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Sludge's Sneaky Gits


Captain Thorrek

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Starting a Journal about my WHQ Warband, and see how far it gets before the team wipes (hygiene was never their strong suit). Choosing an Ogre, Shadow Mage, Archmage, and Priest of Sigmar. Out of the four of them, I think the Priest or Archmage have the best chance. While the casting cost is ridiculous, Ward Save does come in handy.

Let's see how long this lot lasts! :D

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Day: 1

Dear Diary, Sludge is so happy about new shield. Shield is bright and shiny. Lots of spiders and dead people had shield. Now Sludge has shield. Sludge so happy with shield, Sludge almost had to eat friends to calm down. Told friends why, but friends sad now. Friends not know Sludge. Only Diary knows Sludge. That all for now, Diary. Bye-bye!

Love

Sludge

*****

Edit: Forgot to put what happened/rewards were received. All names are from Sludge's point of view. I don't care what the game thinks the names are, I'm naming them.

Sludge(Ogre): Shield of the Maw

Sourpuss(Priest of Sigmar):

Prettygirl(Archmage):

Weirdo(Shadow Mage): Pointy Hat

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Day: 2

Dear Diary

Sludge is so happy with Sludge's new shield Sourpuss got jealous. Sourpuss wanted shiny armor, and group found set do shiny Sourpuss almost smiled. Big spider guarded armor, but group have armor and tasty goblin snacks. Goblin snacks must be off, after, because after training Sludge made Sludge. That's why Sludge writing in privy, Diary.

Sludge sorry for torn pages.... Sludge emergency

Love

Sludge

*****

Gear:

Sourpuss: Blessed Plate Armour

Training:

Sludge: Thick Skull

Event: Plague, Halfling Medicine

Sludge: -1 Toughness

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Thanks for the feedback, guys! :D. I'm loving this new format; I have plenty of time to play one game, and write the results later. It's fun to think of a Fear causing model --like an Ogre-- lying on his stomach like a teenage girl and writing in his diary. I think if I keep using him as a bully model, and save the others for the important stuff, he might almost become mediocre! ;)

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Day: 4

Dear Diary,

Today, Weirdo and Sourpuss got into a fight over where group should go. Weirdo wanted a dress to match his pointy hat, and Sourpuss wanted hammer to be grumpy with. Weirdo whined more so Weirdo won.

At place, goblins looked tasty, but dead people showed up all the time. Weirdo was too weird for goblins, so goblins killed Weirdo. Only Weirdo would die to ruin fun for group trying to get Weirdo. a dress. So, group leave.

Group got new Weirdo, just as weird as old Weirdo, but no pointy hat. Since Sludge know best places, Sludge pick a place with head band for Sourpuss and belly plate for Sludge. Sludge still miss old Weirdo pointy hat. Gets hard to reach spots better than privy rag when old Weirdo slept.

Hoping for Prettygirl dress... and new pointy hat. Sludge sure Weirdo won't mind.

Love,

Sludge

*****

Gear:

Sourpuss: Worn Headband

Sludge: Banded Belly Plate, Helheart

Sludge no longer at -1T

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The key is loading up on scrolls, and the right accessories (Sludge loves his Rainbow Sprinkle Princess Show on Cabalvision). Sludge has a Ring. of Surer Striking, so he can finally hit something. Sourpuss has a Ring of Regen, so he's regenning 3hp a turn (keep in mind, he can still pray on a 0). ;) Prettygirl hasn't gotten anything yet, nor gained a level, but his Ward Save keeps him alive so when he can cast his ridiculous cost spells. As for Weirdo, even with the Staff of Volans (-1 Casting Cost), he's a terrible healer. He can sneak up to enemies though, throw shadow knives to soften them up, then swing and hope for the death blow. Out of all the Gits, I play Weirdo so sneaky, he gives seminars to hobgoblins! For a price, of course.

Sometimes it does get a little frustrating, but considering what I'm working with, it's a lot less aggravating than watching my usual team put themselves in a similar position... and should have easily handled three turns earlier.

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I don't want it to sound like they're competent even against snotlings starting out, though. In the previous dungeons, my Grey Wizard died, and the others only had a handful of HP's between them. So, I abandoned the dungeon and went for the Banded Belly Plate. They're finally coming together. The next entry is coming soon. :D

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Day: 3

 

Dear Diary,

 

Diary won't believe it, but Weirdo said 4 comes after 3, not other way.  How come Weirdo not know math?  I told him, if Sludge take a farmer, wife, and two snacks to put in cage, Sludge have to eat farmer since only three can fit.  Since only three left, three come after four.  Weirdo just gave Sludge an odd look.  Weirdo is a weirdo, thought Weirdo was smart enough to know math.

 

Anyway, Sludge found bounty on dead person.  Dead person fight hard, but Gits win in end.  Dead person was tough, but went down with good ale.  Good ale washes everything down.  Except salad.  Sludge hates salad.  Salad gives Sludge gas, and have to check breeches after.

 

Weirdo, Sludge, and Sourpuss all go to train, and Sludge got stronger, Weirdo heal better, and Sourpuss smiles less now.  Sludge know, hard to believe, but Sourpuss smiles less.  All stronger now than started, except Prettygirl.  Maybe Prettygirl too pretty for this.  Sludge ask Prettygirl why, and Prettygirl say time not right.

 

Prettygirl also say Prettygirl not a girl.  Sludge think Prettygirl confused.  Prettygirl so confused Sludge saw boy parts on Prettygirl when Prettygirl bathed.  Prettygirl confused, but Sludge say it Prettygirl's choice.

 

That's all time for now, Diary.  Other bounties to eat, but looking for treasure is best.

 

Love,

 

Sludge

 

*****

Skills List to come

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Day: Fist

Dear Diary,

Woke up with no memory, and tattoos all over self. Read tattoos to find out who writing to you. They are written all over. They say:

"Your name, Sludge. Write to Diary. Diary is a good friend."

Okay.

"Weirdo is a weirdo."

Found out who weirdo is.

"Ha, ha! Sludge put Tramp Stamp on you while you sleep."

Sludge gonna eat whoever did this!

"Prettygirl thinks Prettygirl is boy. Prettygirl got new sword."

Maybe Prettygirl and Weirdo same person.

"EAT MORE FIBER!!!!"

Don't tell Sludge what Sludge does!

"Ha, ha! We put Tramp Stamp on Sludge while he sleep!"

Stupid Sludge will never guess we do that.

"Group are friends. Don't eat group!"

Sludge hate bossy writer!

"We got new tattoo on back!"

Rainbow Sprinkle Princess! Sludge love who put tattoo there!

"Stop tattooing self, Sludge. Sludge is drunk! Go to sleep."

Sludge not remember drinking, but how can Sludge argue with tattoo? Sludge go to bed now.

Love,

Sludge

*****

I forgot Pretty girl gained a level, getting Arcana Unforgiving. The game forgot Sludge and Weirdo gaining a level. Both regained their levels, with Weirdo getting Finger of Life again. Sourpuss' new skill last adventure was getting Steel the Heart, which gives my group some much needed magical defense.

Gear wise, Prettygirl picked up The Blade of Leaping Gold. Only two levels left, before I need to worry about bucket kicking.

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I only saw a few minutes of the game, years ago when my brother played it. I still remember the Cube Hero gag to this day.

Don't worry, one of my Darkest Dungeon characters will be Cube Hero. While. I saw a couple of the PC's, I would have started a new game in a heartbeat if Cube Hero was playable. :D

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Day: Fist Holding Turkey Leg

Dear Diary,

Friends need better gear, so friends search around. People beg us to rescue this or that person. One village also tell us three different monsters eating their children, and want friends to stop monsters. Sludge looked at children left, and told village not to worry. Village should be proud children are so tasty; children looked tasty, and Sludge would be grateful if village would save a couple in case Sludge got hungry on way back. Village can't take praise, let Sludge tell Diary.

Anyway, Orc Boss guarded Hood Weirdo wanted. Ever since Weirdo put on Hood, Weirdo is even bigger weirdo. He tell people things, then walk away. Sludge talk to smartest people Sludge know, Ogres of course. Ogres say Weirdo is a weirdo, so will do more weirdo things when stronger.

Ogres also said weirdos taste funny, like talking salad. Sludge almost fought over insult, Weirdo is not talking salad. Sludge sure Weirdo is tasty, just need to give Weirdo time and chance. Ogres knew Sludge would react that way, so Ogres sat Sludge down and told Sludge at tea. Ogres said ogres didn't believe at first, either. Sometimes still try to erase bad memories, but ogres say ogres tell Sludge truth.

What if ogres are telling Sludge true? Weirdo is good friend. News will break Weirdo's heart. Talking salad is sad news no friend should tell, but such bad news should only be heard from friend. News is also kind Weirdo has right to know, deserves to know. After all, it affects Weirdo more than other friends.

Diary good friend to Sludge, how can Sludge tell Weirdo such horrible news? Diary? Diary? Okay, maybe Diary just thinking now. Sludge need to go, since there may be ogre helmet near village. If so, big day for Sludge!

Let Sludge know if Diary has idea on how to tell Weirdo.

Love,

Sludge

*****

Gear:

Weirdo; Hood of the Shadow Vestments

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