MD3 - Some Love for the Lineman

[Soapy]

 

[Fanta:]  If the coach is the brains of the team, the lineman is the heart, abused and ignored until you realize how vital it is.  What player does any coach spend more time hiring and firing than the humble lineman?  You line set the poor S.O.B. up there just so he can get punched in the gob and most of the time you don't even worry too much about the result, saving your apothecary for the players that you really like.

(What goes on in that melon of his?)

 

And we know they're not going to get the best name, even if the team has a great theme, because they'll just get killed or too skilled and they'll need to go.  But does the Lineman care?  Not at all, they know it is their lot in life to be used until they are useless.  Not because of some sense of self sacrifice or urge to do something for the greater good but because they're a bunch of dopes.

(Pro-tip: You can pay this guy in cheese. )

 

That's why they're always failing rushes, they've usually forgotten to tie their shoes.  They drop the ball because they need one hand free so they can remember what turn they're on.  They're the type of player who tucks his pants into his undershorts instead of between his undershorts and his shirt, real morans.

(This guy thinks french fries come from France.)

 

[Earl:]  Uh, Fanta, you're supposed to be talking these guys up, telling everyone why they should be loved, not why they're a bunch of shlubs...

[Fanta:]  Don't worry Earl, none of them can read anyway, so they'll have no idea this was even posted.  But you coaches will, so give me some love because we know you're smarter than a bunch of linemen and then go schedule those games!