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Orc Wrestling Federation


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Welcome to the opening show.


Today we present to you a fine match between the  "The Jolly Giants" (ogres) and the "Orc Wrestling Federation".


In a surprise move we actually win the cointoss but elect to kick.


The ogres get right into it by causing a turnover on their 2nd block. We then retaliate and get some players downfield. Ogres go "duh" en massé. Orc "the Snake" Roberts and Macho Orc Randy Savage each gets their mitts on a snotling and crimps them and "the Snake" then later scores.


During the next drive André the very large orc (troll) gets injured but does a classical babyface recovery. We also manage to score again after the British Orcdog lobs off a pass to "the Snake" who scores on T8 and secures the teams first skillup!


Second half sees André getting KO'd rather swiftly and Orcozuna (black orc) score (he got it after a touchback and then lost it only to recover it again).


André recovers. We send down Orcozuna as our lone scoring threat but it isn't to be. With the very last block of the match André is injured again but seems to recover quickly.


Performer of the night: Orc "the Snake" Roberts, scoring twice and getting a cas for good measure

Flop of the night: André the very large orc for overselling the opponents hits.


Edit: After scrutinizing the video of the evening we have decided to award the Flop of the night to Orcimate Warrior.

He made 4 blocks in the game and got hit back 0 times. He still managed to get KO'd twice. That is actually worse.


Next week includes:


  • Medical staff
  • Guard on "the Snake"
  • Undead



Thank you @Shrek for a rather entertaining and surprising game, I wasn't expecting all that ogre dodging (or troll injuries for that matter).

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Match 3


It happened (after some minor rescheduling business)!


Opponent wins the cointoss and elects to kick with his rats.


In just about the dullest drive ever we score on T8 (after some fancy greed blocks, which actually payed off as Orcimate Warrior cas-ed the thrower). Safe cage, weak corner being protected at all times etc.  Scoring done by British Orcdog (thrower). 


So, then we set up to defend the one turner. Quick Snap + Ma10 GR = TD. Ah well.


The next half sees us start off with some really really bad blocking, followed by more bad blocking. The rats try to take advantage of this by punting the ball a short distance upfield. Thankfully one of the Black Orcs (they all look the same, honest!) manages two gfi's (eating the last re-roll) and nabs the ball!


He quickly gets marked by two gutter runners and on the next turn 2d uphill knocked over which leads to a skaven score on T14.



So, we get a quick snap (pretty useless) and start off by causing a turnover on one of the first blocks of the turn.

Ok, we still have two turns, it's possible to score (even if very unlikely). He knocks over most of the ma6 brigade. Hmm, issues.

Right, if André the very large orc can make a block (3d) and not cause a turnover, this should still be on. Really Stupid. Right, so a 1d blitz with the thrower then to clear the path for a black orc (yup, that desperate). Both down. Some consolation, a casuality.


Right, so we can't score. Vanity pass (success!), T16 foul just because? No, it needed a gfi.


Performer of the night: Grudgingly it has to be British Orcdog (despite causing at least two turnovers on blocks) with a TD and a casuality. No one else really did anything.

Flop of the match: André the very large orc I think he made one block in the game, had his armor broken on a 2d uphill block and went stupid twice. Not so excellent.


Next weeks show includes:


A slightly less slow British Orcdog (+Ma)

Goats (if memory serves)

Possibly a reserve (remains to be seen)

Hopefully a start on time and on the first attempt!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Match 4 got played yesterday.


Hornsgobbo has been bought and did a brief cameo on T8.


It was an impressive bonanza in stuns, some ko's (17 inflicted from the 3 games I've played) and a dead blitzer.

Million Dollar Orc has been replaced by Two Million Dollar Orc, hopefully twice as good (which should mean that he lasts the rest of the season).


We did score in the first half. The chaos lot decided not to score in the 2nd.

Our score you say? We had to blitz a dodge beastman holding the ball in his own endzone. A Pow later and a bounce to Honky Tonk Orc (standing in the endzone) and we went to half-time being 1-0 up.


Performer of the night: Honky Tonk Orc (scored the TD, and was the only one who actually "earned" spps)

Flop of the match: Million Dollar Orc. He died, despite the apos best efforts.


Next weeks show includes


Two Million Dollar Orc

Block on Orcozuna


A 1500 Thursday start.



Yes it's short, but really nothing happened apart from the TD and the dead blitzer.

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Match 5


Khemri on the menu, which isn't really our favourite.


I get to receive and about the only exciting thing that happens for the first few turns is that André is really really dumb, repeatedly.

After a little bit a skeleton gets rather brave and does a 1d block on André, skull cas no regen. Excellent!

This also means we can sneak around the edge rather safely and after some tense (read unnecessary stalling) moments Two Million Dollar Orc scores in his debut.


The 2nd half starts off with several orcs being carted off the field rather early. After that it's mainly a blitz each each turn and a very safe khemri advance. On T15 we do get fancy and try the 4+, 4+, 3+, 2+, 2+ 1d blitz on the ball carrier. 4+, 4+ no issue. 3+ need re-roll. Manage the two gfi's only to roll both down on a player with block. Ah well. So they score on T16.


We set up to do the 1ttd thing. The kick is too deep. So it's some blocks, a pass (successful) and a foul by André. 


End Result:


Score: 1-1 (Two Million Dollar Orc)

Cas: 1-3 (André the very large orc)

Pass: 1-1 (Nature Orc Ric Flair)

Red cards: 0-1


Performer of the night: Two Million Dollar Orc, the only one to do something meaningful during our own turn.

Flop of the match: André the very large orc, spent most of the game on his ass, and when not on his ass then it was scratch head time. Excellent!


The MVP went to Orcimate Warrior


Next week includes:


Block on Orcimate Warrior

+Ma on Nature Orc Ric Flair

No Honky Tonk Orc


Possibly another goblin (all I can afford)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Match 6


Angry Stoners, in the form of Underworld on the card.


They bring some fireworks.


We win the toss and the ball is kicked to a rather inconvenient place, edge of the pitch next to the middle. We make some very ineffective blocks and secure the ball. Their troll blitzes Orc Hogan, casuality. Next turn we keep being less than stellar and they blitz Hornsgobbo, casuality.


After a while we pull off a semi-sneaky play and look dead certain to score. However, there is a large red fireball which badly hurts the ball carrier (apod) and knocks another blitzer over. They then proceed to steal the ball and end up scoring on T8 after a fair amount of miracles. André made one block in the match, both down, both down, skull. At least it ended up being a ko on the opposing player.


Second half, they receive and we somehow survive the early turns (even if we do get knocked down, a lot). After a less than stellar play (sneaky goblins hiding) they look dead certain to score but then Nature Orc happens (3 dodges, 2 gfi's to 1d ko the ball carrier). Somehow the ball ends up in the hands of another of my players who survives the blitz. A few turns are then spent trying to free the ball carrier, which eventually succeeds. Too many rats are out of position so we rush towards the end zone and do manage to tie the game up on T16.


End Result

Score: 1-1 (Two Million Dollar Orc)

Cas: 0-2 (plus a fireball)

Pass: 0-1 (a goblin)


Performer of the night: Nature Orc Ric Flair, saved the game with a very elf-like blitz move.

Flop of the match: Orc Hogan. Not only did he fail to knock a goblin over on a 3d block, he also got a mng on the one hit he took.


Next Week includes:


Honky Tonk Orc

A lack of Orc Hogan

Side Step on Two Million Dollar Orc

Mighty Blow on Orc 'The Snake' Roberts

Chaos (who, with a game in hand, has made about 20 more casualities than us)

Possibly another lineman.


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I just watched the game before reading the match report, and Underworld certainly had the armor dice on their side all through the first half. I'm always happy to see UW get a lucky break, but then they chose not to prevent the (amazing) play by Nature Orc Ric Flair, which would've been accomplished by anyone taking one step in any direction... but hey, more exciting like this! Those +MA orcs are really being worth it, I'm glad to see.


Edited by Juriel
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  • 2 weeks later...

We welcome Bam Bam Bigelorc to the organisation.


Match 7 vs POMB Them All (chaos) without any actual piling on (not that it would have been needed).


They opt to receive and start doing damage right away. We steadily go down in numbers and they end up scoring on T8.

One turner attempt. Perfect Defense and a too deep kick spoils that.


2nd half with less players. Desperate flank attack fails and the chaos lot almost nabs a 2nd.


End Result:


TD: 0-1

Cas: 0-2

Ko: 2-5

Blocks: 43-34

Armor breaks: 4-15

Opponents block dice: Push: 11 Pow: 22 (to name the most obvious fun ones)



Performer of the night: Hornsgobbo. Stellar dodging (the only thing we did well) despite tackle around him.

Flop of the night: Macho Orc Randy Savage for getting injured and missing next game. It could be anyone here as no one did anything at all.


The MVP went to Two Million Dollar Orc


Next week:


Dark Elves

All Black Orcs

No Macho Orc Randy Savage

Most likely a lack of SPP for us again

Possibly a 3rd re-roll

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