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  • 2 weeks later...

Lenoir’s Memoir: Season 10  - Part 1

 

It’s been a torment, lacking lustre, feeling dormant. Mind not on the game, feeling ashamed, no one else to blame.

 

There’s no denying it. Ever since signing up for the Bachelogrette, I’ve been meh on the field. All the blitzes for just three casualties in eight matches.  You want more detail? Sure. We had a chaos double header to start.

 

Disciples of Death @King Kill

Cautious defense until James made his first ever leaping sack, Jacko recovered the ball and handed it off to me, but that didn’t save either of us from the retribution. He got injured, I got knocked out, and we were lucky to not concede after they recovered the ball. Both teams were short a few players for the second half, we’d fouled a warrior out after it piled on. King Kross went dodge, dodge, gfi, dodge, gfi to sack Elvis, but James was able to fake them out then hand off to Bowie who ran it in. Too many bodies off the pitch, they equalized, 1-1 draw.

 

I made five hits before getting knocked out. Three pushes. Looking back, that was a portent. I was already distracted and missing hits. Then I stayed in the KO box for the rest of the game, dreaming of Lennifer. I don't know what was happening to me. 

 

The Damned United @MC Hammer

 

Started nicely, I knocked out a warrior with my first hit, stunned the tentacle mino with my second. Then the magic faded. My next three hits were pushes, and we weren’t doing anything to worry their ball carrier. Freddy and James got knocked out, and our defence was running out of options. The cage was a bit loose, so the wizard dropped a lightning bolt. Knocked out the warrior at the front, I sacked the ball carrier (finally not a push!), and Elvis scooped up the ball and threw it forwards into empty territory. He got badly hurt for that, and they pulled off a hand off/pass play in the final seconds to score. Who gave them license to do elf bullshit?

 

9vs11 in the second half. They perfect defenced our offensive drive, but at least Jimi got a pass to reach level 3, so that was nice, but it was pretty quickly 7vs11. I blitzed a hole (push again) and went upfield to receive the pass, but I was too far infield, within range of their safety. Around the screen he went, one dice, pow.  The ball ended up with Jimi, but I couldn’t blitz free to support him. Another push. Jacko provided a screen and got knocked out. Jimi got surrounded and the way forward covered. With no good options available, he went for it, but got tackled. They took the ball end to end again, we lost 2-0.

 

My summary? Fourteen hits, eight pushes. One casualty right at the end. The first game was not an unlucky fluke. I had a genuine problem, not helped by having to miss training to paint my coach's new house. Hanging out with Lennifer made me forget my on-field problems, but maybe that was part of overall problem.

 

Mob Rats @Bouffon

First time playing Morg in the OCC, what an honour. Thanks to Bouffon for replacing a quitter, and get excited about a fast paced, high scoring game. We blitzed but I only managed a push and the kick off was botched, giving them a touchback and us no advantage. Not only that, but we put Usher in harms way so I could blitz. He had only just returned from -AG injury and was immediately taken down and given -AV with a foul. Sorry bud. Same happened to Elvis – supported my second blitz, was targeted and badly hurt after I only managed a push. It’s not you. It’s me. I got mad. Knocked out a gutter runner, and something clicked. No more pushes for the rest of the match. Too bad the coach wasn’t feeling it, he waffled on the next play about whether to blitz with me or sack with James, and ended up doing neither, allowing them to score. Our response was a bit fumbly, but eventually Jimi took the ball over the line. We blitzed again, and this time the ball landed perfectly deep. Their thrower fumbled the pick-up, and James blitzed to score and give us the advantage at half time.

 

Second half started badly after James caught the kick off. We overcommitted trying to take down Morg on the LoS, then James fumbled his pass back to Bowie. Luckily a failed gfi kept the gutter runners from taking advantage, and we sent the ball up the left widezone, ironically back in James’ hands. 3-1 advantage. A little pitch invasion did very little, and they hustled in a quick touchdown. Bowie had been injured, so James took ball retrieval duties and sent it forwards via Jimi. The blitzer had got himself a casualty at the start of the drive, and backed that up by surviving two 1D sack attempts, sidestepping into the endzone on the second to score the sixth and final touchdown of the game.

 

I had to get my head in the game after some creative larceny and a nude photo shoot. What better way than against some Av7 rats? I hit better, no doubt. Twelve hits, only two pushes. But I still had no stopping power. Broke armour eight times, only two knock outs to show for it. Ridiculous. I did knock Morg down once, so at least I have that story for the grandkids.

 

1-1-1 after three games. Could have been worse, but could have been so much better. Like the gleam in Lennifer's eye that matched the gleam on the Oldheim gutplate. Swoon.

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Lenoir’s Memoir: Season 10  - Part 2

 

The mid-part of the season, a balanced offering of bash, hybrid and dash.

 

D’Orcs 2.0 @DakaMan

Our first foul on defence forced them to use their apothecary on a blitzer. Could I improve on that? Not immediately, my first blitz was, you know it, a push. However, I did eventually make a couple of KOs and miraculously, we were never outnumbered on that first drive. That allowed us to slow them right down, until their consistent hard marking allowed them to open a hole for a blitzer and a pass into the endzone. A touchback helped our chances of a quickfire reply, and Elvis took it up the sidezone while I made my third KO of the half and the rest of the team screened. For the third time in three games against bash teams, we got done by elf bullshit. Their thrower dodged into three tacklezones to sack Elvis. The ball went out of bounds, and they very nicely chucked it to James. His best option was a leap to get clear, but he suffered his first ever leap fail and the half ended. 

 

D'Orcs' deep bench was put to full use in the second half with three players unavailable, probably not a common occurrence against elves. We fed Elvis a pass to start the drive, then Bowie held the ball deep while we found away through. Eventually I made a hole in the centre, and we got three catchers into the backfield. Bowie lobbed it forward to James, he got sacked, but subsequently wrestled down the blitzer that claimed the ball. A scrum formed until Elvis won the ball and ran it to safety before scoring and reaching level 3. The kid is even faster now. Both teams went all out for the win. We kicked it deep, they were desperate enough to risk an interception by our chasing catchers, but the pass worked and a handoff later was deep in attack. We sacked the ball carrier, but the ball landed Jacko’s hands, who’d already been assisting the blitz. That meant no chance for Bowie to hurl it upfield to the waiting catchers, but Jacko survived the final blitz, denying the orcs a last chance to score, leaving it 1-1.

 

This was a tough, tense match, and I was finally proud of my contribution, no doubt inspired by the tales of extraordinary deeds that I had enjoyed this week, including the tale of Og-dor that I had great pleasure in re-telling.

 

Tikal Heart Openers @Karmai

Two games played, two crippling injuries to Usher, but we kept him on the squad for this game, against all the big lizards. They concentrated on protecting the ball early, leaving the krox exposed up front, so we took it down and administered the foul. No damage, red card, two players knocked out and the saurii enveloping the pack around the krox. Lenny got tripped by a saurus, leaving the rest of the team exposed. Bleak situation. They slowed down the play, fouling Jimi three times until he was knocked out and the ref accepted a bribe. Finally, a failed blitz by a saurus gave James the opportunity we needed. Leap, sack, ball free on the sideline. Freddie picked it up and passed it forward to me, but I got drilled by a lightning bolt. I got back up and kept going, but my screen got tackled before it could be formed. One saurus blitz later I was stunned, then the crowd was stunned by a skink long pass to a saurus, who caught the ball and scored. Not to be outdone, Elvis put his newfound sprinting skills to good use and scored a 1TTD to even the scores at half time.

 

A riot took some time off the game and Mick Jagger, our new rookie catcher, scored his first TD on a straightforward offense. We blitzed the kick off, Elvis and James sprinting upfield. James went down stunned on his last sprint, but Elvis caught the bouncing ball. Without James supporting, he was easy to sack, and the skinks eventually took the ball forward to a cage midfield. We marked up the cage and Freddie blitzed in via a skink but got knocked out for his efforts. Then the krox boneheaded, followed by a saurus failing a block. That left an open corner for me, and I earned a casualty on the ball carrier. Finally! Another skink recoverd  the ball, but Jimi was lurking and knocked it out. Their final skink grabbed the ball, but knocked itself out trying to go for extra distance. No more skinks on field, and finally we were able to pick the ball up and get it away to safety, this time Elvis scoring to make it 3-1.

 

We won, but it was another rubbish match for me. Ten hits, two knockdowns. The previous game had been a false dawn, and I have to admit, I was not in a good mental space. But I had to put on a brave face for Tiny Baby Ogre, and that was an excellent afternoon. There’s something about hanging out with children that can put your problems in perspective. This too shall pass. I can do it all. I can win the Bachelogrette and play good blood bowl. I can. I will.

 

Rågsved Rudeboys @razta

Usher was given his retirement package before this game, and the weather reflected our feelings at that - nothing like rain to dampen my newfound, Tiny Baby Ogre inspired enthusiasm. The Rudeboys won the toss and chose to kick, the first time we’d received this season. The kick off bounced to James, which was handy in the wet, but we did no damage. In return, they went on a injury and KO spree, one per turn. We got trapped in the widezone, leaving James with few good options. He went for the score, leaping over the line, dodging clear, then tripped over in the end zone. No high scoring shoot out for this game. Their thrower recovered the ball, I got one chance to sack him (push!) before they went end to end, making no mistakes despite the rain. At least all our KOs woke. The ball was kicked to a lineman on 5SPPs, who took the catch then fumbled the quick pass to a catcher. Classic. The ball was a hot potato in the wet, going through four players before Pharrell found himself in possession and ran clear to score, taking down a would-be sacker en route. A perfect defence ensured 1-1 at half time.

 

Second half and another perfect defence. Not that it mattered, as they reduced our numbers to nine and caged tightly. We did what we could, hitting and screening but they were in complete control, advancing steadily up the widezone. They stalled out the half, giving James several chances. The first was the best, he leapt past the screen and had a one-on-one sack near the endzone, but could only push.  The next required a leap and dodge in the endzone, with Freddie’s guard giving it a better chance. Wrestled, ball bounced to Freddie, but he couldn’t take the catch, and it bounced back to the Rudeboys. And still they stalled, giving James one last go, but his leap failed him this time, requiring the attention of the apothecary and leaving a clear path for them to score at last. Elvis could still equalise, and the Rudeboys set up a strong defense for that possibility. However, a riot changed the situation, the referee shifting the clock back. Elvis got into scoring range, ably screened, but Bowie just couldn’t pick up the ball with two attempts, consigning us to a 2-1 loss.

 

I contributed too little and too late to balance the scales against their power hitting. 13 hits, 8 knock downs, one KO and one casualty, both at the end of the game.  I wish Tiny Baby Ogre’s Tiny Baby wisdom had helped more, but nope. I was still in a funk. I need to try something new. I needed time away from the game.

 

2-2-2 after six games. Could have been worse, but that last loss hurt. There’s nothing quite so demoralising as being outbashed by another elf team. My season of mediocrity was perfectly mirroring the team’s fortunes.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Skin and Bones @swompy

 

Every elf team needs a kicker, and we finally got one. Tried kicking short, but it landed comfortably central for them. The game started out like my whole season. Both teams combined for nine hits, six knockdowns and just one stun. I provided two of the non-knockdowns, obviously. My third hit knocked out a zombie, but I was repaid for that success by getting knocked out and not waking up running away to the beach. That left it up to the rest of the team.

 

That’s about enough from Lenny. I’m taking over. Mick Jagger, at your service.

We defended, keeping their ball carrier mid pitch until it broke desperately for the sideline. Not wide enough. Freddie sprinted around the screen to assist, James leaped in and sacked the ghoul. All good until Elvis fumbled the ball into the crowd, who threw it back to the necros. They took the luck into the opposite widezone, but Jacko followed, dodging into two tacklezone and making the 1D sack. Clutch moves by the AG5. That left only a werewolf capable of scoring, but he fumbled the pick-up, matching Elvis’s earlier efforts. 0-0 at half time.

 

A quick snap started the planned quick offense perfectly. I got under the short kick and took the catch, Jimi blitzed the hole down the sideline, and the team escorted me forwards. A fireball was launched, but I escaped with barely a singe. James got knocked out, and that opened a hole, but the sacker couldn’t take me down. No, I was the only one preventing myself from scoring. All I had to do was blitz through, but I blocked. I dunno. Catching mindlessness from the zombies, maybe. That made things unnecessarily complicated. Elves were getting knocked out and our player deficit was becoming a problem. I got wrestled down and a werewolf ended up with the ball, deep in its defensive half. We piled into the scrum, surrounded the werewolf with the ball, and on the second sack attempt took him down. That allowed me to redeem myself and score. Phew. Our kicker had been injured in the first half, and we were clearly already relying on him. Touchback was not what we wanted right then. The final moments devolved into a battle between frenzy and sidestep in the widezones, but just like the first half we stopped their advance cold. They tried switching across field but had left it too late. 1-0, huge win over the only undefeated team in the division.

 

Personally, I got that vital second touchdown and I’m not ashamed to say I took some pointers from the ghoul that sacked me – wrestling is now my thing.

 

Stormheim Kings @Grufff

 

Back to your eggboi, Lenny. We kicked deep and we sent a couple of ball hunters after it, playing that high tempo, high pressure game. An unlucky ulfwerener came blitzing all alone, so we took it down then fouled it into the casualty box. Add a few knock outs, and the teams were down to nine players each pretty quickly. The Kings had avoided our ball hunters, but it all fell apart for them as they advanced into our half. A hand off was fumbled over the sideline and the ball landed deep in their defensive half. We established a screen for James, Mick sprinted to retrieve the ball and pass it to safety. They didn’t catch him, 1-0. The restart did not go well for the Kings. Pushing for a quick score, but the ball handling was again dicey, then a cage corner went down while sprinting. Ball carrier sacked, Bowie passes to James, the team does the screening and it’s 2-0 at half time.

 

James was now just one touchdown short of a hattrick and 51 SPPs, so he got priority. I created the hole, Bowie passed to James, the team escorted him through. The Kings salvaged some small amount of pride with their first casualty of the match, then laid a fatal blow on Freddie, but the apothecary saved his guard skill/bacon. Freddie returned to the reserves just in time to celebrate James’ hattrick. Up 3-0 and without an apothecary, we got careful and set up deep. Shouldn’t have, as we initiated a blitz play and couldn’t take full advantage. That’ll teach us. Anyway, a berserker didn’t pay attention to Freddie’s guard, and a frenzy push turned into a 1D block that went left the berserker face down before they’d even picked up the ball. So we did take full advantage and this time Elvis was given the responsibility. 4-0. Still plenty of time on the clock and they kept chewing through our linemen.

 

We were down to just Pharrell and JT. Both had dodge, but Pharrell was closer to reaching level 3. When the coach noticed that, he pulled Pharrell back and let JT take the next hit. JT got knocked out, Pharrell returned to being the primary meatshield, and was immediately killed. There’s a moral to that story, I think. RIP Pharrell. That left us with just six positionals on the field, just enough for three elf columns to prevent them scoring. Kudos to Mick Jagger, who twice blitzed their dodge/SS runner marking James, and used his new wrestling skill to take the marker down both times, freeing James up to easily score two of his TDs.

 

James’ got himself some tackling ability, just in time for a game against gnoblars. Cheeky.

 

Women with Attitude @C2MC

 

The Bachelogrette showdown. The climax. The drama and excitement. Well, pre-match, sure. Even the sun got overly excitable, shining much to brightly on the action and putting the ogre’s passing game at a disadvantage. We kicked deep and trapped the Ladies there. I provided completely useless at hurting gnoblars but did knock out an ogre. My season, in a nutshell. Anyway, they did a good job of protecting Lennifer and the ball, until finally Lennifer broke free to pass the ball forwards to a lurking gnoblar. Too bad it was sunny, the pass went way too long. I failed to hurt the intended receiver, but the rest of the team did it’s job, getting the ball into Jimi’s hands in the endzone. Jimi’s been stuck on 30SPPs for about four games, so it was nice to finally see him level up. 1-0. Not much time on the clock, and the threat of a lightning bolt inspired the ogres to go all out. One turn, one Lennifer gnoblar throw, one touchdown for White Dragon. That left the Thrust with plenty of time to score again, but the Ladies decided to mess up our usual 2-turn playbook with a blitz. They even got a gnoblar under the ball, but it landed on his head and badly hurt the little fella. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so insulted that a ball had managed what I could not. Bowie was laughing so much he nearly failed to pick up the ball, then definitely failed to stand out of blitzing range of the scrimmaging ogres. He got sacked, but no armour break and was able to recover and the ball made it upfield to Elvis. 2-1 at half time.

 

Enough blood bowl, more Bachelogrette! Dogbert was apparently upset that we weren’t letting the ogres win, so he kicked off a pitch invasion and took me out. Spent too much time focusing on me, and not on the fans he was inciting – most of them were on the Thrust’s side! Bowie kept being incompetent at picking up the ball, but eventually got it to Elvis so he could score and reached 31 SPPs. 3-1. The kick went too deep for the Ladies to try another immediate gnob-tossing play, so they held the ball as deep as they could with the gnoblars. We took the bait, but it was one too many sprints for James, and the blitz fell short. They got the ball into White Dragon’s hands, but Lennifer fumbled the throw, again affected by that nasty sunshine. That left White Dragon very badly exposed. James made the sack, the ball bounced into his hands, and he jogged away to safety. Ellen tried to take her rage out on me, but could only manage a stun. That wasn’t enough for the Ladies, and I got knocked out by the follow up foul. James handed off to Mick, he scored, we kicked off again, and the ogres hopes of a second touchdown increased as the bright sunshine finally diminished. Alas, Lennifer’s aim was off and White Dragon landed between Jacko and me - enough distraction to mess up his landing. I caught the bouncing ball and ran upfield for the final score, showboating all the way. I don’t understand why Lennifer wasn’t impressed by this. It was 5-1 and we hadn’t even used our wizard, so I directed the wizard to smite Lennifer. Surely that would leave her smitten! She didn’t like that joke. Weird.

 

Yeah, we won 5-1, but Dogbert won Lennifer’s heart.

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Season 11 Intro!

 

We're up to Division 3C, and it's got an interesting mix of bash, claw and dodge. Mostly dodge, so that's nice. Here are the teams, in fixture order for the Thrust.

 

:helf:  Gaiasekker - Ataraxia's Black Crows - High Elf – 1920 – 4C 6th

2x dump off catchers. +AV lineman. +ST/PO/-AV blitzer. Mass dodge. Superstar thrower with catch and leader. -ST catcher. No bench. The interesting skill and stat options here will make for an interesting game, but I think I have the edge due to my 4 tacklers.

 

:vamps:  jrpeart - Bat Losers - Vampire – 2090 – 3C 10th

Well-rounded vamp group, led by 2 superstars: blodge/pro/SS/tackle, supported by +ST, +AG, and passer. 4 wrestle thralls, including superstar sacker with -AV. This will be a fast paced game, we both have the skills to bust through defences easily, for sacks or scores. Just gotta pray to the bloodlust gods, right?

 

:underworld:  PositronMike - Skavespearean Royalty - Underworld – 1170 – 5B 1st

Great positionals for a 2- season team. Lots of clawed hitting power, one ball carrier, and they’ll be getting plenty of inducements. More glass cannon than norse. They're playing against chaos in MD2, here’s hoping they kill each other good. I’ll be relying on Lenny to win the blitz battle, and my other tacklers to neutralise their goblins maneuverability.

 

:lizard: Asiemoagelis - Hamse puiten - Lizardman – 1890 – 4B 2nd

All the big lizards have block, 5 MB, 5 guard, 3 tackle, krox has BT. 2SuF skinks, one with +MA, one with sprint. All the right skills to cause me problems and zero bloat. This is my least favourite match up of the season, even considering the dwarfs. Bloody lizards.

 

:lizard: FlyingTurtle - A Poultry Affair - Lizardman – 1370 – 4C 1st

Very different to the preceding team, much more to my liking. Minimal skills on the big lizards, but one +2AG/+MA skink. Blitz the skink!

 

:helf: Javelin - The Air Up There - High Elf – 1680 – 4C 5th

Blodge spam, including 3 with guard. Decent spread of skills, no stats. Solid team, but again my tacklers should be the difference.

 

:dwarf: MrBill - Local Heroes - Dwarf – 2040 – 3B 8th

102 games, 34-22-46. Played every season, mostly in division 2. Both runners are legendary, both slayers are superstar killers. Of course, I’m playing them at their home, so their deathroller will benefit from a free bribe. Game plan: win toss, score quickly, watch the bribe fail, exploit their lack of bench.

 

:necro: gnoccop - Compagni di Venture - Necromantic – 1620 – 2A 10th

Lots of fresh players tells the story. New golems, new WW, new ghoul, the team is rebuilding after a couple of tough seasons in Tier 2. Decent development of zombies, team lead by star WW and star wight, both with all normal skills and both with stat busts. Wight has 2(!) niggles and -AV, will be lucky to survive long enough for Lenny to have a shot at killing him off.

 

:chaos: MC Hammer - The Damned United - Chaos – 2010 – 4A 7th

Save the grudge match for last, this will be round 3, honours even so far. 3x +ST beasts gives them more strength than a lizard team. +AG/+MA warrior will be hard for anyone to stop. Couple of niggles to exploit, bit they have a deep bench. Will be interesting to see how the team has developed over the season.

 

:pelf:  Suido - P'Elvic Thrust - Elven Union – 1880 - 4C 3rd 

Three seasons in and I’ve only replaced 1 blitzer and 1 catcher. After the same number of games with the Bridgeburners, I had replaced 6 blitzers. Sure, I’ve been going through linemen quickly, but that’s to be expected. This charmed run will end at some point, but I’ll ride the lightning for as long as it lasts.

 

The blitzers are both nicely skilled and Jimi has added +AG in the off-season. Excellent potential for mischief, and mischief is what elf blitzers do best.

 

All four catchers have a role. Lenny was quiet last season, but that surely won’t last. Surely. Plenty of elves, stunties and thralls to pick on this season. James was outstanding last season, making critical leaping sacks to change games, and Mick is developing as a back up. Hurrah! Elvis made his first 1TTD, and now has sure feet rerolls as well.

 

Bowie has an annoying knack of failing to pick up the ball. I was sorely tempted to give him KoR, but opted for sure hands instead, so more rerolls can be saved for leaping and blocking, and he's more reliable in wet weather and tacklezones.

 

The team is very positional heavy. Add +AG Jacko and kicker Rick, that leaves very few expendables for the line of scrimmage, so I need to keep playing a deep bench. It’s nice to have that problem.

 

Here's the team pre-season:

Name Position Ma St Ag Av Value Spp Skills Injuries
1 Freddie Mercury Blitzer 7 3 4 8 180.000 41 Block.pngSideStep.pngTackle.pngGuard.pngDodge.png  
2 Jimi Hendrix 2 Blitzer 7 3 5 8 190.000 35 Block.pngSideStep.pngDodge.pngTackle.pngIncreaseAgility.png  
3 Mick Jagger 2 Catcher 8 3 4 7 120.000 10 Catch.pngNervesOfSteel.pngWrestle.png  
4 James Brown Catcher 9 3 4 7 190.000 51 Catch.pngNervesOfSteel.pngWrestle.pngIncreaseMovement.pngLeap.pngTackle.png  
5 Lenny Kravitz Catcher 8 3 4 7 190.000 64 Catch.pngNervesOfSteel.pngBlock.pngMightyBlow.pngTackle.pngDodge.png  
6 Elvis Presley Catcher 9 3 4 7 170.000 31 Catch.pngNervesOfSteel.pngIncreaseMovement.pngSprint.pngSureFeet.png  
7 David Bowie Thrower 6 3 4 7 140.000 31 Pass.pngAccurate.pngStrongArm.pngSureHands.png  
10 Justin Timberlake Lineman 6 3 4 7 80.000 7 Dodge.png  
11 Bruno Mars 2 Lineman 5 3 4 7 60.000 0   DecreaseMovement.png
12 Ricky Martin 3 Lineman 6 3 4 7 60.000 0    
13 Michael Jackson Lineman 6 3 5 7 120.000 21 IncreaseAgility.pngDodge.png  
16 Rick Astley 2 Lineman 6 3 4 7 80.000 10 Kick.png

 

 

The division has a lot of dodge, so the tackle happy teams will likely do well: Local Heroes and Hamse Puiten are the obvious benefactors, if Skavespearean Royalty don’t tear them to shreds, while Bat Losers and P’Elvic Thrust are the next tier tacklers.

 

Predictions:

1.       P’Elvic Thrust (obviously)

2.       Hamse Puiten

3.       Bat Losers

 

Most Cas+: Skavespearean Royalty

Most Cas-: Bat Losers (if self-inflicted Cas- were discounted, Skavespearean Royalty)

Most TDs: P’Elvic Thrust (obviously)

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

S11 MD1 vs Ataraxia Black Crows @gaiasekker

 

Game Result Page (spoiler alert!)

 

 

Subtitle: Hugging or Mugging

Welcome back to Studio Filthy Floor for an exciting season of individual match reports! They may not be on time, but they individual!

 

The first game saw the P’Elvic Thrust up against the Ataraxia Black Crows, a high elf outfit. Eager to get the season off in traditional style, the fans invaded the pitch, mildly interrupting the Crows’ offensive drive. The Crows put the ball in the hands of Erugoldur, their strength 4, pile-on blitzer, and the teams traded knockouts until Jimi got the first casualty of the season. Not content to just carry the ball, Erugoldur blitzed as well, opening himself up to one unsuccessful sack by James. Not content with the blitzing results, Erugoldur eventually piled on as well, for nothing better than a stun and dropping the ball in the process.

 

The ball was loose near the sideline, and the Thrust sent James leaping in to provide the essential assist. Lenny blitzed, forcing the Crows to use their apothecary and sending the ball bouncing into the crowd. No doubts about which team’s fan threw it forward to the waiting Jagger. 1-0.

 

The Crows were down on the scoreboard and down to 9 players. A casualty on the line of scrimmage and three catchers into attack signalled their intent, but the Thrust were piling on the pressure. Forced to throw a long bomb, their thrower overshot the target, and the Thrust went from end to end to score again via Lenny, Jacko and James. 2-0.

 

There was just enough time on the clock for Erugoldur to take out Jimi and bring the Thrust’s apothecary into action, ensuring Jimi could play out the game. The retaliatory foul did nothing but attract a red card, and the teams retreated to their dugouts.

 

The Crows only had 10 players for the second half, while the Thrust’s bench kept them at full strength despite missing two players. The high kick was caught by James, who followed Jagger up the pitch and handed off. The Crows chased but couldn’t stop the Thrust. 3-0.

 

The bad situation turned worse for the Crows when a catcher failed to hold on to the ball, then Erugoldur was tackled hard by Jagger, smashing his ankle. James sacked the ball carrier, and Jagger took the ball and ran. Lenny knocked out the only chaser able to keep up, and Jagger scored again. 4-0.

 

Feeling cocky, the Thrust surged forward again, but this time the Crows thrower found a receiver, and the rookie catcher took the ball deep, survived a blitz from Bowie and scored. Punishment for coaching hubris, not leaving more players back. 4-1.

 

One turn, one touchdown, Elvis is in the stadium. 5-1.

 

A few seconds left on the clock, just long enough for the Crows’ thrower to trip over while sprinting for a blitz and badly hurt himself. That’s a nuffling.

 

crow GIF

 

Huge win to start the season and good reason to start dreaming of the possibility of some colour of Football Award. My opponent suffered some horrendous dice in the second half, the margin shows that, but the game was already 3-0 and effectively over. Jagger’s three touchdowns got him to Lvl 3, and he gained Strip Ball to go with wrestle, and complement the rest of the team’s tackle. Not a lot of Sure Hands in the division, so it should get plenty of use.

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S11 MD2 vs Bat Losers @jrpeart

 

Game Result Page (spoiler alert!)

 

Subtitle: Batstreet Bat, Alright!

 

Don’t have a good record against vampires, haven’t quite figured out how to play them yet. This game will be a real test, the best developed vampire team I’ve faced to date. They’ve even got good thralls. Good enough that the Thrust were able to bring along a pet wizard and some Bloodweiser TonicTM.

 

The Losers won the toss and kicked short and wide. Ruthlessly highlighting Bowie’s short legs, the ball landed next to the sideline, ensuring the thrower couldn’t reach it without sprinting. The Thrust used a reroll on an early double skull, so opted to not have Bowie sprint for the ball. Instead Jagger was sent to retrieve it, but he failed the pick up and was left stranded on the sideline. That didn’t last long, Mannfred helpfully pushed him into the crowd. Lenny stunned the vampire in return, Bowie collected the ball and sent it forwards via James. Cyryl and Konrad followed, but their attempts to Gaze James’ escorts both failed, so Maxwell blitzed Freddie instead. This gave Lenny a chance to surf Konrad but he settled for an onfield knockout while James scored. 1-0

 

Konrad stayed out for the a-ha-ha count, but both teams were still fielding eleven players. The Thrust kicked deep, a bad decision given they also blitzed. Freddie led the chase, but the Losers were up to the task. Two thralls were involved in a high-pressure pass-handoff play to get the ball deep into attack. I didn’t learn my lesson from last game, not enough players back to defend against a fast attack. The Thrust reversed direction, but only enough to threaten a sack. The vampires cleared a path, and Rutkow evened the scores. 1-1.

 

Both teams still at eleven players, though the Thrust’s BWT was not proving as effective as advertised. The Losers kicked off again, and it was déjà vu on the kick off: same requirement for Bowie to sprint to reach the ball. Seems he should have taken kick-off return after all. This time he moved across to cover it, trusting his teammates to provide protection for a turn. Maxwell and Mannfred found their way through the line, marking Bowie and the ball, but they were unsupported. That gave the Thrust a chance to overpower the over-strength vampire, and they took it. They piled in, Lenny pushed Mannfred back and Bowie completed the surf. Elvis scooped up the ball from under Maxwell’s nose and, with nowhere safe to run (the price of surfing Mannfred), opted to sprint forwards.

 

Elvis was duly sacked by Cyryl, who used his pro skill to catch the bouncing ball. An interesting decision, as it meant the ball couldn’t then go anywhere. Instead the Losers screened Cyryl, a plan weakened by a failed bloodlust and a stunned thrall. Critical moments these - both teams capable of taking the lead before half time. A lightning bolt dispossessed Cyryl, but the ball went straight to the escorting thrall. That left it up to Freddie and Lenny to dodge through tacklezones for the sack, perfectly to plan until Lenny failed to pick up the loose ball.

 

The vampires played it safe, surrounding the ball and sending two receivers into range, daring the Thrust to risk it all. So they did. Lenny cleared a ‘path’ and Jimi did what AG5 does. Picked up the ball and fired off a throw to Elvis in the endzone, blatantly ignoring the tacklezones. 2-1.

 

The Thrust set up a deep line for the final moments of the first half, but the crowd and referee had other ideas. Riot and extra time added, and the Losers were a chance to equalise again. That chance ended when a vampire failed bloodlust and failed to end its turn next to a thrall, a basic positioning error, unusual to see from an experienced vampire team.

 

Both teams were probably surprised to still be fielding eleven for the second half, and the Thrust kicked deep again. The deep kick paid off as Amdis first fumbled a catch, then a pick up, then a bouncing ball catch, and Jagger stole it away for a quick defensive score. 3-1.

 

The Thrust kicked short and executed a perfect defence, but it had little effect. Amdis successfully picked up the ball this time, before passing across field to Konrad. No thralls in support, but that didn’t stop three vampires running the ball into attack. Not far enough, though. Some dodges and sprints provided assists so Lenny had 2D, he made the sack and the ball bounced into the crowd and was thrown back in over Lenny’s head. Not done, he sprinted back to claim it, then kept his feet when Ivan came a-blitzing, dodged away and handed the ball to Freddie. The Thrust were away again, and even played some silly buggers, passing the ball to Jacko in the hopes of gifting him a TD. Alas, he was sacked and stunned by a sprinting vampire, and Lenny got to do the honours, ending the game. 4-1.

 

In case you’re wondering why the crowd might have rioted - just before Jacko got sacked, a vampire badly hurt a thrall – the first casualty of the game. Too little, too late for the typical blood bowl fan.

 

Two games, nine touchdowns, two wins, no serious injuries. A dream start, long may it continue.

 

Image result for backstreet boys thrust gif

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5 hours ago, Suido said:

That chance ended when a vampire failed bloodlust and failed to end its turn next to a thrall, a basic positioning error, unusual to see from an experienced vampire team.

But not unusual to see from an incompetent coach like me.

It happens at least once a season.

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Awards

  • 3 months later...

Season 13 – Division 2A

Three chaos, two norse, one chorf, one human, three elves. It would be nice if the bashers took care of each other at the start of the season, but no such luck. The P’Elvic Thrust will have to face five killer teams in the first five rounds. Rigged!

 

Interesting spread of team experience – a few teams with 100+ games and four teams that have ascended from Tier 6 to Tier 2 in just three seasons, each earning a double promotion on the way.

 

:chaosdwarf: Pylon - Bleak House - Chaos Dwarf – 1860TV – 8th in 1B

An old foe that defeated the Bridgeburners back in Season 7. The stat monster centaur Carstone2 is now a Legend, and is accompanied by three Superstars, more stat boosts and a decent hobgoblin ball carrier. Will be short (ahahaha) one MNG chorf this match, and TVs are closely matched. Seven tacklers, six guards, five stat increase, four mighty blows, three stand firms, two +ST chorfs, one hell of a tough match up to start the season. Here’s to upsetting the milestone party for the Chorfs 100th game.

 

:chaos:  Stahlburg - [OCC] Deathbringers - Chaos – 1670TV – 7th in 1A

A team that’s been around since the beginning. Has taken some recent punishment in Tier 1, down to 10 rostered players, featuring an ugly assortment of permanent injuries, but two Legendary killer beastman are enough to destroy any team.

 

:norse:  Khornight - The MacLeods - Norse – 1940TV – 7th in 2A

An almost full roster of 15 players pushes the team value up, but only 5 players have more than one additional skill so far. A blodgestep/DT/guard runner will be interesting to see in action, basically a wannabe elf blitzer with less armour.

 

:chaos:  Zorgar - Os Brutalus - Chaos – 1620TV -5th in 3A

Two MNGs hide the fact that this is a nicely developed, ~2k TV team. Four blodgers are unusual, but that means fewer killing skills, which is nice. No ball handling skills either, even nicer. The least bashy of the first five games. Hurrah?

 

:chaos:  riffCannon - Los Natas - Chaos – 1810TV – 3rd in 3B

Enough niceties, back to the bad stuff. This team has reached Tier 2 in just their fourth season, rocketing up the ranks and packing a good spread and diversity of skills. As well as the obligatory two killer beastmen and guard warriors, there’s a leap/VLL/wrestle beast. Basically a wannabe James Brown with horns.

 

:delf:  Kubusta - BIOTRONIK ETRINSA - Dark Elf – 1630TV – 4th in 3C

Déjà vu – another team that’s reached Tier 2 in four seasons, another team with a leaping wrestler. This time it’s a witch elf, and there’s a couple of blitzers with stat increases as well. Let’s be honest – this game will probably be won by the team that best survives the previous five rounds. Interestingly, this will be the Thrust’s first game against dark elves.

 

:helf:  MAD_FROG - OCCs Supreme Power - High Elf – 1430TV – 2nd in 3C

Unlike high elves, which the Thrust have played about five times already. These high elves feature a MA10 catcher, a ST5 lineman and two guards. Much like the previous round, the winner of this game likely to be determined by the better survivor.

 

:human:  Aether Kuku - Ataraxia Buccaneers - Human – 1540TV – 6th in 2A

Two blitzers with strength increases and a wannabe pro elf catcher featuring NoS and diving catch. And that’s about it. Unsurprising for a human team fighting through the ranks, its clearly had some high turnover, and is the least well equipped to survive this division. No killers, no bench, only blodgers are the catchers… good luck to them, they’ll need it.

 

:norse:  Arkaini - [OCC] The True North - Norse – 1810TV – 1st in 3A

And finally, two superstars surrounded by a developing team. A killer berserker and an agile runner can win games, but they’ll want their second-tier players to step up if they gonna make it back to back division wins.

 

:pelf:  Suido - P'Elvic Thrust - Elven Union - 1780TV - 2nd in 3C (season 11)

 

Five seasons played, one season rested. Too bad Freddie’s MNG lasted the entire off-season, he’ll miss the first game and be back with AV7 after that. Has immunity to claw, at least.

 

The catcher cohort is healthy, long may that continue:

·         Lenny – MB, AG5, he can do whatever he wants

·         James – leaping ballhawk with full set of sacking skills

·         Elvis – OTTD specialist

·         Mick – James’ understudy

 

Only 11 players on the roster, leaves little room for error, but everyone rostered has at least one skill, and only two are lacking block or wrestle. Unlikely to be able to deepen the bench anytime soon – need to keep cash in the treasury in case positionals kick the bucket.

 

I have no illusions about this season – elves will die. However, the Thrust have all the skills that got them the Golden Football in Season 11, and it’s the scoreboard that decides the real winners.

 

Also, I have the most claw immunity in the division, so that’s gotta count for something, right?

 

Predictions:

 

1.       P’Elvic Thrust (obvs)

2.       Los Natas

3.       BIOTRONIK ETRINSA

 

Most Cas+: Bleak House

Most Cas-: Ataraxia Buccaneers

Most TDs: P’Elvic Thrust (obvs)

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  • 10 months later...

Surprise! I'm back!

 

Just to let you know that I've updated the first page of this blog with the latest information as I let the team retire.

 

Jimi 2 dying and Lenny 2 getting an AG bust this season were the final straws after three seasons of grinding to try and get the team back to being competitive.

 

Too many games where I didn't have the right skills to have a chance.

Too many second halfs played with too few players.

Too many journeymen. At least as many journeymen used as matches played. Possibly more.

 

To sign off, I leave you with a compilation of failed thrusts.

 

 

 

 

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