Turf Torpedoes

[Pidpad]

The long awaited return is upon us! Rejoice! 

 

Due to some quirk in time and space we've managed to bring back many of the old favourites.

 

Starting roster (no pictures as there's only one look for each of the positions).

 

1: Krukan (cowardly goblin)

2: Cateater John (who back in BB1 managed to survive 113 games, despite being a niggled Goblin. Only survivor from the starting lineup)

3: Nightstalker Jim (besides a cool name, never did anything and also a goblin)

4: Super Luigi (Star goblin of the Ukbbl franchise)

5: Happy (go lucky goblin)

6: Chainmail (almost as good as Cateater John, ended his career in BB1 as troll food)

8: Goffo (team captain and Goffest goblin)

10: Norbert 'Teargas' (Best Linerat in all the teams incarnations)

11: Tiny Snörsvans (the tiniest of the Snörsvans triplets)

13: Tossy Snörsvans (Likes throwing things, but not to goblins)

14: Blocky Snörsvans (Biggest of the Snörsvans triplets)

15; Karl Kalops (got 5 cas in his 2nd game ever in BB1, didn't last long though)

16; Donk 'Big Grin' Donkson (Easily outsmarted by rocks)

 

Apotechary: Benny the Butcher

 

The intention is to write a match report for each game and to include some statistics. There might also be a slight goblin bias and a strong dislike for trolls when selecting player and flop of the match.

 

Underworld is one of the few races that haven't been to the Championship yet (in both BB1 and BB2 combined) and while I'd like to get there I don't think it's very realistic, but hey lets aim high!

[Gallows Bait]

Braver man than I!

 

My time in OCC with Underworld back in the days of BB1 broke my heart.  Such a joy to build, such heartache to see decimated. 

[Pidpad]

There will be a slight delay in the first two reports as I'm away this week. Once I get home I'll try to do them some justice.

[Suido]

Outrageous.

 

 

 

[Pidpad]

As promised, but a bit late here we go.

 

Matchday 1

 

Opponent: Russian Cheddar, Skaven, Coached by AlexGus

 

No missing players (duh!).

 

They opt to receive.

 

Some knockdowns early and on Turn 2 Krukan gets sent off for a foul (ineffective). 

The rats in turn go for a quad skull blitz, putting them in a rather precarious position.

We do sack the ball carrier and the ball bounces to Blocky who nimbly catches it.

The rats then sack Blocky, knocking him out in the process but fail to recover the ball. Instead Tiny Snörsvans nabs the ball and runs off into the distance, unfortunately not far enough and gets sacked. In return we sack their ball carrier and scamper away too short a distance.

More sacking happens and on T6 the skaven actually manage to protect the ball carrier somewhat, deep in their own half.

Being rather ineffective we can't really do anything to stop them so they end up scoring on T8.

 

Our one-turn attempt is foiled by a combination of Perfect Defense and Tossy being inept at picking up the ball.

 

2nd Half.

 

Perfect Defense again. Arrg.

Anyhow.

Cateater John fouls (and stuns) the rat-ogre.

The skaven put some real pressure on Tossy, which we of course sort out by some strategic application of a boot to the face. Goffo fouls a linerat off the pitch (Ko).

Despite all this awesomeness Tossy gets sacked and drops the ball. The ball is in a fairly safe location though.

Norbert nabs the ball only to get sacked and a melee ensues. Tossy gets himself injured and then the Rat-Ogre knocks himself out on Goffo. This lets us set up Chainmail with the ball and secure him and we end up scoring on T16.

 

Their 1ttd attempt is foiled by a 3rd straight Perfect Defense.

 

End Result:

 

Score: 1-1 (Chainmail)

Cas: 0-1

Pass: 0-1

Ko: 4-1

Blocks: 40-41

 

Player of the match: Goffo. Best at fouling, bravely took out the Rat-Ogre.

Flop of the match: Krukan. Getting sent off on Turn 2 isn't ok. At least not without some return.

 

The MVP went to Norbert 'Teargas'

[Pidpad]

And MD2 while we're at it.

 

Opponent: Rock n Rolla, Orcs Coached by JaWalks.

 

Yet again no missing players.

 

They elect to receive and we start off by nailing the referee.

 

Donk gets fouled (ineffectively) and Nightstalker Jim pays the orcs back in the same fashion.

Super Luigi follows that up with a foul on turn 2, that the new referee spots (but mentioning what happened to the other referee smooths things over).

On T3 we manage to KO their troll but quickly follow that up with Nightstalker Jim getting himself hurt.

By T6 we are in a bad position and after some failed heroics the orcs can score unopposed. 

They curiously go for a hand-off to a black orc, which fails, and the ball bounces badly for them so Karl Kalops picks up the ball and makes a pass (both in a tackle zone) to Blocky who promptly fails to catch it.

The last orc turn of the first half sees the orc thrower knock himself out. We follow that up by clearing a path to the ball. All we need now is for Tossy to bomb the ball to a waiting goblin (in a tackle zone) and score. Tossy can't pick up the ball on T8 for the 2nd game running.

 

The 2nd half starts off with a barrage of rocks, both Norbert and one of the orc blitzers get stunned.

On T10 we expertly outflank the orcs. Donk tries his best to make a mess out of things and KO's himself and then we make a proper mess out of everything on T12, where we get Blocky injured and the orcs spend their bribe.

 

Minor issues to score (marked ball carrier which we can't blitz free) is neatly solved by Tiny Snörsvans who blitzes into the end zone and gets the ball handed to him. 1-0.

 

A Perfect Defense makes a mess out of the orc attack (that's 4 perfect defenses in 2 games). On T15 it looks sort of bad, but with a nice knockdown by Tossy and then Norbert finds the perfect square marking the ball carrier who can't realistically get any help at all.

The orcs do a lot of blocking, but before they can come as far as sorting out their marked ball carrier a black orc knocks himself over on Happy. We then knock down the only possible scoring threat and the ball carrier (only to make a hand-off attempt instead of a pass. Interface ahoy. I should know better).

 

End Result

 

Score: 1-0 (Tiny Snörsvans)

Cas: 0-2

Pass: 0-0

Ko: 3-2

Blocks: 29-51

Armor breaks: 3-15

 

Player of the Match: Tiny Snörsvans. He scored our winner.

Flop of the Match: Donk 'Big Grin' Donkson. He had a terrible game, including knocking himself out.

 

The MVP went to Karl Kalops.

 

We also hired Gösta Grävling (thrower). Maybe he is better at picking up balls off the ground on T8?

[Pidpad]

MD3

 

Opponent: Dreaming Abyss (Elf) coached by Fosters1

 

Still no one missing and by now that's somewhat surprising.

 

We won the toss and elected to kick and told the referee to ignore fouling (get the ref) this game.

 

The elves do elfy stuff and dodge past. Donk gets hungry and tries to eat Super Luigi, who escapes (just!) but lands on his face.

The elves then do proper elfy stuff and score. 0-1 T2. Hmm.

 

On our T2 Cateater John fouls an elf (BH) and we generally look solid. The elves do columns for a few turns and once we put some pressure on them things goes wrong. Karl Kalops gets badly hurt (apo fixed him) and as a followup to that Donk goes for a double skull.

Now it's a big big mess but as no elf can score we pile in to the mess. A significant number of 1d pows later we still fail to score.

 

0-1 at halftime. 

 

Karl Kalops, now back on the pitch again is out for blood and BH's a scrimmage elf, and on the following turn Tiny Snörsvans follows that up by doing the same on another one. Meanwhile Tossy Snörsvans gets in a bit of a pickle, holding the ball but being marked by annoying elves. He solves this by successfully stumbling away (I guess that's what you call it when someone dodges with the help of a reroll?) and gets a neat screen. On turn 12 he waltzes in, before all the previously stunned elves can do anything about things.

 

All the ko'd elves elect to continue napping, so 11 vs 6. That's too few elves and as a bonus they have(?) to burn their last re-roll on a double both down block. The lack of elves mean we can get hold of the ball and in the end Tossy can score on T16 and secure the win.

 

End Result

 

Score: 2-1 (Tossy Snörsvans x2)

Cas: 2-1 (Karl Kalops, Tiny Snörsvans)

Pass: 0-3

Ko: 4-1

Blocks: 37-27

Armor breaks: 17-2 (a fair amount of stomping happened)

 

Player of the Match: Tossy Snörsvans. Scoring twice in a 2-1 win is normally enough.

Flop of the Match: Goffo. 3 fouls, 2 stuns. That doesn't cut it.

 

The MVP went to Cateater John

 

No purchases planned for the forseeable future.

[Pidpad]

MD4

 

Opponent: tutankamon coming, Khemri coached by -Rock-

 

They win the toss and elect to kick.

 

We start off with a bit of a disaster: Perfect Defense.

So no proper attack plan. The early turns is a lot of scrambling left-right-left etc.

Around mid-half we go for a breakthrough, but get foiled. However, Gösta lobs a ball to Tiny, who dodges away only to fall and stun himself on a gfi.

The khemrites nab the ball. We try to mark the ball carrier but fail a gfi (with re-roll) to get there.

They rush off but fail a gfi (with re-roll) on T7 to leave the ball on the ground. A low percentage play is available but we don't even get close.

They can score somewhat easily, but burn their re-roll on a block and follow that up with a failed hand-off. 0-0 at halftime. Thankfully.

 

2nd half starts with Krukan getting flattened.

On T10 the khemri close ranks and mark up just about everyone, so Karl gets brave and pushes a tomb guardian out of the way (2d uphill style) and follows that up by marking the now somewhat alone ball carrier. Norbert also gets next to the ball carrier.

The khemrites temporarily solve that issue but Karl just dodges away and pushes the ball carrier. Cateater John does heroics and pushes another tomb guardian out of the way (yet again 2d uphill) leaving Blocky to hit the ball carrier, which he does well.

Then there's a big mess for quite a while but then the ball bounces sort of free (on the edge and only one tackle zone).

Norbert gets the ball, dodges away and dumps it towards the opposing end zone. The race is on!

The race gets rather short as we don't get too much done and khemri is excellent at getting the ball off the ground (but less so with handing off, which they fail on T15). With them being unable to score we try stuff but never get anywhere.

 

End Result

 

Score: 0-0

Cas: 2-6 (Karl Kalops x2)

Pass: 1-0 (Gösta Grävling)

KO: 0-4

Blocks: 20-57

Armor breaks: 9-15

 

Player of the match: Norbert 'Teargas'. That dump and chase play was bloody brilliant.

Flop of the match: Krukan. Didn't get to do anything. Even Donk (who got Ko'd on T4 without recovering) moved twice.

 

The MVP went to Cateater John.

 

We can report some losses.

 

Karl Kalops got his armor lowered and has been fired.

Goffo picked up a niggle, but is being kept for now.

 

New people:

 

Tackling Tim: Blitzer

Goffo Jr.: Goblin

[Pidpad]

MD5

 

Opponent: Thistle & Bramble Inc. , Wood Elves coached by Nimrood

 

First we unveil a "secret". Cateater John managed to get plus Ag after the last match. Quite awesome. Also really deserved with 2 mvps from 4 games.

 

We actually won the toss and elected to kick.

 

It gets a bit scrappy after a bit and Tackling Tim boinks the ball carrier forcing him to spill the ball. On the following turn Tiny Snörsvans does the same but to no avail. The elves manage to score. Loud grumbles among the crowd demands that Happy gets to play (Bevan spectating and demanding that his favourite player gets to play)

We then get a drive and manage to not pick up the ball due to blocking failure. The elves pressure us, we do sneaky things and set up two players to score. Cateater John dodges away and does 1d blitz to clear Norbert of his marker and Norbert skillfully catches the ball and jogs in to the endzone. 1-1 at halftime.

 

The second half has the elves do columns, but a failed dodge lets us through and with some nifty blitzing Tiny Snörsvans manages to score.

 

The elves then start their attempt to get another TD but after a turn or three they end up with their ball carrier on the sidelines. Cateater John bravely surges towards him and shoves him off the pitch. The ball scatters about as well as it could for us. Nightstalker Jim picks himself up from the ground, nabs the ball and runs over to Norbert and hands him the ball. Norbert then runs towards the endzone completely unchallenged. There's no elf that can stop him at all. Cateater John does get hit and will sit out next week though, but it was a worthy sacrifice.

 

On T16 Norbert scores to secure the win.

 

End Result

 

Score: 3-1 (Norbert 'Teargas' x2, Tiny Snörsvans)

Cas: 1-2 (Tiny Snörsvans)

Ko: 2-1

Blocks: 35-30

Armor Breaks: 11-5

Passes: 0-4

Red Cards: 1-0 (Krukan)

 

The MVP fittingly went to Cateater John

 

Star of the match was Cateater John. Two game winning 1d blitzes by him won us the game.

Flop of the match was Tackling Tim. 13 blocks for basically no return. That's a bit poor.

 

Cateater John will miss next game, but Goffo (and his niggle) returns.

 

Tiny Snörsvans picked up some wrestling skills and Norbert 'Teargas' managed to get better at dodging.

[Pidpad]

MD6

 

Opponent: Ra Ra Rasputin! Khemri coached by Littleshadow

 

We win the toss and elect to kick.

 

Perfect Defense (as per usual).

On our turn Donk manages to start off with a double skull and on the following turn he forgets what he's doing. As a result of that he deservedly gets fouled but the referee is like an eagle and sends the offending skeleton to the sin-bin!

The khemrites have advanced slowly and are around or just inside our half but on T4 we manage to hit the ball carrier, but can't get him down. As a result of this Tiny Snörsvans gets surfed a few turns later but on the upside we manage to keep them from scoring.

 

That's three halves against khemri teams where no one has scored so far. Impressive.

 

We set up in a somewhat stupid formation to do a quick flank and score move. That gets foiled by our constant companion Perfect Defense. So instead of going through on a flank, we opt for the less conventional option and go through the middle. A (bad) cage is created around Tossy. What happens is that Goffo is unmarked and we decide to make the risky play. If it pays off we should at least get a draw. Gösta moves forward and passes to Goffo but Goffo decides that he doesn't want to catch the ball. The khemri team gets the ball, but Tackling Tim swiftly knocks the ball carrier over (and a turn later ko's him as well for good measure). A melee between goblins and tomb guardians ensues. They can't handle the ball but they're so big and annoying they prevent us from doing that as well.

However, Norbert has slowly been making his way over to the action and gets involved. On turn 15 we get our chance after the khemri team has suffered a slightly early turnover. Norbert takes the chance and moves into two tackle zones, picks up the ball (using the last re-roll), dodges out and gives Goffo the ball. Goffo is off to the races and stops next to the end zone (needing a gfi, but no re-roll).

The khemrites desperately try to get a tomb guardian in contact with him but can't quite manage that so on the last turn of the game we score and win! It took 32 turns to score against khemri, but we finally did it (and we are yet to concede).

 

 

 

End Result

 

Score:1-0 (Goffo)

Cas: 0-3

Ko: 1-3

Blocks: 22-55

Armor Breaks: 7-10

Passes: 0-0

Red Cards: 0-1 

 

The MVP went to Tiny Snörsvans

 

Star of the match was Norbert 'Teargas'. That T15 pickup and handoff was absolutely game winning.

Flop of the match was Donk. Yet again he's not very helpful.

 

Krukan will miss next weeks game against Dwarfs (wise of him) but Cateater John returns to give us a chance of shenanigans.

 

No skills picked up. While we get results, we certainly don't get any SPPs.

[Littleshadow]

that +5 pick up makes me sad :(

 

[Pidpad]

With a re-roll (which I used) it's 55,5555% (granted, I had more stuff to do after that).

[Pidpad]

MD 7

 

Opponent: Popular Beards, Dwarfs. Coached by Gilliatt.

 

We give them some inducement and they go for Boomer (who ended up not throwing a single bomb, boo!).

 

They win the toss and elect to receive.

 

As per usual the kick-off result is Perfect Defense, because that's a thing we get a lot.

 

A fairly deep kick forces a bunch of dwarfs back and after a failed pickup we get a bunch of players downfield, so most of the action during the half is in the middle of the dwarf half. However, we do get a bit low on players after a while and the dwarfs can punch through and score on T8 (just!).

 

One turn attempt. The kick isn't too deep and goblin to goblin hand-off works. Donk temporarily forgets what he's doing but a re-roll fixes that and Cateater John goes flying but doesn't stick his landing in true Turf Torpedo style.

 

The second half has us stare menacingly at each other while I try to level a linerat. After spending two re-rolls to complete the pass I notice it's the wrong linerat I'm using to pass. Well worth it.

 

The staring match continues for a long time, but on T14 (I think) we've wasted enough time and go for the goblin toss again. This time Donk can't even propel Cateater John forward, but he does stick the landing. 

 

T15 we blitz through and put up a shoddy screen (lack of players again), however there's only one dwarf that doesn't have to dodge that can reach Cateater John. Unfortunately for us he does and after the reroll is spent on a gfi to get there the brave goblin goes down to the brutal and evil dwarf blocker. The ball bounces to Tiny Snörsvans who catches it in multiple tackle zones. To extract him Cateater John dodges twice (apparently once more than what was actually needed) to give Tiny a one die blitz (re-roll remaining). Pow! and we steal yet another result at the end of the game.

 

 

 

End Result

 

Score:1-1 (Tiny Snörsvans)

Cas: 0-4

Ko: 0-3

Blocks: 33-34

Armor Breaks: 4-12

Passes: 1-1 (Norbert 'Teargas')

Red Cards: 0-1 

 

Player of the match: Tiny Snörsvans. Decent blocking all game and stealing the draw at the end, getting a skillup as well.

Flop of the match: Cateater John. We really expect more from our star player.

 

The MVP went to Goffo who gets a skillup.

 

Tiny Snörsvans has grown a 2nd head while Goffo is decent at distracting referees.

 

Happy met an unfortunate end while keeping the opposing Troll Slayer busy and is now quite dead.

We'll also be missing a blitzer and a goblin for our next game against Ogres. Ogres with 4 block ogres to boot. Not excellent.

[Ratamo]

12 minutes ago, Pidpad said:

After spending two re-rolls to complete the pass I notice it's the wrong linerat I'm using to pass. Well worth it.

This made me laugh a bit as it completely relateable on my behalf

 

And still undefeated, n(o)ice!

[Pidpad]

14 hours ago, Ratamo said:

This made me laugh a bit as it completely relateable on my behalf

 

And still undefeated, n(o)ice!

 

It made me slightly annoyed, but when I scored the winner with the "correct" elf err, rat everything became really good.

[Pidpad]

Matchday 8

 

Opponent: Carnival of Rust I, Ogres coached by Regor.

They have no less than 4 ogres with block. Nuts.

 

The amount of blocks on the ogre team gives us a vast purse to spend on fun stuff.

We get: 

 

A Wizard

Skitter Stab-Stab

Bomber Dribblesnot

A bloodweiser Babe

 

They elect to receive and we get a blitz! This is excellent stuff!

Norbert parks himself under the ball (which is landing in a wide zone on the half-way line) and Tackling Tim is off to blitz a snotling, unfortunately he requires a gfi to get there and despite using a re-roll. Norbert catches the ball and gets flattened, but he spills the ball into the crowd and they throw it at Bomber Dribblesnot who catches it.

Bomber then hands it off to Skitter for safekeeping. Bombs and having the ball isn't the ideal combo.

 

While we rapidly have less and less players on the pitch, we still control the ball and Skitter makes a push forward, expertly screened by the remainder of the team.

Unfortunately Skitter can't dodge. A lone snotling manages to mark him and that's enough. Double ones. A snotling gets the ball but can't really get anywhere so all Skitter has to do to get at him with his dagger is dodge once. Another double one. Womp womp.

On the upside, the ogres can't score either, so 0-0 at half time.

 

Second half sees us having way less players but we get the ball.

Tossy tries to pass Skitter who manages to flub the catch (impressive).

 

Skitter then picks up the ball and we waste a bit of time in our own half before we go forward (down to about 4 players). Unfortunately Skitter gets flattened and we can't quite recover the ball after using a wizard on a snotling. So a lone snotling picks up the ball and there's nothing a lone, prone, stupid Donk can do. Ogres win 0-1.

 

 

End Result

 

Score:0-1 

Cas: 1-6 (Norbert 'Teargas')

Ko: 1-6

Blocks: 15-29

Armor Breaks: 5-21

Passes: 0-0

Red Cards: 0-1 

 

Player of the match: Tiny Snörsvans. Was the only player who actually did anything for most of the game.

Flop of the match: Skitter Stab-Stab. 4 ones in a row on dodges is impressive.

 

The MVP went to Super Luigi.

 

For next game the following players will be missing:

 

Goffo Jr.

Tiny Snörsvans

Tackling Tim

Tossy Snörsvans (contemplating retirement)

[Pidpad]

Matchday 9

 

First we will confirm that Tossy Snörsvans has retired. He has been replaced by Egon Ekorre.

 

Opponent: Meadtown Meteors, Bretonnians coached by OllieLolly.

Happy-fun-times stuff: Wizard, Skitter and Bomber

 

 

They elect to receive and we get a blitz. This should have been a warning sign. The only game we lost prior to this game was a game where we started with a blitz.

 

Predictably enough we manage a 1d blitz (assisting would have blocked skitter) skull re-roll skull.

 

They do bunch up tastily for a fireball, but we manage to resist (for a turn). On turn 2 it happens and 3 out of 5 targets go down. Skitter tries to stab the ball carrier. No effect. They do stuff but leaves themselves open for a Donk gfi blitz on the ball carrier. Donk goes stupid for the 3rd time in 4 turns. Damn it Donk!

 

Skitter spends the rest of the half being fouled by the sideline (and eventually getting ko'd).

They score on T8.

 

I can field 6 goblins, a thrower and Donk for the one turner. The kick is surprisingly nice, just behind my line of scrimmage guys.

Some ineffectual blocks later it's time for Goblin Airlines. Unfortunately the engine (Donk) seems to be out of fuel and tries to refuel by eating the goblin. The goblin scampers away safely. We finish up with a 1d blitz which ends with our player getting hurt. Excellent.

 

For 2nd half both Skitter and my Ko'd blitzer recover.

 

Cateater John tries a pass to Skitter but is inept.

After a turn or two they get some pressure and we do all kinds of heroics (not much tbh, 3+, 2+, 2+ 1d, 3+) setting up Skitter for a long pass. He opts for the fumble option (despite re-roll). From that point the brets do whatever they want (which includes yet more Skitter fouling on the sideline) and end up winning 2-0.

 

 

End Result:

 

Score: 0-2

Cas: 0-6

Ko: 0-5

Armor Breaks: 4-17

Passes: 0-1

Red Cards: 1-1 (Bomber Dribblesnot)

 

The MVP went to Cateater John (his 4th in 9 games)

 

Player of the match: There wasn't any! I'll go for the player who spent most time on the pitch and that's Goffo (despite his niggle). No, he did not finish the game on the pitch.

Flop of the match: Donk. Actively hindering us. Zero Spps in his first season. Impressive.

 

Some good news though. All 14 players are available for next match and Cateater John managed to roll double fives for his skillup. That's going to take some figuring out.

[Pidpad]

Season 18 (or 2 as we call it)

 

Matchday 1

 

Opponent: Flavoured Cemetary Treats, a Nercomantic team coached by Vaehnin.

 

We get some happy fun stuff, Bomber Dribblesnot and Skitter Stab-Stab

 

They win the toss and elect to receive.

Donk gets stunned (as per usual) and the deadites mill over to one side of the pitch. Bomber flings a bomb in, knocking over a zombie but missing out on the ball carrier. The following turn he follows that up with a bomb that knocks over two of our players and isn't even within a mile of any opponent.

The necro's decide that it's a good time to score, and do on turn 4.

 

Donk goes stupid, and the coach gives some really bad instructions (playing poorly) allowing a hit on the ball carrier. After a bit of a faff one of the werewolves manages to cas himself on Gösta Grävling and this leads to a fairly uncontested T8 score (and a skillup).

 

Not learning at all from my mistake on the previous drive, I do the same thing again (without Donk being stupid, so I can't even blame him). Egon Ekorre manages a pass to Norbert who scores (and skills up).

 

A right mess develops on the flank where the necro's are advancing. We tie them up somewhat well and eventually get the ball carrier down, only to have Cateater John get intercepted by a flesh golem, who dodges away only to get knocked over. Egon follows that up with a brilliant long bomb (after some coaxing, from the coach, failed animosity) to Goffo. Goffo then proceeds to fail a gfi to score and gets himself ko'd in the process.

 

 

End Result:

 

Score: 2-1 (Gösta Grävling, Norbert 'Teargas')

Cas: 3-1 (Tiny Snörsvans, Gösta Grävling, Egon Ekorre)

Ko: 0-0

Armor Breaks: 7-12

Passes: 2-0 (Egon Ekorre x2)

Red Cards: 1-0 (Bomber Dribblesnot)

 

The MVP went to Gösta Grävling (his 4th in 9 games)

 

Player of the match: Gösta Grävling. 10 Spp is rather a lot.

Flop of the match: Bomber Dribblesnot Exploding more rats than opponents is not ok

[Pidpad]

Season 18 MD2

 

Opponent: Agents of B.E.E.R. , a norse team coached by Kronk87

 

We get lots of goodies. Skitter, Wizard, Nobbla and a babe (partly funded by ourselves)

 

 

They win the toss and elect to receive.

 

The norsemen try to surf Blocky but we try to set up so we can surf them instead. Then stuff happens. They bunch up a bit on the other side from the surf action (that had a lot of players committed from both teams), A fireball is launched and amazingly enough none of the four poorly dressed men in the blast area goes down. There is a hint of a smell of burnt hair in the air. Right. Time to recover. Norbert kills a norseman and another one is pushed into Nobblas chainsaw getting him off as well. That is followed by Skitter running like a rat possessed and stabbing another norseman off the pitch (ko). So, in a turn where we manage to miss 4 targets with a fireball and roll a double skull we still remove 3 opponents. On the next turn we manage to sack the ball carrier which then is followed by a neat pass by Egon to Skitter, who of course drops it. The norse team gets a chance to recover, but they use a re-roll on a gfi and then double skull their block on Skitter. In a moment of greed we opt to let Egon get the ball instead of just having Skitter scoop and run away to safety. 

A melee ensues, moving slowly closer to their end zone and on T7 they do get the ball, but it's on an Ulfwerner who doesn't get anywhere after the Yethee manages a double skull. Skitter tries a stab, no success but then Egon comes barreling in knocking the wolfman over and with the ball in the end zone he can score. 

 

1-0 at half time. Excellent

 

The second half sees us score somewhat quickly to secure the game and the lucky one is Skitter.

Their drive is a bit of a mess, with them being low on re-rolls and rolling poorly. So we actually manage to steal the ball and score again. Skitter once again.

 

End Result:

 

Score: 3-0 (Egon Ekorre, Skitter x2)

Cas: 2-1 (Tiny Snörsvans, Norbert 'Teargas')

Ko: 2-4

Armor Breaks: 13-20

Passes: 0-0 

Red Cards: 3-0 (Nobbla, Super Luigi, Goffo)

 

The MVP went to Nightstalker Jim

 

Player of the match: Skitter. 2 TDs makes it very hard to look past him.

Flop of the match: Blocky Snörsvans. The only player to get injured (niggle to mng). The quality of our blitzers leave a lot to be asked.

 

Egon Ekorre gets a skillup which will be Block unless I manage to roll something fun.

 

 

[Pidpad]

Season 18 MD3

 

First rematch of the season (we will have a few more this season. 

It's  Dreaming Abyss (Elf) coached by Fosters1 again.

 

Happy fun menu: Skitter and a babe

 

They win the toss and elect to receive.

 

We start off with a 2-4 pitch invasion. (2 of his, 4 of mine, all on one flank). That makes it a rather easy score for the elves and they can even waste a bit of time doing so.

 

Our drive is a disaster. We don't get anywhere but at least don't concede a 2nd in the first half. Skitter manages to get injured as well. Boo.

 

2nd half.

 

We start off rather ineffectively, but follow that up with a couple of casualities (Donk and Tim get their first each) and a bold move into the opposing half. The ball carrier (Egon) is placed next to a prone elf as foul support. Of course this is the only foul in the match where we don't break armor. The elves crowd us and go for the obvious 1d blitz. Skull re-roll skull. Easy turn 12 score for us.

 

The elves then get back at us in two turns. Tim had a chance of intercepting the ball but didn't manage.

 

3 turns remaining and 1-2 down, as a bonus the elves get a blitz and manages to get to the ball. Goffo wacks the offending elf to the ko box, which is then followed by Egon going for a double 1 on the pickup. More issues!

The elves crowd the ball, but we have Cateater John, who picks up the ball in two tackle zones and tries to hand-off to Egon, another pair of ones. Uh oh.

 

The elves manage to get four tackle zones on the ball, which is bad. We manage to get rid of one. Then Cateater John nips in, picks it up in three tackle zones this time and yet again tries to hand it off to Egon. 1 re-roll something good enough. Egon rushes forward and makes a quick pass to Tim who manages to catch the ball and he can equalize on the last turn. Woop woop!

 

The elves can't realistically pull off a one turner, there's too few of them, so the match ends 2-2.

 

End Result:

 

Score: 2-2 (Egon Ekorrre, Tackling Tim)

Cas: 3-3 (Donk 'Big Grin' Donkson, Tackling Tim, Tiny Snörsvans)

Pass: 1-4 (Egon Ekorre)

Ko: 5-4

Armor breaks: 18-10

Blocks: 34-29

 

The MVP went to Tackling Tim

 

Player of the match: While he didn't do much, he did the important bits. Cateater John is a true hero.

Flop of the match: Gösta Grävling. Spending most of the game being Ko'd (3 failures).

 

Tackling Tim now knows how to hit hard.

[Pidpad]

Season 18 MD4

 

Opponent: .Black Widows. Amazons coached by Hobnail.

 

Happy fun stuff: Bomber Dribblesnot.

We also bought a new goblin (Noodles) before the game.

 

We opt to receive and bench Bomber. Shenanigans!

 

After some very inefficient blocks we head up on one flank. Predictably we get well screened and based by the amazons as anticipated. We then do a shuffle towards the middle and after one of our goblins gets a pow on the opposing blitzer we can even build a decent screen. That is however undone by a 5+ dodge into something good that stuns our thrower. We do manage to blitz with a thrower, pickup with a blitzer followed by a hand-off to Cateater John who scores.

 

The amazon drive then runs into a big problem: Bomber Dribblesnot being very accurate with his bombs. As a matter of fact, he pretty much stalls them out all by himself. We even bravely get to dump the ball deep into their half after some shenaningans.

 

1-0 at half-time

 

The 2nd half starts off rather horrible with 3 out of 3 los goblins getting removed (Donk was of course KO'd as per usual).

So going from 10v9 to 7v9 in a flash wasn't overly hot. The amazons then do a rather quick score and we don't get many back.

 

Flank attack again with Cateater John being the real threat. Things get well cramped. However, a blitz and a few dodges later Cateater John is in just one tackle zone and no one is able to intercept. The pass is successful, and with the help of a re-roll so is the catch.

Now he just needs 4 dodges and a gfi to score. Fails on the 3rd dodge (after using dodge on the first).

 

This means the amazons get a solid grip on the ball. Some key events take place on T15. Nightstalker Jím, the last remaining goblin gets fouled and gets KO'd. The apo has to fix him (as we have the last turn) and does. Then Tiny does silly things (5+, 4+, 3+ dodge, Pow) to stun the ball carrier. Unfortunately for us the amazons manage to pick up the ball (sure hands), pass and catch it for the score.

 

Donk recovers. Brining the amount of players we can field to 4. Just enough.

Touchback! Solve a lot of problems. The blitz goes well (sort of, push, but it's enough).

Donk then grabs the just rescued Nightstalker Jim and proceeds to eat him (1 always hungry, 1 loner, 1 squirm).

 

Game Over (especially for Nightstalker Jim)

 

End Result:

 

Score: 1-2 (Cateater John)

Cas: 0-2

Pass: 1-3 (Egon Ekorre)

Ko: 4-6

Armor breaks: 12-18

Blocks: 32-34

Red Cards: 3-2 (Goffo, Bomber Dribblesnot, Goffo Jr)

 

The MVP went to Tiny Snörsvans

 

Player of the match: Bomber Dribblesnot. I have never seen such accurate (but still inaccurate) bombs.

Flop of the match: Donk 'Big Grin' Donkson. Eating goblins isn't ok. Still.

[Hobnail]

\0/ \0/ \0/

 

It took more than 50 seasons, but I finally beat Pidpad 

Edited November 10, 2020 by Hobnail

[Pidpad]

Season 18 MD 5

 

Opponent: The OCC Hools, some goblins coached by Breschdleng.

 

They get to bring a bribe and Ripper and elect to receive.

 

Their first turn isn't very spectacular, they even manage to get a goblin sent off.

We follow that up by causing a casuality but unfortunately the rat behind that got ko'd right after.

We get some rather heavy pressure on the goblins and eventually they have to capitulate and leave their ball carrier somewhat unprotected, so Norbert sacks him. After a big melee where Infinite Mess, another new goblin, fouls and kills their chainsaw.

Eventually we can get the ball into their endzone on T6.

 

They set up for goblin airlines. We send some hopefuls downfield. Goblin airlines fail spectacularly so Egon can easily get the now completely free ball and pass it to Infinite Mess (interception chance failed) scores. 2-0 at half time and they are out of secret weapons.

 

So now we're supposed to mount an offense of our own? Much harder! The ball starts further from their end zone.

After Egon misses a pass a big mess happens. Players get removed, balls get fumbled about and eventually Norbert scores.

 

Then we get a blizzard, preventing anything fun really. Both teams go for quick scores and fail. The goblins were closest though but fell to the blizzard on the first of two gfi's.

 

End Result

 

Score: 3-0 (Blocky Snörsvans, Infinite Mess, Norbert 'Teargas')

Cas: 2-4 (Tackling Timx2)

Pass: 1-0 (Egon Ekorre)

Ko: 3-3

Armor breaks: 10-15

Blocks: 26-40

Red Cards: 0-2 

 

The MVP went to Krukan

 

Player of the match: Infinite Mess. A TD and a kill by foul in his debut. This guy shows promise.

Flop of the match: Donk 'Big Grin' Donkson. Spending most of the game on the ground and when called upon forgot what to do. Business as usual in other words.

[Pidpad]

Season 18 MD6

 

Opponent: Ra Ra Rasputin, still the same Khemri team coached by littleshadow (last meeting 1-0 to us,  scored on T16)

 

Happy fun toolbox: Bomber Dribblesnot and a Babe

 

We win the toss and elect to kick.

 

Donk gets ko'd on a foul on T1. Bomber is spreading bombs all across the pitch (accurately so as well) but they're all duds!

The khemrites advance up a flank after a brief bomb related mishap, but underestimate how brave/foolish goblins can be. Bomber takes away an assist and then Krukan dives into the sideline cage and surfs the ball carrier. Unfortunately the ball doesn't end up anywhere useful and we run out of players so they get to score on T8.

 

Donk returns for the 1ttd attempt and tries to eat the goblin (who gets away this time). Bad Donk.

 

Our 2nd half drive starts with the khemri team getting a blitz, thankfully a few passes sees us out of the main trouble and after surviving a few one die hits Norbert scores on T12.

 

Turns out we outnumber them 11 to 9 for the next drive, which they promptly fix to 10 to 9. Donk continues to be useless and dumb.

The games last re-roll is spent on T14 by the khemri team, skull both down into double skull. That gives us a chance to clear the ball (which we don't really) but we position us well enough that if they don't get a very good round of blocking in we are in a good position. They get another double skull. Cateater John nabs the ball and runs off to score on t16. 

 

On their last turn Donk gets hit and almost dies out of shame. The apo talks some sense into him and he is still with us (unfortunately?).

 

For fun we then spent the winnings on a stadium upgrade (200k one).

 

End Result

 

Score: 2-1 (Norbert 'Teargas', Cateater John)

Cas: 1-2 (Norbert 'Teargas')

Pass: 2-1 (Gösta Grävling, Tiny Snörsvans)

Ko: 2-2

Armor breaks: 7-15

Blocks: 24-46

Red Cards: 1-1 

 

The MVP went to Goffo Jr.

 

Player of the match: Cateater John, for stealing the win. Stiff competition from Norbert though.

Flop of the match: Donk 'Big Grin' Donkson. Being ko'd for the first 7 turns then trying to eat a goblin. In the second half there was the usual combination of being dumb and ineffective.

[Doomy77]

Have you ever had a big guy who was actually useful?