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Hi. I'm CalciumCas. I've been playing BB since 2nd edition (circa 1990) and immediately fell in love with the mix of gridiron and fantasy with added chainsaws! With the advent of online gaming I found FUMBBL in 2007 and up until 2015 I racked up over 5000 games including 23000 fouls, which got me a reputation of being a below average yet dangerous player. Since 2015, it's been all about BB2, and recently I have joined a number of leagues (after resisting league play for years) including here, ReBBl and the SFL. I wish I'd joined leagues years ago..I love them! My 1st love is Bash, I'm all about the Blood in Blood Bowl and I will cheer just as loudly when one of my players gets smoked as I will when I add your star players skull to my collection! The ultimate honour in BB is to go out on the pitch.


I've probably been banned/suspensed/punished more than any other BB'er in history, and I deserved 99.9% of all of them...I am certainly doing better, but you know...work in progress & all that ;)


Up until now I've been posting my post game videos and analysis in the division chat, I've only just learned that I can do it here! I love the fluff behind BB, I love legacy teams along with all the peak and troughs of perpetual/semi perpetual play...There's nothing better than a team battling back from adversity and near destruction...and if there's one thing that's for sure in BB...




DISCLAIMER : I do tend to swear in my streams and my content is not to everyone's tastes, so please be aware of that before watching. Some like my content, many don't ;)


I did think about posting up past games but let's start on a high note with my game from the past week! 


Game link


Week 6 vs @Spydyr




Most of the time Blood Bowl is a cruel mistress, and up until today's game I've been kicked in the teeth in other leagues, but for some reason known only to Nuffle, my fate this season in the OCC is destined to be somewhat better than usual. 


Firstly I felt that I matched up well against Spydyr's lizardmen, despite his strength advantage (a ST5 AND a ST6 saurus?) his team roster spoke a thousand words, and most of those words were used to describe pain and suffering. His team has taken a kicking this season, and we've all been there so we can all relate to how tiring this can be...This is where I really didn't help. 


The game (by Spydyr's admission) went as expected, but I think he was being a bit bland with his observation...IT WENT BLOODY BRILLIANTLY FOR ME! Frankly I wish I had these kind of dice every week, my bash game was firing on all cylinders and my fouling game was off the charts, it felt like I was terrorising FUMBBL again circa 2007-2015! Whatever I stomped on I destroyed, and the ref was either a sado-masochist or too terrified to blow the whistle on my team. Spyder put good pressure on me when I over committed trying to bag that sweet sweet ST6 Saurus! Despite the pressure, I had literally removed everything I hit and the T8 score was easy. The 2nd half saw Spyder not quit as many coaches would have but actually manage to stall until T12 and score against the run of play, sadly for him he lacked the players to stop my winning TD drive late in the game, and I managed to gain a very nice skull in the process. 


Now most people know me, I show no mercy and I ask for none in return none either. I will rejoice in your best players demise and laugh just as hard when my favourite clawPOMBer get's crushed by a rock 2 friggin days ago in another league (I'm over it honest). When I have my foot on the throat of my opponent I do not lift my foot, I push down. I did in this game as well but instead of celebrating the death of that tooled up tackle POMB jump up Saurus I felt like Spydyr had taken enough of a kicking. I still chased down his remaining player with the intention of turning him into a nice handbag or a pair of cowboy boots but was almost relieved when he was just KO'd. 


I've known of Spydyr for quite a while, I think I'm correct in saying he's a FUMBBL veteran and I know of his BB credentials, he's a really good player. He's also (unlike me) a nice guy who takes the bad beats as well as anyone I know....And Nuffle only knows it was bad for him this game! He was classy in chat during the game and respect is due. 


I know that Spydyr's team was in Div 1 and is a well known team with a legacy. I love teams with a legacy, teams that have experienced highs and lows and I have a massive respect for the type of coach that sticks with a team through the peaks and troughs of league BB. I genuinely hope your team recovers and I hope to see you back in Div 1 soon. 


In the meantime POMB THEM ALL march onwards at the top of the division with another skull for the skull throne as they eye up next week's victi...oops I mean opponent James Cook and WooDoo Oceana!

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POMB Them all vs Woodoo Oceana (@james cook)

Game link


Elves. Bloody elves right? 


Gimme a stand up fight against a murder squad any day, at least you know what you're going to get! I guess the same applies to any competent/good elf coach, the tactics have been well established, and a lot of pure bash coaches struggle to make the adjustment between bash & elfball...So my hatred on elves is not based on anything other than my weakness to effectively deal with them ;) 


I wasn't particularly surprised when James took a wiz, even though it cost him the lion's share of his team's banked savings...Both of us needed a win here for different reasons, for me to maintain my unbeaten run and for him to get back in the top of the table mix while denting my hopes of taking the division title. I don't need to tell anyone how deadly a wizard is with elves, so I was a bit unhappy to see Gandalf stood at the side of the pitch! 


The game started with James winning the kick off and playing a picture perfect T1 quick score drive, I left my DP high & dry to a MB hit which didn't pay off for him (silly me). I responded with an early MNG, which may have killed any plans for the elves to stall, although I personally think a quick score then a wizard assisted defence into the 2-0 by half time was always the plan...


And I was right! T3 saw me get little from the LOS hits, although I managed to recover the ball from a deep kick and get into the centre of my own half. I was really surprised to then get bolted with what I thought was no real opportunity to recover the ball! James' Elves rushed the stunned ball carrier, but I was mindful to not leave the ball carrier alone, and with some scrambling I managed to cage up and wait for the inevitable cage diving nonsense you expect from elves...


It was at this point my opponents dice really dropped off a cliff. James really did roll a pile of crap from this point up until half time! The inevitable leap into my cage failed which gave me a golden fouling opportunity (warning...swearing in this link!) , and it allowed me consolidate my position and easily score to close out the half. I kept my shape and really gave the elves no opportunity to counter my drive. 


The 2nd half played out much the same as the 1st, with James rolling more snakes than Samuel L. Jackson faced on that plane. I was in total control, my 'Venga Bus' cage slowly advancing up the pitch, under no threat of being stopped...THEN...


I had probably one of my biggest brainfarts ever (warning, link has swearing in it) after I was busy yapping away about LRB4 (the good old days of BB) I utterly buggered up my own cage, giving the elves the opportunity to 1D my ball carrier...To my surprise James blitzed the WRONG PLAYER, which he admitted to in chat (and it was a POW!) This was a massive let off for me as I really did balls this turn up after played a rock solid game and if James had hit the right player then I could have been in real danger of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. 


I regained some semblance of normality and reformed my cage which James couldn't break (more crap dice!) and I scored on my T16 which was enough to clinch the win with nothing of note on the T16 restart. 


Honestly...You play 15 solid turns of BB and you turn your brain off for just one and run the risk of losing the whole game...Such is the difficulty of playing a good elf coach! James played solidly in the face of just awful dice, he literally couldn't even get near me let alone in a position to recover the ball, and the only opportunity he had? A self confessed brainfart...I can relate lol 

This win sees my team consolidate their position at the top of the league, and with only 2 games to go until the end of the season I am supremely confident in gaining promotion to Div 2 and I have one hand on the winner's trophy for this division! 

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Season 16 - Div 3A


Week 8 - POMB Them All vs Couronne Criossants @Kia Sidhe


game link




I can't help but think I was due a game like this, my season up to this game has been rather incredible, everything has worked and other than the odd bad turn I've had my way...That makes this no less frustrating! 


My opponent opted for a wiz, which is always a good option for faster teams, but I was ok with this, this meant that he couldn't afford babes and I fancied removing a few opposition players...I was wrong! The entire 1st half saw me dish out the square root of f**k all damage, the croissants actually outbashing me and gaining numerical supremacy on the pitch! They methodically moved towards my endzone, and I defended as well as I could, and my opponent gave me an opportunity to sack his ball carrier around T6, but my minotaur was not equal to the task. during the setup for this attempt, I made one of my few tactical errors in the game which allowed my opponent to reposition center field, but I don't think I would have stopped the score despite putting up a solid defence...But I did make my opponent score in T7, which gave me some hope for a 1st half equaliser. 


T7...9 v 11, and 2 turns for chaos to score. Tough at the best of times, but none the less I rushed 4 players into scoring positions and threw a decoy warrior on the far right which worked a charm, my opponent threw up the now classic 'Elfscreen' defence and took the CW bait, dealing with him but leaving a gaping hole which I was lucky enough to exploit (Nuffle saved his love for me) and the score was 1-1! Honestly? I thought my opponents elf screen was 'sub optimal' but I was very happy of course! 


Ok...Let's get this out of the way. I often share my opinions about the game re my level of play against my opponents. first and foremost, any opponent/reader is allowed to disagree with me, that's perfectly fine. If you are 'Offended' by my opinion, that's also fine, but bear in mind that my opinion is only within the confines of turns 1-16 of that particular game, and as such it isn't a slight on your entire BB career or you as a human being...I welcome discussion about my posts as I may well have missed something and lastly I will always, ALWAYS be as honest as possible in the reporting of my games (see below)


The 2nd half saw me down by one man thx to the extreme heat (always guaranteed to ruin one persons game!) but a really nice turn 9 LOS clearance levelled the playing field. MY opponent immediately responded by removing my DP (stupid me for putting him in danger) so I decided that any early score to go for the win was out of the question at this point, especially with my opponent still rocking a wizard. Down to 8 players, and probably tilted from the mediocre dice I was rolling in general I burned through my RR's faster than my kids demolish a chocolate cake, which is exceptionally stupid as it was almost exclusively on RR'ing failed blocks (Yes...I'm a noob), so down to 1 RR within 2 turns of the 2nd half...Duh. I decided to switch to the left following good pressure from my opponent, only for him to try and bolt me at the end of his 3rd turn with no hope of ball retrieval. I guess his plan was to bolt me, hopefully get a stun/removal and then use his higher speed to pressure me...Either way I was glad he did, even if the bolt hadn't have failed an end of turn wiz is frowned upon for good reason...And this highlighted why it's a bad idea. With the wiz out of the way I was able to cage up better but in T14 I formed a cage which I thought was tight...I quickly realised it wasn't! My opponent found a way to bust my cage open, and had the opportunity to 2D me but opted for a 1D and of course was rewarded with a POW, and even managed some elf bullshit with his AG4 to retrieve the ball! I scrambled like mad and hit his knight with 4D's, finding the POW with my last die. I failed the pickup, but the ball scattered safe enough to deny my opponent a victory, the win or the draw was in my own hands...And yes, nuffle said no. with no RR's and needing 2 GFI's to win in T16, (my GFI'ing ability is legendarily bad) I decided to throw a 2D block with my clawMB and yep...snakes! I take comfort in the fact that I was destined to fail the score but none the less it was stupid of me to do this. 


Prior to typing this, I felt that I had played better than my opponent, and said as much in game. Having watched it back, I now see that my opponents dice were not significantly better than mine, and I made as serious an error in offence as my opponent did, so I have revised my position as stated in the game...I played a loose game by my standards so a draw is probably at the minimum a fair result. Mistakes were made by both coaches, but that's BB right? 


It was a fun but frustrating game, but this draw keeps me top of the division and unbeaten this season, of which I'm exceptionally happy about. Good luck to Kia in the final game of the season, see you down the road mate! 





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  • 2 weeks later...



Week 9 - POMB Them All vs Lustrian Kites @Borke


Game link


No pressure on this game lol...


Going into week 9 my team is on top of division 3A with an unbeaten record of 5/3/0 - This season barring a few mishaps has been amazing, my dice have been great and even when I've been under threat of losing I've found a way to at least tie the game. A draw is enough here to take the division title...But although my head is saying 'Play for the draw' my heart is saying 'WIN CALCIUM WIN'


Before continuing a bit of context. My opponent's team, Pro Elves are languishing at the bottom of our division, so I wondered if this was a result of a really shitty season, the coach in question being 'Sub optimal' or a mix of the two. If I'm honest? I thought it might be about 50/50 without having researched it. Either way playing against elves and a wizard is always tricky and should never be taken lightly. 


Sure enough, I was playing against Gandalf as well as an induced lineman, the elves trying to counter the inevitable kicking that was coming their way. I won the toss, so unsurprisingly chose to receive. My 1st turn went as planned, then my opponent took his T1.


2 minutes 30 seconds. 2 minutes 30 seconds to decide on a 1D...a 1D POW no less. Needless to say I was more than happy on stream about this particular play and my 'Bad season/bad coach' barometer shifted somewhat to the latter (bear with this ok?) 


James 'Jesus' Jenks was doing what he has done all season, KO'ing and CAS'ing everything he hits, and with the increased strength, guard and my minotaur's tentacles I really was giving Borke no options whatsoever (see above paragraph) by his own admission! 


Over the last few weeks/couple of months I've felt like I've taken a real step up on the way I play BB, my team shape is much better and I'm finding a way to win even when the dice are not so kind, and this game was no exception, although my dice were behaving themselves. I was reducing Borke to 1D's and trying to avoid being locked down by my mino. I was getting lucky on removals (4 elves down by T4) but Borke was doing a really good job keeping his shape and frustrating my advance up the field despite the lack of players, so patience was key. 


I took a chance on T4, I decided to bait the wiz (accidentally) as well as foul his very attractive blitzer (which failed) so basically this was in hindsight the play of a shitter...The lightning bolt struck home but did not break armour, and his ball recovery options were not great, but again Borke showed his skill in pressuring, and actually managing to retrieve the ball, albeit with a journeyman lineman...Time to scramble! 


My mino has been amazing all season, and this game was no exception, I actually think he's taking counselling or therapy because he doesn't seem to have wild animal! He managed to base 2 key players and I managed to regain the ball with a large helping of 4+ elf catching bullshit by a chaos warrior. My 'Bad season/Bad coach' Barometer' shifted once again significantly to the former and even teetered towards 'Calcium...Lucker' 


Although I left it late, I managed to score and in stream I said I had made a meal of this half, but again after re-watching it I think Borke deserves a great deal of credit in defending the way he did, it really gave me problems and luck saw me score! If I was being hyper critical I think maybe Borke could have saved a RR for late on but I'm in no position to comment on less than 100% RR management! 


The 2nd half was a much easier affair, a draw secures the division title and I was confident I could hold him for a number of turns. At the start of the 2nd half I decided to turn myself into a meme regarding my defensive skills (I'm never living my egotism down there!) But the 2nd half went to plan, I kept my shape and stopped Borke doing anything by way of using my strength, guard and firepower, the mino keeping at least 2 players tied up in tentacles was also great. 


Borke had a bit of a disaster in the 2nd half including a mis-click which really cost him dearly. I had left an opening (yeah...nice defence shithead) but the mis-click made it far more difficult. Borke to his credit still broke through, albeit nowhere near as much as he would have hoped. He was pushing for an early score and a win, and I won't lie, I was a but nervous because at this moment I realised that at worst Borke was playing as well as me...Probably better! 


I'm such a genius in defence I utterly forgot about NERVES OF STEEL (as I said in stream...a real flaw in my game...BELLEND) and Borke's elves were away! At this point I went into full 'Shaft Elton John' mode but Saturday night did not prove to be alright for killing him ( I had to settle for KO'ing Robert Downey Junior) 


Once again Borke's RR management saw him without any following T12, and this made me feel a lot better about the T13 score. Elves equalising on T12/13 is horrible if they still have a decent number of players for any opposition. He reset with 10 elves, certainly about 7 more than I expected at this point in the game! A riot ensued which gave us more time, I don't really know who this benefited more, but I suspect it was me. Luckily Borke decided to not push into my half, although my shape (as ever) was such that this would have been difficult. I finally got an opening when the elves star player, ELTON JOHN decided to GFI and failed with Borke being out of RR's. I once again tried to stamp Elton John to death but failed and got sent off by the ref who was quite obviously a huge fan. 


An opportunity presented itself to score on T15, and my dice were equal to the task, and I even greed passed to skill up a beastman given that even if I had failed, the draw was secured...some late bullshit to secure my victory and the division title in style! I would like to give a big shout out to Borke, my barometer has now swung fully to the 'shit season' category...He played solid as f**k here and I think this was my most difficult game of the season...Well played mate and know that I am a fan and will follow your teams future exploits with interest! 




I am so happy I have secured my 2nd division title in 3 seasons of being in the OCC, and I get promotion to division 2 and one step closer to trading blows with the OCC big boys! 


I want to give a massive shout out to division 3A, all the coaches in it have been great, and a special shout out to @james cook who has been simply amazing with his fluff all season, I hope I share a division with him again in the future (although I think he's taking a summer break...enjoy!) - I have enjoyed this season more than any season in any other league (and I also love ReBBl/SFL!) and I can only hope my next season is half as good as this one! 


See you next season! 



Edited by Calcium
trim the post - lots of dead space at the bottom!
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It was a fun match, mate. I rewatched part of your stream later, and you are correct in your assessment that I play my Elves aggressively. In my opinion, that's the only way to play Pro Elves.


My season has been less than stellar, results-wise, but I had a lot of fun. I'll bounce back, no worries ;)

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  • 3 weeks later...





Game replay with commentary


NEW SEASON HYPE! Here we go then, a new season in the lofty halls of division 2, within touching distance of the top division and my personal goal of mixing it (and murdering) the big dogs! 


It's an interesting division I find myself in, upon 1st inspection I thought it was a total slaughterhouse, but as with most bash teams they appeared scarier than they actually were, and the longer I analysed the division the more I thought that the elves, Kislev and dorf teams could actually do well. Firstly though, I was up against one of the heavy hitters in the division, Hauptmann's Nurgle. I felt I matched up well against his team, he was missing a Beast Of Nurgle as well as having only one claw/MB to counter my teams firepower. 


The game...ARRRGGGGHHH! I had the kind of 1st half you dream of, I removed nearly everything I hit, albeit KO's (which would haunt me in the 2nd half) but I was in total control, making the Nurgle's score before T8 and giving me the opportunity to equalise then grind out a 2-1 win. It was at this moment I think complacency set in, I misjudged Hauptmann's beastmen's speed and some dice later punished me for my stupidity...That one was on me, no matter how fortunate my opponent was in getting the result to stop me score, I should have never given him the opportunity to do so...I'm a dick. 


The 2nd half saw all of Hauptmann's KO's come back and then he decided to go into beast mode, clearly the half time oranges had a bit more than added Vitamin-C in them! Facing early Removals and the fact I was still punishing myself for my dick move last half saw my bottle go and I did enough counter removals to stall out an 8 turn score and take the draw like the disgusting coward I am (this game). 


Make no mistake, given the 1st half dominance I had, I really feel like I should have won this game, but Nuffle has a way of disagreeing as well as my opponent really playing well, especially from the T6 reset...But I was the author of my own destiny here and I bollocksed it up big time...Oh and a further note to self, putting your ball carrier on the LOS for T16 is a really stupid idea! (it was him or the Mino tbf)


Respect to my opponent, as I said above he played well and did enough to decide that a 1-1 draw here was the best option...I still hate myself as I type this and I'm gonna slam my nuts in a door shortly. Every cloud though, my unbeaten run with this team continues, and it's one of the bashier teams down...Next week I face @Trunkhead's dark elves with an assassin who just carved up @Grufff's Necros! 


So this post is dedicated to my complacency and stupidity in this game, lessons learned, onwards and upwards! 

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