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MD8 - Imposter Syndrome


Suido
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OCCupational Therapy

The Human Blitzer

 

The longer I played, the better I got, the more I thought about what I couldn't do. It's all about opportunity costs, you know?

 

I'm a blitzer. So I've always been pretty good at blocking. Then I got tackle, so I was even better, but you hear the whispers. No ball handling. Average build. Can't hit hard. Can't guard. I tried to ignore them, but it's not easy. I'm not good enough yet.

 

So I trained and I played and I risked my life and I trained and I played and I risked my life, and finally I flipped a switch and took my game to a new level. Mighty blow! Bringing the pain! But the whispers continue. Still so average. Hides behind the line. Doesn't sacrifice for the team. He's not that good yet. Is he worthy of his team-mates sacrifices? The whispers become thoughts, and the thoughts are insidious. They got inside my head and they stuck there. I'm not good enough yet.

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The background colour is a metaphor

 

So I trained and I played and I risked my life and I trained and I played and I risked my life, and finally I flipped a switch and took my game to a new level. Piling on! I'm the deadliest weapon on the team, no doubt. Except for the doubters, and I'm my own best doubter by now. These thoughts grow with you. Spends half the game horizontal. Glass cannon. Gets bogged down too often - can't beat opponents with block, wrestle, stand firm. I'm not good enough yet.

 

So I trained and I played and I risked my life and I trained and I played and I risked my life, and finally I flipped a switch and took my game to a new level. Juggernaut! Now I'm unstoppable on attack. Physically anyway. Mentally, I'm getting more and more feeble. I'm still just average strength, no horns or claws. I'll never be the best blitzer in the league, the blitzer my team mates deserve. I'm not good enough yet.

 

So I trained and I played and I risked my life and I trained and I played and I risked my life, and finally I flipped a switch and took my game to a new level. Jump up! Something a little special, takes the edge off the cost to the team's formation every time I pile on. But is it enough? I'm hogging the gametime, the plays, and it's hurting my team's development. Not enough guard, not enough stand firm. Sure, we're rising to the top of the league, but the better I get, the flimsier the rest of the team looks. The pressure builds and builds. I'm not good enough yet.

So I trained and I played and I risked my life and I trained and I played and I risked my life, and finally I flipped a switch and took my game to a new level. Strength 4! I've taken this team to the top. We've won the championship, I've been an integral part of the success. The years of strength training have finally paid off. I'm as strong as a... as strong as a... a rookie black orc. Fuck. I'm not good enough yet.

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