's meet the team. nr 1 :Uggh aka Hipster Gummy Bear a stone troll who spend his days , hunting down those cudly gummy bears , draining their fluids and smoking them in a big stone pipe. It's said it tastes like sweet, melted pigskin with honeydew on it. He's already in the team , even if they don't have a gobbo yet to toss downfield and who is responsible for filling up their pipes . He also decided the team's name , the biggest brute decides anyway and it seems he's not really stupid , only when he gets hit on the head too much. nr 2: Grakk aka Dictators lemonade , Blitzer nr 1 , as his nickname suggests he makes lemonade of dictators in the human kingdom , they are all limited editions and almost never available to the big public, but he is famous for the nucleair cocktail made from 2 well known and feared/mocked presidents thumb and kim young one, which tasted like tjernobyllian lemons with a dashy fresh aftertaste. nr3 Nico aka Sugar lips , blitzer nr 2 he got his name because he is trying to seduce woman (and other things) from any tribe . Being a mudblood , he is quite succesful with that , but he can't really stay long with any of his conquered victims . and the few willing to admit, they fell for him , tell his lips taste like a mix of strawberry , watermellon, kiwi and marshmellow, hence his sweet nickname. nr 4 Burps aka pink lemonade , blitzer nr 3 , what's to tell, he just loves pink things and especially if they are fizzy and sweet , as many halfling from the moot can't tell anymore. nr5 Schmurf aka raspberry truffle shuffle , blitzer nr 4 , don't get the wrong impression with his name. He likes picking raspberries digging up truffles to make his favorite smoke; but he uses anything that is passing by to do so and he shuffles it in the mix , pigs, gobbo's , humies and any filty thing that passes his path, the only thing he leaves alone are those nice white bunnies from the big wood. their fluffy tails give a nasty spitback when he smokes any mix that includes them. nr 6 ook-ook aka Fresh Squeeze , a black orc who likes a bottle off spiked orange juice in the morning with fresh squeezed oranges . but he has a bit of an eye problem ,forcing him to wear glasses , but on a bb pitch he refuses to wear them , often mistaking an opponent's head for an orange , squeezing the pulp out of it . nr 7 Moshork aka killberry yoghurt , black orc nr 2 . he is the vegetarien off the group , at least he says , he's only seeing to eat yoghurt in public , but the colour of it says it all , no berry can make any yoghurt so red as the one that mosh is eating, rumour says he got a complete snotling breeding pit in his rather large cavern , where he ferments fresh born snots in his favourite yoghurt snack. If he will ever be famous in bb , he will start his own yoghurt brand for vegetarians , at least he has the name right for that. nr 8 Blurp aka Green slush, black orc nr 3 , he is green , mean and is an ice cold killer. no wonder he called himself after shaved ice with lime taste. nr 9 Poppe aka Monster Melons black orc nr 4 , he likes his fruits, vegetables, meat and his womans big and round , you ever wonder where he get's the idea of his name? I certainly don't . But i guess certain body parts are forming his name rather than his diet. nr 10 Fluppe aka left handed penguin juice . the quarterback thrower of the team . For an orc he got an exceptionnal feeling with a ball , as the normal orc can't pick up a ball decently or even throw the damn thing in a specific direction , it is believed he got the left hand stolen from a penguin as it is so aerodynamic he could pick up and throw a ball on a single roll of a 3 . and fairly safe too with pass and sure hand(s), this is unseen for any orc, but this agility has costed him an armor value as his deformed hand can't put on a protective glove in his battle blood bowl uniform. and finally nr 11 Lakrids ake trophical typhoon , a lineman who believes he will be the next superstar for this team , confidence is not lacking on this guy he is fast , agile and strong in his mind , and he will score tazmanian devil style with a big whirlwind , so he believes , in reality he moves 5 , has only st 3 and agi 3 . but who are the Death to hipster gummy bears, to decline this young orc his dreams, who knows if he will be one day the big star of the orc team or another crazy orc that can be send into the thick of things or keeping guard of the troll to nor get really stupid too fast. I hope you guys enjoyed this read . and i Hope my team will be as succesfull as they believe they will be.

Cubbles: “Hello there viewers, I am Cubbles Greenhill; Ace Reporter for the Moot Whombler, Host of the Moot and Cubbles Reports, Gossipmonger of the Bloodblotter and now here--live from the training grounds of Great Green Heroes--to bring you…” Herovision! Cubbles: “I have been embedded in the young and upcoming Orc Team, the Great Green Heroes! Me and my trust camera-rodent, Meep Snivelscribbler--” Meep: “Hello, viewer-things, yes-yes! It is Meep, now audiovisual-rat! Found camera, fixed it, own it, legitimate, yes-yes!” Cubbles: “Get away from the front of the camera, Meep! Now, we’re going to be bringing you in-depth coverage of all Great Green Heroes matches, direct from the Great Green Dugout!” Meep: “Because Cubbles-thing lose commentators license, yes-yes, very sad…” Cubbles: “No, because reality TV is in I tell you, and we’re going to make millions! Anyway, you might ask, why Orcs?” Meep: “Because we are sell-outs, yes-yes?” Cubbles: “No, because Orcs are exciting and everyone loves them. Also it’s good branding, Orca Cola Championship, Orcs… it makes sense.” Voice off camera: “Boo! You suck! Orcz suck!” Cubbles: “...you’re an Orc, Chartreuse. You are an actual Orc Blitzer, and on the actual team.” Chartreuse: “Yeh, but Orc Gamez suck, not enuff speed and runny stuff!” Cubbles: “So why are you here, then?” Chartreuse: “Da Lizardboyz wouldn’t let me play wiv dem. I Iz Green, not blue.” Voice off camera: “Oi! Belt up, Charty-resse! An you, point dat camera dis way!” Cubbles: “Ah good, let me introduce the teams, owner, manager, coach and star blitzer, Captain Rok Ard! Captain, what would you like to say to your viewers?” Rok Ard: “I iz ROC ARD! An we iz da Great Green Heroes, and we iz gonna smash!” Cubbles: “...and what is your story?” Rok Ard: “I hear dat dis is championship for orcz! But dat orcz not winnnin’ it right now, only silly Vampz! Iz wrong, but I iz right, an I iz ROC ARD!” Cubbles: “Great. Lovely. Why couldn’t my cooking show have worked out instead of this… So, why don’t we meet the team?” Cubbles: “So first we have a strong looking Black Orc line-up. Walnut… Walnut: “Hullo!” Rok Ard: “Walnut did not understand where I wuz goin with da namin scheme.” Walnut: “I like Walnutz” Cubbles: “Mr. Lime…” Small Goblin: “Please only speak to Mr. Lime via me, his agent.” Cubbles: “Basil and Minty. Then we have the blitzers, Crocteef…. Named because you own a set of crocodile teeth?” Crocteef: “Yeh. I hope we fight lizards. I like lizard teef too.” Cubbles: “Shades… because--” Shadez: “I bet I iz da only orc ta think of wearin da shadez! I iz so cool!” Cubbles: “...and we’ve already met Rock Ard and Chartreuse. We have two linemen---” Wut: “Wut?” Cubbles: “What?” Uva Wut: “Wut?” Cubbles: “What?” Wut: “Wut?” Uva Wut: “Wut?” Cubbles: “...Fuck you both. Lastly, we have Parakeet. Parakeet, why did you become a thrower?” ROK ARD: “Cuz he lost at arm wrestlin’, an iz da weakest little orc, so he haz to carry da ball!” *Rest of the team laughing* Parakeet: “I show you all, I win at arm wrestlin next time, then I don’t have to carry ball any more! Stupid ball!” *Rest of the team laughing* Cubbles: “We really need to reconsider our options, Meep. I’m sure dwarves wouldn’t have been that bad…”

Placeholder post. Probably going to have various lists of silly things. There will be match reports.