Popular Post Rymdkejsaren 2,066 Posted May 30, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 30, 2020 Season 2: Dumb Ways To Die Noffer was a goblin who loved two things: Blood Bowl and squig sandwiches. One day Bort the troll spoke the words Noffer had been waiting for all his career: "Pucker up, pipsqueak, you'z goin' flyin'!" Up Noffer went into the air, and down he went onto a black orc's head, knocking the orc out cold and breaking Noffer's back. Noffer was carried off the pitch while the crowd chanted: "Pipsqueak, Pipsqueak!", having mistaken it for his name. "You keep doing that," said Coach, "and you can have all the squig sandwiches you can eat!" What a great deal! Over four seasons, Pipsqueak scored nine flying touchdowns, knocked out a dozen players, and ended a witch elf with death from above. Pipsqueak also broke every possible part of his body. He fractured his skull (twice), smashed his knees, strained every muscle he had, got concussed on a regular basis, and lost most of his teeth. "Noffer?" said Bort. "More like Niggle, amirite? Niggle Pipsqueak. HAHAHAH!" And though losing his name made him a bit sad on the inside, on the outside he was the happiest little goblin. He was famous! But Niggle Pipsqueak was wise, as goblins go, and after eighteen serious injuries, he figured Nuffle was trying to tell him something. So he retired. At the retirement party, there was a table stacked with squig sandwiches. Yum! When Niggle saw all the squiggly goodness he couldn't contain himself and charged towards it! But he didn't see the one sneaky sandwich that had fallen off the table. Niggle slipped on his retirement sandwich, and with all his niggles there wasn't much holding him together anymore. He broke like a vase. There was no saving him this time. And thus ends the story of Niggle Pipsqueak and this episode of Dumb Ways To Die. 17 Quote Link to post Share on other sites Awards 2 3 2 3 2 2
C2MC 1,426 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Quote And though losing his name made him a bit sad on the inside, on the outside he was the happiest little goblin. I don't know what it is about this sentence, but it breaks my heart. Poor Nobber. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites Awards 4 3 6 2
Rymdkejsaren 2,066 Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 Thanks! Yeah, I like the contrast between comedy and tragedy. They are always a hair's breadth apart. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites Awards 2 3 2 3 2 2
Leman_X_Russ 31 Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 Poor Little Nobbler...but great Story. We all should eat a Sandwich Right now 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites Awards
Rymdkejsaren 2,066 Posted June 1, 2020 Author Share Posted June 1, 2020 15 minutes ago, Leman_X_Russ said: Poor Little Nobbler...but great Story. We all should eat a Sandwich Right now Thanks! If you like it, please upvote it. 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites Awards 2 3 2 3 2 2
Leman_X_Russ 31 Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 I did :-) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites Awards
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