MD4 - Niggle Pipsqueak

[Rymdkejsaren]

Season 2: Dumb Ways To Die

 

Noffer was a goblin who loved two things: Blood Bowl and squig sandwiches.

 

One day Bort the troll spoke the words Noffer had been waiting for all his career:

 

"Pucker up, pipsqueak, you'z goin' flyin'!"

 

Up Noffer went into the air, and down he went onto a black orc's head, knocking the orc out cold and breaking Noffer's back.

 

Noffer was carried off the pitch while the crowd chanted: "Pipsqueak, Pipsqueak!", having mistaken it for his name.

 

"You keep doing that," said Coach, "and you can have all the squig sandwiches you can eat!"

 

What a great deal! Over four seasons, Pipsqueak scored nine flying touchdowns, knocked out a dozen players, and ended a witch elf with death from above.

 

Pipsqueak also broke every possible part of his body. He fractured his skull (twice), smashed his knees, strained every muscle he had, got concussed on a regular basis, and lost most of his teeth.

"Noffer?" said Bort. "More like Niggle, amirite? Niggle Pipsqueak. HAHAHAH!"

 

And though losing his name made him a bit sad on the inside, on the outside he was the happiest little goblin. He was famous!

 

 

 

 

But Niggle Pipsqueak was wise, as goblins go, and after eighteen serious injuries, he figured Nuffle was trying to tell him something.

 

So he retired.

 

At the retirement party, there was a table stacked with squig sandwiches. Yum! When Niggle saw all the squiggly goodness he couldn't contain himself and charged towards it!

 

But he didn't see the one sneaky sandwich that had fallen off the table.

 

Niggle slipped on his retirement sandwich, and with all his niggles there wasn't much holding him together anymore. He broke like a vase. There was no saving him this time.

 

And thus ends the story of Niggle Pipsqueak and this episode of Dumb Ways To Die.

 

[C2MC]

Quote

And though losing his name made him a bit sad on the inside, on the outside he was the happiest little goblin.

 

I don't know what it is about this sentence, but it breaks my heart.

Poor Nobber.

[Rymdkejsaren]

Thanks! Yeah, I like the contrast between comedy and tragedy. They are always a hair's breadth apart. 

[Leman_X_Russ]

Poor Little Nobbler...but great Story. We all should eat a Sandwich Right now

[Rymdkejsaren]

15 minutes ago, Leman_X_Russ said:

Poor Little Nobbler...but great Story. We all should eat a Sandwich Right now

 

Thanks! If you like it, please upvote it.  

[Leman_X_Russ]

I did :-)