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GobIins - a khemri team blog


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As you all probably figured out from the title, this is a team blog about my high elf team "GobIins".


And what better start then to actually play against goblins in the first match for the team?

Not sure what happened really, but picking up the ball and passing it around was extremely easy. Not at all hard. I dont understand why all the thro-ras are complaining? JUST DO IT (copyright Adidas).


We tried to block and blitz stuff, did a KO on the looney. Other than that, not really. Wasted a reroll to surf a goblin (not worth it (who am I kidding? TOTALLY worth it)). Failed the blitz to score with the ball carrier. Goblins took the ball and things looked dark.

But we actually managed to take it back, do another of these so called 'passes' and score. Easy as a eating humble pie.


The ref sucked. 2 out of 3 bribes failed. What a bastard! Will def hire him again for future games.

The goblins advanced. Slowly. We tried to stop them. For a while we outflanked them on their on half, more of my team there than goblins.

In the end we did a dodge (we have heard it is hard, but not THAT hard), and knock the ball loose. Another goblin catched it. But he ran and stood on the sideline. So we did a surf, another pass (feels a bit strange to write it) and everything was baking soda.


At this point our thrower (shouldnt it be thro-ra?) had made 4(!!!!) of these passes so we failed to set up for a 3d blitz and went for the 2d. First CAS for my team! And level up for the thrower.


The lucky lineman that catched the ball and scored the 2-0 got MVP. That is skilled!


Thrower got sure hands (thought they started with sure hands, so better pick it early) to make these 4+ pick ups easier.

Line got +ST. He is on a diet of broccoli and nothing else.

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It was matchday 2. Facing off some undead, not as good old khemri but at least family.


Since this pass thingy worked in the first game we continued to try it and got a level on a catcher in the first turn (its still very easy!).

The undead had gone for a bribe but got sent off anyway, so we had a numerical advantage in players from quite early on.

We did some moving, some blitzing, trying this move quick from side to side. In the end when we decided to score, we did a cas on a ghoul and a ko on a zombie. Finally some good khemri removals!


The second drive started and we had some removals on our team thanks to the mummies. Put some pressure on the ball. Since we are old and cant really remember everything we have some issues of the correct event here. But we ended up with the ball and could score our second TD. As using a chocolate teapot for the dessert tea., yum yum!


Second half started. We had some removals on us, again thanks to the mummies. After some halfhearted try on the ball we decided that we could let the undead score. How bad could it get?

So after the undead scored 2-1 we had 3 turns for a td. Not impossible but not easy peasy with the famous khemri spead. But we did some... doubtful choices and things went smoothly in the wrong direction. So instead of scoring we ended the match as we started it, but passing. Still easy. 


Got a level on a catcher (not sure when khemri got catchers but whatever), and took some dodge. Ended up with 15 spp, so the player that did a pass to level up needs a pass to level up.


Also, betted all our money on a win for us so that @Ratamobetter pay up!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Matchday 3 against some chaos.


Since we needed a pass to level up a catcher we did that. Still cant understand this 'khemri cant pass'-thing people say. Its really easy!

Stuff happened and it was mostly not so good. But we did a cas. Thats good. In the end, we managed to take back the ball and score. Didnt look like that for quite a while tba.

Then the chaos managed to score before the half ended. We did have a slight chance of also scoring but nope.


In second half a failed pick up made things interesting as we advanced on the ball. Was a bit flowing for a while but we took off with the ball and another touchdown. In the end we managed to do this again. And again, and again, and again, but not all of those agains. So it ended with a 3-1 win.


So far 3 wins out of 3. Im not gonna jinx myself by saying perfect season here we come, so perfect season here we come! *chew chew*


Level on a blitzer that got dodge.

Level on the catcher that got wrestle.


Next week we are playing nurgle.


Oh! I also did 2 fouls! Yay \o/

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Matchday 4 against nurgle.


We got to start. Was gonna do a pass, forgot about this 'disturbing presence'. Rolled a 1 anyway, so yeah, maybe this passing is hard. Took some turns but we finally managed to do a score.

Then we spent the rest of the half to defend and it was 1-0 for us at the end of the half.


Second half started and we went a bit attacking defending. Didnt work perfect but almost good enough. In the end the nurgle scored on turn 16. At this time we only had 7 players on the field because we failed 5 ko recovery rolls (WITH A BABE). Tried to think if that was enough for a ottd but didnt have the brain energy. So we got a riot!

Unfortunately it didnt help in the end as we failed to position ourself for a td pass.


We really did a meal on this match.

So the lesson learned, you should always jinx yourself on the perfect season.


Level on the thrower and took +MA.


Also bought another catcher to the team.

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16 minutes ago, brocCooLi said:



The beast of nurgle did a block. Push, push and both down. Took both down. My lineman was fine, didnt even break armor. The best died. Failed the reg. RIP

The beast was weak and needed weeding out in the early games, hopefully his replacement will prove less useless!

Best of luck for the rest of the season!

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On 7/2/2021 at 3:39 PM, brocCooLi said:



The beast of nurgle did a block. Push, push and both down. Took both down. My lineman was fine, didnt even break armor. The best died. Failed the reg. RIP

My Beast is allergic to SPP for this very reason. After multiple seasons he still only has 2.

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Matchday 5 against dark elfs.


It was raining. Hate rain. But since the elfs had 2 ag5 players I decided to try and go for receive. Didnt do any fancy prancy of passing around as much as usual. Did some attacking, had the ball 2 squares form the endzone when I decided to go back and foul a nasty witch elf. Managed a KO at least. In the end we scored on turn 7. Pretty happy with it but a bit slow, more fun to score td, but wait a minute, who are you? I like to kazoo!!!!!


The elfs managed to do a pretty easy two turner. Im ok with that. What Im not ok with is that the elfs HAD LOLLIPOPS THE WHOLE MATCH AND TOLD ME FIRST IN THE MIDDLE OF SECOND HALF??? WHO EVEN DOES THAT???


The second half was elfs being on their side of the pitch, us being on our side. Nothing happened really. Went a bit offensive. Got the blitz ra surfed and he died. But then this apo thing showed up? Pretty sure they have reg but hey, apo cant help reg players so he stayed dead. Got money to buy a new one in the end so I will survive even if the blitz ra didnt, at least we will have the memory of... of... what was his name? Eh, whatever.


Looked like the elfs was gonna win but they rolled a 1 on the ball in last turn so I got this small minimum chance. Didnt do it. So a draw is a draw is a draw, so paint me like one of your french girls.


Got a -MA line that got mvp and leveled up block.

Also leveled up a catcher to block.

Bought a new blitzer.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Matchday 6 against dark elfs.


Started with the ball. Did two removals the first turn, got over excited and did a foul and got sent off. Worst ref ever. In total there was 4 fouls made, and 4 sent offs. But one got saved by a bribe that the dark elfs had. WORST REF EVER.


Scored in the end of the half. Dont know really what I was doing during the half. Yolo perhaps.

The dark elfs didnt score against my superb khemri defense at least.


The start of second half and we were down in numbers. I think we were like 8 against 9 at the start. But in the end I think there was like 5 left. Managed at least to push the elf to scoring so their turn 15 was just celebration.

Had 2 turns to win the game, tired but failed.


Ended in a draw. First 3 games was wins, and now the last 3 games was draws. Im getting bad at this game.


Got lot of spp at least.

One blitzer leveled dodge.

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Matchday 7 against brets.


We started with the ball once again. Scored in 2 turns. Yeah, speedy khemri go go go!

Brets had trouble picking up the ball but managed. I got a 1d on the ball carrier and knocked them down.

Couldnt manage to benefit from it better and in the end they scored pretty safely.


In the second half the dice was all khemri and no bret. They couldnt pick up the ball but 4+ pick up is normal for khemri so that was fine for me (but it was in two tackle zones? strange).

Anyway, we ran away with the ball for a while before we ran back up with it, passed and then tried to make as many turns go as possible before scoring. The brets did their best but with the dice they had it wasnt enough. In the end we scored on turn 15.


Won 2-1 so at least im out of the draw.


A catcher leveled up dodge.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Matchday 8 against dark elfs.


The crowd was crazy and screamed "Elf off!" which sounded logic because who wants elfs on the pitch?

Because of lazy and no long memory of this match I cant really say what happened.

It ended in a 4-1 win at least for us.


Maybe some levels.



Matchday 9 against undead aka the Pidpad.


Also because of lazy and no long term memory I dont recall this too.

Pid won this one with 2-1.


St4 lineman leveled up block.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

A new season and a new hope.


Matchday 1 against elven union.


Since we played against elfs we wanted to start so that we could get some elfs off the pitch early. The crowd was already shouting "elf off!". And the ref was also in line with this since they was easily bribed.


It started off quite good with 2 kos in 2 turns. The first foul we did was a badly hurt but we was forced to bribe the ref to stay on the pitch. The crowd went crazy!

Unfortunately we suffered a casualty on a block when we rolled double skull. The strange thing here was that the crowd cheered and screamed "elf off!" at this too?


We did two more fouls and got a sent off, bloody ref. They was supposed to not do that!

Here the elfs also took the ball from us. And even worse! They managed to score!


The second half started with 0-1 and 9 vs 9. We felt good about this. We shouldnt have done that.

Even if we did a casualty and put pressure on the ball carrier. Even when they failed a hand over.

We had our chance here. Picking up the ball with khemri is always a challange, but in a tackle zone even more. But not for us. Easy as a chocolate pie in thu sun. But dodgeing away, that is the hard part.

The elfs scored again and we were down 0-2.


They did a short kick and our thro-ra needed a simple gfi to pick up the ball but no, double one. Cursed are those elfs with all the snakes they bring.

But after some minor bashing we did manage to slip away with the ball and score, 1-2.

But time was running out for us and lots of elfs woke up from ko. So once again it was 9 vs 9.


We got some hope when the crowd caused a riot and we all got a turn extra. 4 turns, we should be able to draw on this.

But the elfs was to elfy and they scored again. The season started with a sad defeat, 1-3.


In the end we leveled up three players. So in that way the game was almost a win.

A blitzer got guard.

A catcher got dodge.

And our thrower with +MA got +AG. Becoming the monster we all dream about.


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Matchday 2 against chaos dwarfs


Again we started with the ball. Why change a thing that didnt work?

But this time it did. We made two ko and one stunned on dwarfs the first turn. So the apo was used on a dwarf to have him stay on the pitch. Yeeha what a start.

A few turns later we did a casualty on a dwarf, but we also got -MA on our st4 line. Since he already had niggle he was left with the -MA.


It was a intense half where the ball was on the side line and never bouncing out. At one point we tried a long bomb but ended up with a fumble. We also snaked a pick up with the new master thro-ra we have. We even tried to force the ball off the pitch but it refused to leave. What a silly thing to do. So in the end, 0-0. We didnt let the opponent score in our offense. WIN!


And once again it was 9 vs 9 in second half.

The crowd wanted more blood and a dwarf got stunned from a rock. Few turns later and a bull centaur got the ball, we made a few moves and blitzed it down down down like a water balloon out of air. The ball of course didnt bounce out. So we did some of that magic khemri does. Dodgeing, picking up the ball, passing, catching, and scoooooore!!!!!

These khemri catchers sure are a nice player to have.


New drive and we tried defence for real. But some failed things happened, lots of snakes left from elfs is my guess.

So the defence we put up wasnt really any defence. A hobgoblin managed to score with a gfi. Good for him, good for him.


The next drive was intense and we tried once again to put pressure on the bull that got the ball but failed a dodge for the bltiz.

Instead the bull dodged away, made gfis and a hand over to the other bull that went for the td. But failed a gfi just before the end zone. And in that position we couldnt score. So we tried a blitz but counted things wrong and failed the gfi for the blitz.


Ended 1-1. So the record for this new season is 0-1-1. Slow start but hopefully it will get better and better.


A lineman leveled kick.


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  • 2 weeks later...

Matchday 4 against elven union.


The crowd was crazy and screamed "elf off!" as soon as we stepped on the pitch. Nothing better than a crowds hate for elfs.

After our glorious win against orcs last week we felt like nothing could stop us. Definitely not some puny elfs.


We got the ball kicked to us and started by some famous ball fumbling by khemri. But we almost did one removal a turn for the first 4-5 turns. Nothing like elfs being carried off the pitch.

After a while we also started to do some fouling. At the end of the half, we opted for a foul before the touchdown. As it should be, no gingerbread man crossing the streets here.


In the second half the elfs started to foul back? And killed one of our players! St4, block, -ma and niggling. So wasnt really a loss, although it is always a bit sad when regen doesnt work (for some reason it popped up something with apo?).

The elf was cursed with bad dice and we got a chance to hit the ball carrier and catched the ball. For a few turns we took turns getting knocked down and catching the ball. In the end, khemri was victorious in the duel.

During this time we put a foot on the elf thrower and tried to give the gift of eternal rest, but the apo was evil and brought the thrower back to life.

We scored again but then the elfs did some one turn magic. But in the end it was a 2-1 win for our beloved khemri team.


Blitzer leveled sidestep.

Catcher leveled +MA.

Lineman leveled block.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Matchday 5 against humans


Since I am slow and we play this ancient race, it is hard to keep track of time.

We know we played these humans. We scored, yes, we scored.

They scored as well. And we got removed, a lot. It felt like a lot. Feelings are important. You should talk about your feelings.


The ones who talk about feelings are not walking over the water to pick up stones to throw around and will instead feel the birds in the forest in the hand that are digging.

 - ancient khemri wisdom.


The humans was hard to stop. Really hard to stop. We couldnt. They scored in the end of the second half.

1-2. But we had this ancient knowledge, called one-turner!

We set up for it. We got a riot? We dont need no riiii-ot, we dont need no crowd control. Hey! Ref! Leave them fouls alone!

So we did the one-turner instead of a two turner. We got 2-2.


A mighty score for a mighty khemri team.

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