Dark Flings Memorial Team Blog and Match Reports thread

[jounisii]

Excellent report Rem. Meep is my favourite co-commentator. I guess grats on the win as well :P

[Remthar]

Cubbles: Hello viewers, and welcome to the last MootCast of season 21! And we’re in for an amazing season finale with the Dark Flings facing off against the famed Hopeless Hungry Horde, a team consisting solely of Zombies! With vicious, slightly evil and rumoured cannibalisticly inclined halflings in one corner and A Horde of mindless zombies hungry for brains in the other, can matches get more entertaining than this I ask you?!

 

Boffar: Boffar does not think so! The tiny men will squish and the zombies will break! Both teams are too incompetent to bother with such silly things such as “The Ball”.

 

Cubbles: The Dark Flings win the toss and choose to receive, no doubt hoping the trees will put a dent in the horde. As the kick off occurs the fans let out a massive cheer, bolstering both teams!

 

Boffar: RAAAAAARGHHHHHH! KILL EACH OTHER!

 

Cubbles: But the Dark flings have a secret weapon for this match!

 

Dark Overcoach: MMMMMMMM, SMELL THAT LOVELY BRAIN STEW!

 

Cubbles: The Zombies are very distracted, but the Flings themselves seem highly motivated!

 

Dark Overcoach: WE MAY NEED MORE BRAIN STEW FOR HALF TIME. ANYONE WHO FAILS IS VOLUNTEERING.

 

Boffar: The kick is short, like the tiny little people. The Ball is carefully covered then the Trees advance, stunning a zombie. Boffar suggests they try harder!

 

Cubbles: Emily Riptear tries to pick up the ball, but fails!

 

Dark Overcoach: BRAAAAAIN STEEEEEEEW…

 

Boffar: Boffar Suggests they try harder too.

 

Cubbles: The Horde lurch into action, Super Zombie John Candy leading the charge into the fray! Mahatma Ghandi sprints to mark Emily Riptear!

 

Boffar: Boffar has heard of the legendary “Fast Zombies” but never thought he would see one! Truly a majestic sight.

 

Cubbles: With the rest of the Horde ambling into contact the Flings hit back! Death and Dread K.O and Injure a zombie, while Zara frees up some flings and Lara Doompain collects the ball and takes it to safety!

 

Boffar: But puny Larry Deathskull tries to dodge away from John Candy. The Zombie belly flops on top of him! HA HA HA HA! The halfling is knocked out.

 

Cubbles: Annie Deathskull follows him off the pitch soon after, And Columbus is able to mark the ball! But Zara shoves him away and the tree cage advances. Esme Rageslayer K.Os a zombie with a well placed boot, but the ref catches her.

 

Ref: I want a nice clean game here.

 

Boffar: Boffar does not like you, puny ref. Boffar does not like you at all.

 

Cubbles: The Horde lurch after the tree cage, but John Candy charges and shoves aside Zara to mark Lara! Will Candy’s Belly flopping technique stop the Dark Flings?!

 

Boffar: Not if Zara has anything to say about it! She smashes Candy to the ground! And the Tiny Halflings with the ball is scared and running for it! Zombie Chris Henry is able to chase after Lara, but Death smacks him away.

 

Cubbles: Lara is now just off the endzone and the Dark Flings are marking the couple of Zombies in range. But Zombie Merle Breaks away, even as Gary Killfang dives after him, and K.Os Lara! The ball flies off the side, but loyal halfling supporters throw it in still near the endzone and Gary Killfang is able to run in the score!

 

Dark Overcoach: GO GARY GO!

 

Cubbles: The Horde are left with enough time for an elf score, but look like they’re going to go for it! Some zombies go up the sides, the ball is picked up, but the pass goes wide and is left in the open! The Trees smash a path to the ball and Penny Killslayer grabs it!

 

Boffar: The Super Zombie Cory Stringer then goes into a frenzy and attacks Penny! But she stays on her feet and the zombie trips over!

 

Cubbles: The Death tree is able to chase after after, picks her up and Penny flies through the air! And lands on her feet, running in the second score!

 

Dark Overcoach: SEE EVERYONE?! IT IS POSSIBLE TO LAND AND CARRY THE BALL AT THE SAME TIME!

 

Cubbles: While a zombie makes a gutsy attack on Darkroot, thats it for the first half!

 

*****

 

Cubbles: The Horde receives again, though the Dark Flings seem to have completely run out of stew!

 

Dark Overcoach: DAMN. I WAS SO HAPPY WITH PENNY THAT I FORGOT WE NEEDED A REFILL. YOU ALL GET A PASS. FOR NOW.

 

Boffar: The zombies pick up the ball and then hand it off to Merle. Boffar is suspicious about this elfishness!

 

Cubbles: But a gap is left after the trees strike and Zara knocks the ball loose! An Emily Riptear perfoms an amazing dodging run to collect the ball amid traffic!

 

Boffar: But Andy Murdercrow fails to dodge and cover her. She is kocked down, but the zombies are unable to recover the ball. Hmmm, perhaps they are not elves in disguise after all!

 

Cubbles: Dread mashes another zombie into the pitch, while Zara is able to blitz and cover the ball. Emily tries to the go for the ball, but is tripped and K.Oed! The Zombies knock down Zara and try for the ball, but again fumble it!

 

Boffar: The Trees clear off the Ball and Halfling Lara tries to sprint to the ball, but she fails! Richard the Lion Heart picks up the ball, and makes a wild pass! They ARE Elves. But he misses! So maybe they are not?! Boffar is angered and confused!

 

Cubbles: The ball is now laying between the two super Zombies! Dread andZara trun around and start to race back towards the ball!

 

Dread: If Zombies can carry ball, so can I!

 

Dark Overcoach: SURE DREAD. IF YOU CAN GET TO THE BALL ITS YOURS.

 

Boffar: The Death Tree then falls on a zombie, breaking it. HA HA HA HA!

 

Cubbles: Candy tries for the ball, but is unable to collect it! Dread picks up Gary Killfang and send him flying!

 

Dread: Go get ball! Bring to me!

 

Cubbles: Gary is carried off to the dugout. Penny Killslayer is carted out after him shortly Candy fails to pick up the ball and Lara covers it, but then Candy jumps on top of Lara as she dodges to get at the ball! Thaere are no more flings left on the pitch now, only the Trees and Zara!

 

Boffar: But the Zombies fail their last chance to score! The teams punch each other a little more, but to no effect.

 

Cubbles: The Match ends 2-0 to the Dark Flings, who have now gone 5-1-3 for the Season!
 

 

Edited February 26, 2017 by Dreamy

[xanderv]

BRAAAAAAIN STEEEEEW

Great record and great fluff as always. This is rapidly becoming one of my favourite OCC teams!

[narg]

Kudos to both coaches for daring to play halflings and zombies in a competitive league!

 

I tried a full thrall team once. I got thrashed and I stopped there. Can't believe you guys are mad enough to play those teams, especially full zombie, that's just masochistic!

[Remthar]

Dark Flings vs Dustbiters - Matchday 1

 

Hello viewers and welcome to season 22 of the OCC! I’m Cubbles Greenhill, ace reporter for the Moot Wombler, star commentator for the Blahvile gazette, and your host here on the MootCast! It certainly looks like its going to be an exiting season folks, and as usual we will be following the Dark Flings meteoric rise to glory! Before their first match starts, I’ve arranged to have a quick chat with the Dark Overcoach.

 

Cubbles: Dark Overcoach, how is the team looking for the new season?

 

Dark Overcoach: I STILL HAVEN”T BEEN ABLE TO BEAT ANY AGILITY OUT OF THESE LITTLE BASTARDS. BUT I WILL KEEP TRYING.

 

Cubbles: Have there been any changes to the team?

 

Dark Overcoach: I HAVE HIRED A MORE PERMANENT CHEF FOR THE TEAM. WELL, PERMANENT SO LONG AS SHE DOES A GOOD JOB…

 

Cubbles: Ah yes, a new-comer to the bloodbowl cooking scene, Violet Evilcookies.

 

Dark Overcoach: DREAD WILL NOW ONLY EAT HER COOKING.

 

Cubbles: Ah, speaking of The Dread Tree, he has been speaking a lot about his intention to score this season.

 

Dark Overcoach: GODS DAMN IT DREAD! I TOLD YOU MAYBE! THAT BLOODY TROPHY HAS GONE TO YOUR HEAD…

 

Cubbles: He was Tweeting about how inspired he was to see Strongroot ‘The Rock’ Johnson score in the Big Crunch this week.

 

Dark Overcoach: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE BOUGHT HIM TICKETS TO THAT MATCH… AND WAIT, HE WAS WHAT?

 

Cubbles: Tweeting. You know, Twitter, the magical bird network? Look, I think he’s Tweeting now. Apparently he has a lot of followers.

 

Dread talking to little blue bird on his shoulder: I get ball this match! You see followers! I get Ball! I score!

 

Dark Overcoach: GODS DAMN IT DREAD!

 

Cubbles: Looks like is time for the match to start, So I had better let you get going Dark Overcoach.

 

Dark Overcoach: GIVE ME THAT BIRD!

 

Dread: No! Mine!

 

 

*****

 

Cubbles: The Dustbiters have won the toss chosen to receive, aiming to attack the trees on the LOS. But as the ball flies into the air the Trees all shuffle sideways slightly into a better position. Violet Evilcookies is trying to tempt the the Khemri with some Dark Buns, but to only minor effect. The excitingly mobile Tomb Guardian, Biter of Dust, pushes dread away, and the ball is collected. But the Biters unusually agi blitz-ra.

 

No-one: …

 

Cubbles: ..oops

 

No-one: …

 

Cubbles: Shi… umm, darn! I seem to have forgotten to bring in a co-commentator for this match… Ummm… You there, intern! Come here quick, you’re promoted!

 

Wally Halftoes: Me, Mr. Cubbles sir?

 

Cubbles: Yes, hurry! Death has been knocked over, but Darkroot stands firm even against several risky blocks from the biters. Darkroot and Dread strike back hard though, and one Tomb Guardian is on the ground while another is stunned! The Dark Flings gather several players around the fallen Tomb Guardian, but it seems Esme Rageslayer is out of position.

 

Dark Overcoach: WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE ESME?!

 

Cubbles: But before the Dark Flings can worry too much about that, Percy Gutripper fails to dodge away from a TG and hurts himself.

 

Wally Halftoes: The Khemri move to their right, away from the Treemen, their progress blocked only by three halflings.

 

Cubbles: Speak up intern! And get you mic on properly! Ami the Ogre Mud-wrestler injures off Alfie Doomkiller. The Treemen start lumbering as fast as they can towards the ball carrier, Dread almost tripping, but recovering just in time.

 

Wally Halftoes: Y-yes sir! The Khemri continue up their right, screening off their ball carrier from the Dark flings.

 

Cubbles: But that doesn’t stop Dread! He sprints like mad and is able to smash aside a skeletone in order ot mark the ball carrier!

 

Dread: Give Ball! Give Ball Now!

 

Wally Halftoes: Annie Skullkiller, a master of the diving tackle, moves up next to Dread, and the rest of the halfling screen off the other Dustbiters from the action.

 

Cubbles: But Annie is blitzed away and the Blitz-ra is just able to escape Dread and sprint in the score! But now its the Dark Flings turn to receive.

 

Wally Halftoes: The Khemri set up with a couple of players Deep in order to try and foil a thrown halfling, then kick deep.

 

Cubbles: But Penny Killslayer is right on the ball and manages to run the ball forward to Emily Riptear. The Trees advance.

 

Wally Halftoes: The Dustbiters rush in, though still leaving a couple of players back as safeties.

 

Cubbles: But the trees smash a hole, and ties up most of the Biters, while the Flings screen off Emily as she hurtles down the right! Steve Darkmagic zaps down the Throw-ra who was in range to blitzer her! Ogreproofed, the Blitz-ra, tries a longshot dodge to get to Emily, but it brought down. Emiliy runs in the equaliser!

 

Wally Halftoes: There is just enough time left in the first half to score, if you were elves anyway.

 

Cubbles: Seems no one as told the Biters that Wally, as they rush an unusual skeleton receiver down the right side and collect the ball with Ogreproofed!

 

Wally Halftoes: The treemen hit the LOS, while the halfling mark the receiving skeleton.

 

Cubbles: Biter of dust then attempts to slam hi way past two halfling, but they are able to bring him down! This leave a small chance for a second score with the Dark Flings! Dread is just within range of the Ballcarrier and smashes past a sketelton to him, and the ball is loose, a fling just needs to collect it and hand it off…

 

Wally Halftoes: But wait sir, the Dread Tree has picked up the ball!

 

Dark Overcoach: NO DREAD! THERE ISN’T ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO SCORE THIS HALF!

 

Dread: Ball Mine! At Last!

 

Ref: *blows whistle*

 

Dread: RRRAAAAGHHHHHH! *Stomps on ref*

 

Ref: *Splat*

 

*****

 

Cubbles: Welcome to the second half Viewers. The Dark Flings are now receiving.

 

Wally Halftoes: The biters kick short, and away from the trees. The Dark Flings have to cover the ball with halflings, but Gary Killfang pick it up and takes it towards the trees.

 

Cubbles: Meanwhile at the LOS a skeleton is K.Oed and a rookie Blitz-ra knocked over, then fouled DEAD by Esme Ragslayer!

 

Dark Overcoach: HA HA HA HA!

 

Wally Halftoes: The Khemri move up, and Ogreproofed dodges hi way through a halfling screen to mark the ball carrier!

 

Cubbles: Another illegal elf skeleton…

 

Wally Halftoes: The Trees move up slowly, except for the Dread Tree who takes root.

 

Dread: What is point? You not give ball. Waste Talent.

 

Dark Overcoach: ARGH!

 

Cubbles: Biter of Dust then breaks past Dread and attempts to take down Gary. But gary stay on his feet and Dread K.Os Biter!

 

Dread: I bet they let you have ball! Not fair!

 

Wally Halftoes: The Halfling and tree cage continues to advance, but is bogged down and broken up in a brawl with the biters. Gary withdraws slightly, and tries to assist in fouling a skeleton. But even with the combined efforts of four halflings it fails, and the Skelton blitzes Gary! But it is K.Oed in the process.

 

Cubbles: Lara doompain takes the ball, and adanvaces again. The fling manages to foul off a Thro-ra! Though she looses the ball again after being pushed next to a skeleton. Darkroot K.Os a skeleton and covers the ball, while Death takes root but ties up two TGs.

 

Wally Halftoes: A blitz from Gary clears the ball, and now Annie Skullkiller collects it! It looks like the dark fling in in the clear until Ghostrunner the thro-ra dodges away from his halfling markers and strips the ball from Annie’s hands!

 

Cubbles: But the flings surge to annie’s aid and she K.Os Ghostrunner, while Lara Doompain again collects the ball, scoring to win the game 2-1 for the Dark Flings!

 

Edited February 26, 2017 by Dreamy

[xanderv]

Dread with the ball?! He's tasted ball carrying now, there's no turning back...

 

[Sacred Chilli]

I'm just willing Dread to catch a Kick off, then the slow walk up the pitch only to root at the last moment. It'll be beautiful

[Gruzmog]

Nice write up. I got out with two players leveling, finally double guard on the team but still no doubles/block for the TG's, what did you get out of it? If only my breacktackle jugger had not fallen flat on his as while using a reroll on turn 8! I would have shown you some real elven skeletons ^^

 

In hindsight I was a bit too agressive in the 2th half, should have let you come to me while nibling at the trees instead of going for the flanks in an attempt to reach the carrier from behind. That guard on your tree would have made that hard though. 8 succesfull block the entire game must be an all time low for me :P

 

Atleast we did not lag out in the end, it was scary! Goodluck for the rest of the season!

[Remthar]

Dread with the ball?! He's tasted ball carrying now, there's no turning back...

 

 

Maybe he'll even manage a score against these Top Git fellows he'll be facing next matchweek... Would be nice :p

 

I'm just willing Dread to catch a Kick off, then the slow walk up the pitch only to root at the last moment. It'll be beautiful

 

No! Don't tempt nuffle, you know he'll do it...

 

Nice write up. I got out with two players leveling, finally double guard on the team but still no doubles/block for the TG's, what did you get out of it? If only my breacktackle jugger had not fallen flat on his as while using a reroll on turn 8! I would have shown you some real elven skeletons ^^

 

In hindsight I was a bit too agressive in the 2th half, should have let you come to me while nibling at the trees instead of going for the flanks in an attempt to reach the carrier from behind. That guard on your tree would have made that hard though. 8 succesfull block the entire game must be an all time low for me :P

 

Atleast we did not lag out in the end, it was scary! Goodluck for the rest of the season!

 

Got three fling levels, one of which is 5+5 so probably +MA on a rookie. And you were rather unlucky with the dodges (Which feels really weird to say to a Khemri team...). Good luck to you too, I hope you smash up many of my opponents just before I face them

[Larkstar]

Excellent report once again.  You haven't lived until you've scored with a Treeman!  

[asprice81]

Awesome match report!  

[Remthar]

Dark Flings vs Top Git - Matchday 2

 

Cubbles: Welcome to matchday 2 of the Orca Cola Championship viewers! I’m Cubbles Greenhill and with me today is Harry Trisbane, noted human, and we’re here to commentate the Dark Flings vs Top Git match for the MootCast!

 

Harry: “Noted Human?!”

 

Cubbles: You are notably human Harry. What do you think of the Gits?

 

Harry: A nasty match-up for halflings Cubbles, lots of skill at tackling dodgers, the deadly Maverick, Commander ‘Stinger’ the Ogre, who has almost amazonian defencive skill in a strong and tough package! Also they have a kicker…

 

Dark Overcoach: NOOO! KICKERS ARE AGAINST THE WILL OF NUFFLE! THE BALL SHOULD BE KICKED RANDOMLY AS HE INTENDED, YOU MEDDLE WITH FORCES THAT SHOULD NOT BE MEDDLED WITH!

 

Harry: I did not know the Dark Overcoach was religious Cubbles?

 

Cubbles: Mostly just about kickers Harry. The captains have shaken hands, Emily Riptear taking over from Dread for the time being after disagreements over interactions with the public. The toss is up and Top git win and decide to receive

 

Harry: The Dark Flings kick to the centre of the Gits half, but chase right after the ball! Death sprints to be rights its landing point, as does Emily. Alfie Doomkiller tries to sprint after them, but those supposedly sure feet of his aren’t today and he falls on his ass!

 

Cubbles: Esme fails to catch the ball, and is instantly killed by Iceman. That was a short captaincy. The almost suspiciously elven thrower Jester collects the ball fro in front of Death and its caged safely out of reach.

 

Harry: In retaliation Death K.Os a lineman, and Zara knocks down Goose, who is fouled by Emily Rageslayer. The ref catches her however, and she’s sent off. Ref seems very watchful…

 

Cubbles: The Gits run down their right, keeping the Trees marked, Darkroot by stinger, who he is unable to knock down. Percy Gutripper tries a quick foul on a lineman while the refs back is turned, but he foot barely touched him before the Ref had grabed him and turf him out! A cunning trap it seems…

 

Harry: Maverick jumps on Horace Angryrage, though to no avail and Jester moves down the pith and passes to Slider, who runs well out of range of the Dark Flings.

 

Cubbles: But Maverick made the critical error of lying down, and the Dark Flings surround him and start beating! The ref is too busy cheering on Slider to notice and Maverick is K.Oed. This seems to disturb the Gits, and they score quickly.

 

Harry: The Flings set up their trees to one side, evidently hoping to move fast up the side.

 

Cubbles: But the kick goes deep as expected, and Larry Deathskull fails to catch the ball. He picks it up, but tires to hand it to the speedy Lara Doompain, but sadly Lara isn’t ready and drops it!

 

Harry: Top Git smash through a halfling screen and are quickly all over the ball! Larry Deathskull shoves all but one of them away, but Lara is again unable to handle the ball!

 

Dark Overcoach: WHY LARA, WHY?!

 

Harry: The Gits are able to K.O a couple of the flings in contact now, and Jester sprints in to take the ball and is screened by Viper.

 

Cubbles: But Dread doesn’t scre about screens and Smashes though to hit Viper! But he is unable to bring him down, even with the encouragement of the Dark Overcoach.

 

Dark Overcoach: JUST PUNCH HIM FOR THE GODS SAKE DREAD!

 

Dread: Not Fair! He Not Hold Still, Keeps Dodging!

 

Harry: Jester then keeps dodging all the way to a score!

 

Cubbles: The Dark Flings try a quick throw attempt, but Larry trips as he tries to run the ball forwards, and thats the first half!

 

*****

 

Harry: The Dark Flings receive again, and this time look to be going up the middle. Larry Deathskull is able to get under the ball again, but is unable to catch it. Before he can try and pick it up though, there is a clamour from the front as Darkroot Stranglebranch falls over trying to hit Stinger!

 

Dark Overcoach: FALL OVER YOU STUPID OGRE!

 

Cubbles: The Gits aren’t able to make their way to the ball this time, but move up aggressively. Darkroot stands up, and he is not looking pleased. Dread shoves Stinger away and Larry moved the ball up. The Gits hit, then withdraw a little. Dread Charges forwards. Darkroot looks at Stinger.

 

Darkroot Stranglebranch: I. Will. Not. Take. This. I. Am. Better. Than. YOU!

 

Harry: And Darkroot picks up Stinger by the neck, and RIPS HIS HEAD OFF! The Top Git apothecary team rush on and start an emergency head reattachment procedure!

 

Cubbles: Looks like they’re largely successful, though he’ll be laid up for a while. Larry is now safely caged forward in the with the trees.

 

Harry: The Gits form collmns in front of the Cage, but Dread and Death move forwards very aggressively, while Darkroot brings up the rear.

 

Cubbles: Ronald Hopemurder tries a tiny little foul, but again the ref catches him before any damage can be done! It seems the rumours that the Top Gits coach has seedy ties with the administrators might be true!

 

Harry: The Trees have pushed more than halflway up the pitch, and Larry is in range to score, but another fling is shoved into him and he’s pushed just out of range. But Dread charges forward, nearly at the endzone, forming a cage corner. Larry runs up to him…

 

Cubbles: And Dread TRIES TO STEAL THE BALL FROM LARRY! It spills onto the ground!

 

Dark Overcoach: WHAT THE…?! DREAD!!!

 

Dread: My Time To Shine!

 

Harry: Top Git try to dodge away from the trees, but are unable to get away!

 

Cubbles: Dread charges forwards again and… MANAGES TO GRAB THE BALL AWAY FROM LARRY! THE ENDZONE IS JUST THERE! TOP GIT CAN’T GET THE BALL AWAY FROM DREAD, AND DON’T EVEN TRY! ONLY A COUPLE OF STEPS TO GO!

 

Dark Overcoach: WHAT THE…

 

Cubbles: HE IS ABOUT TO SCORE…

 

Dread: *Takes root*

 

Cubbles: …

 

Harry: …

 

Dark Overcoach: GRARRRRRGLLLLLerrrrrggggahhhh…

 

Harry: And the Dark Overcoach is down!

 

Dread, tugging feebly at his legs: ...Why I Not Move?

 

Cubbles: Larry quickly steals the ball back from dread while he’s confused, and scores to end the game 2-1 to Top Git!

 

Harry: There is one last set of LOS hits, and Maverick uses them to smash Zara the slayers collar bone!

 

Cubbles: Zara was present?

 

Edited February 26, 2017 by Dreamy

[Sacred Chilli]

Sorry Remthar, I feel guilty that I suggested Dread would take root just before scoring last week.

Next week I predict Dread will score a hat trick!

[Gruzmog]

Bad luck on the tree.

You made someone happy though. No ogre next week, who is playing top git?

[BrotherKane]

Dread! Dread! Why do you do this to us!

[xanderv]

I felt so bad when Dread rooted. Would have been an epic touchdown.

Good work Remthar.

Good call on Zara too. She knocked a couple people over but she was a non-factor for most of it.

[Larkstar]

Dread will have his day!!!

[Remthar]

Sorry Remthar, I feel guilty that I suggested Dread would take root just before scoring last week.

Next week I predict Dread will score a hat trick!

 

Its ok, I just blame you from the bottom of my heart I think a hat trick will be sadly out of dreads reach unless he learns teleportation...

 

Bad luck on the tree.

You made someone happy though. No ogre next week, who is playing top git?

 

Shirewire and his Norse will probably be happy to see Stinger missing their match.

 

Dread! Dread! Why do you do this to us!

 

For the attention probably... Damn prima donna treeman!

 

I felt so bad when Dread rooted. Would have been an epic touchdown.

Good work Remthar.

Good call on Zara too. She knocked a couple people over but she was a non-factor for most of it.

 

Was a fun game Xander, and Dread will get there eventually! And hopefully the Dark Flings will be assigned a new Zara since Maverick got rid of this one.

 

Dread will have his day!!!

 

Dread is irrepressible! He will get there, even with the Dark Overcoach (and his tendency to take root) trying to hold him back every step of the way!

[Remthar]

Dark Flings vs Plague of Fear

 

Cubbles: Welcome to the MootCast viewers, with me today is Meep Snivelscribbler. I had to bail you out of jail for littering Meep…

 

Meep: Watch-pig-things have no sense of great-good literature! Meep journalism is good toilet-papers as bonus, not solely!

 

Cubbles: The Dark Flings are facing off against some Nercomantics today.

 

Meep: Doggy-things scare Meep! Why must Meep be so tasty…?!

 

Cubbles: The Dark Flings are kicking, and it looks like Violet Evilcookies is still having trouble tempting Undead with her cooking.

 

Violet: Ungrateful undead! Free biscuits for everyone in the audience who riots!

 

Crowd: YAY! BISCUITS! CHARGE!!!

 

Cubbles: And the crowd surge onto the pitch, ignoring the Dark Flings and leaving only four of the Necros standing! This looks bad for the Plague, wouldn’t you say Meep …Meep?

 

Meep: Save Biscuit for Meep! Meep so Hungry…

 

Cubbles: To make matters worse for the Plague, they fail to pick up the ball! Dread is soon marking it, with Death not far behind! Esme Rageslayer looks like she’s on her way to introduce a wolf to her shiv, but trips on the way there.

 

Meep: Dead-thing picks up ball from right in front of Dread-thing. It succeed! Dead thing then try to dodge away. It not work. Little-fat-thing grab ball. Wolf-thing try to eat little-fat-thing! Little-fat-thing manage to dance away!

 

Cubbles: The Wolves are now standing next to the trees, who quickly stun one and K.O the other!

 

Meep: Little-fat-thing Gary try to dodge away from Flesh-Golem-lump. He fail.

 

Cubbles: A ghoul is able to mark the now open ball. Darkroot and Death are unable to shift a Flesh Golem and Dread just needs to Blitz his way to mark the ball and ghoul…

 

Dark Overcoach: GODS DAMN IT DREAD!

 

Dread: What!? I not even fail yet! I have th… *Takes Root*

 

Cubbles: The ghoul dodges away fom his marker, collects the ball and is away out of range!

 

Meep: Tree-things seem to have morale-happy-happy problem. Death-thing fall over. Darkroot-thing Fall over. Dread thing stand there, look stupid. Dead-things try foul Darkroot. Ref laugh, shout Timber. But Darkroot-thing live, only stun!

 

Cubbles: The Plague score. Then blitz off their kick! A wolf attacks a halfling, but trips over its own tail and is on its face. Esme Rageslayer and gang try to make it pay, but are unable to scratch it. Larry Deathskull is able to catch the kick, but sadly is too far away to hand it off.

 

Meep: First half end!

 

*****

 

Cubbles: the Dark Flings receive in the second half, and Larry is able to gather the Deep kick. The Trees casue no damage off the LOS, but a wight is scooped behind the line by Death, and Esme leads the team in stamping in his skull! The ref is unable to see past the trees to know what happened.

 

Meep: Necro-things move in, mark tree-things and fat-things. Dread-crazy-tree-thing is one vs one with Flesh-lump-thing. Flesh=lump no match! Dread Badly Hurt it!

 

Dark Overcoach: I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU DREAD!

 

Dread: Yay!

 

Cubbles: The Dark Flings then knock over the other Golem and Esme stuns it!

 

Meep: Doggy-thing run into fat-fling hug-range. Corpse-eater-thing try to sprint and attack ball! Fail, stun self.

 

Cubbles: Andy Murdercrow then knock the killer wolf over, and the Flings surround it.

 

Dark Overcoach: HEY REF, LOOK OVER THERE! A GIANT OCTOPUS IS ATTACKING THE STADIUM!

 

Cubbles: And Esme is handed a large hammer almost as big as she is! A quick hit and the Wolfs Collar bone is smashed beyond regeneration!

 

Dark Overcoach: AH, YOU MISSED IT REF, ITS GONE NOW.

 

Ref: What happened to that wolf?!

 

Esme: He fell down some stairs.

 

Ref:…

 

Esme:…

 

Cubbles: …and the Ref has bought it! Larry Deathskull makes a break for it with the ball, and hands it to Andy Murdercrow to score.

 

Meep: Wight-dead-thing try to run after then, mark by two fat-things!

 

Cubbles: But the wight does not care, dodges past them and injures Andy! The ball flies off the pitch!

 

Violet: A sticky bun if its thrown in near us!

 

Meep: Meep want bun-sticky-thing yes-yes!

 

Cubbles: Meep has dived into the crowd, stolen the ball and thrown is right in front of the Endzone! Ronald Hopemurder shoves aside the Wight and Lara Doompain scores! The Match ends 1-1!

 

 

 

 

Edited February 26, 2017 by Dreamy

[xanderv]

 

Dark Overcoach: HEY REF, LOOK OVER THERE! A GIANT OCTOPUS IS ATTACKING THE STADIUM!

 

 

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Dreamy]

You play halflings too well - I was disappointed that it was only a stunty win

Reporting also top notch, also as usual.

[Gallows Bait]

A real shame you couldn't capitalise on the first half chance.  Always good to see a Wolf take a career ending injury too.  Not that I'm biased with 2 Necro teams yet to face this season or anything,

[Remthar]

Dark Flings vs Xochipilli's Apocolypse

 

Wally: H…h…hi there V…viewers! I…I’m Wally Halftoes! Cubbles Greenhill is… is indisposed at the moment, but I’ll be filling in with the help of Alemeria Treebark, wood elf and member of the Society for Lizardmen Appreciation and Protection.

 

Alemeria: Hello viewers, I’m excited to be here! We at SLAP love Lizardmen, from the majestic and powerful Saurus, to the nimble and oh so cute skinks! Seriously, I just want to grab one and squeeze!

 

Dread: I Want squeeze them too!

 

Alemeria: I am disappointed that we won’t be able to see a Kroxigor on the pitch today, as the poor thing was hurt in its previous match.

 

Wally: Thats right, only six Saurus and five skinks on the pitch today! Aparrently Darkroot Strangle branch will not be making an appearance today because of this.

 

Dark Overcoach: REF! I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS BRIBE, IT HAD BETTER WORK!

 

Dark Underassistants: *Whisper Whisper Whisper*

 

Dark Overcoach: I MEAN MY PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE DONATION TO THE REFEREE RETIREMENT FUND. BUT THE GIANT OCTOPUS IS REAL, AND WILL EAT YOU IF THIS DOESN’T WORK.

 

Wally: The Dark Flings are receiving for the first half, Dread knocks over a Saurus, the Dark Flings gather around it and…

 

Alemeria: Eeeeeek! What are they doing?!

 

Wally: I…ummm…ahhh… terrible violence by the looks of things…

 

Alemeria: Someone stop them!

 

Wally: Esme Rageslayer has smashed the knee of a saurus, with the apo unable to do anything about it! Larry Deathskull collects the ball and hides behind Dread.

 

Alemeria: This leaves the other treeman off on his own. He is knocked over, stunned and a Beautiful Saurus charges the smelly little halfling with that ball and bring him down gracefully!

 

Wally: By falling on top of him?

 

Alemeria: With grace.

 

Wally: Larry is K.Oed, but Esme Rageslayer and half of the Dark Flings gather around the prone Saurus and… umm…

 

Alemeria: Eeeeeek! Ref stop them!

 

Ref: Ummm, you really should do that…

 

Dark Overcoach in a sing-song voice: OOOCTOOOOPUSSSS…

 

Ref: But I can see it was an accident and will let you off with a warning.

 

Esme: I’m Sowwwwy…

 

Wally: The Saurus is carted off the pitch, he probably won’t be playing again for a little while… Lara Doompain collects the ball.

 

Alemeria: A sweet little skink gives the fallen treeman a hug, awwww isn’t that so cute! And the Saurus heroically engage the evil little halflings!

 

Wally: One of the Skinks in contact in then punched into the dugouts by Penny Killslayer! Dread Grabs a Saurus, shoves it to the ground and Esme Rageslayer…

 

Alemeria: EEEEEEEK! What is she doing with that mallet!

 

Wally: I… oh dear… Removing another Saurus from the match, with a fractured skull this time.

 

Ref: Hey, you didn’t pay the weapon surcharge!

 

Dark Overcoach: THE WHAT NOW?

 

Ref: You, you’re off!

 

Wally: Emse Rageslayer doesn’t seem to mind as she walks off the pitch to the cheers of the Dark Fling fans! She is then carried by the crowd to her new seat at the right hand of the Dark Overcoach!

 

Alemeria: This isn’t sport, this is MURDER!

 

Wally: lara runs forward with the ball, but is brought down by a skink! The ball is left near Dread and surrounded by both teams! Gary Killfang Tackles down a skink twice as it keeps trying to escape from him! The Dark FLings are then able to clear off most of the lizards, and Penny Killslayer now has the ball!

 

Alemeria: But the great Saurus Mictecacihuatl (We call him Mict for shot) dodges away from the Death tree and stops Penny’s escape.

 

Wally: C..can saurus do that? Dodge I mean?

 

Alemeria: Of course they can! And Mictecacihuatl is even more nimble than the average saurus! Why, I think he could equal a throw-ra In ball handling!

 

Wally: A skink then murders the prone Gary Killfang! And starts eating him!

 

Ref: Ehh, seems legit.

 

Dark Overcoach: I AM GOING TO ENJOY WATCHING THE OCTOPUS EAT YOU!

 

Wally: With Penny held up by a wall of skinks and Saurus, Dread seems to decide to throw her over the top of it. The throw is short, and Penny lands on her face. The ball is left next to Death.

 

Dark Overcoach: DREAD! YOU THROW LIKE A CRIPPLED DWARVISH GRANDMOTHER!

 

Alemeria: A nimble little skink then grabs the ball away from in front of the nasty tree dodges away and past a skniky little halfling to hand the ball to another skink! Look at the way they work together as a team! Its like they think they’re little elves! The one with the ball no runs far out of range of any halfling retaliation.

 

Dark Overcoach: GODS DAMN IT DREAD!

 

Dread: Why You Always Blame Me?!

 

Dark Overcoach: BECAUSE DREAD, IT’S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT!

 

Wally: The Lizards score after injuring another halfling and the first half is over!

 

 

*****

 

Wally: Welcome back to the second half v…v… Viewers! The Dark Flings are kicking with 9 players vs 7 Lizardmen left.

 

Alemeria: Mictecacihuatl tries to pick up the ball, but doesn’t quite manage. Keep trying dear, you’ll get it!

 

Wally: Death then starts the round by taking root.

 

Death: Why. You. Pay. More . Attention. To. Dread. Than. Me!

 

Dark Overcoach: ARGH! GOD DAMN IT DEATH!

 

Wally: The Dark Flings try to make up for Death taking himself out of the game by K.Oing a skink. But another hafling leaves the pitch after a Saurus punch.

 

Alemeria: A skink is able to pick up the ball and is surrounded by his fellows!

 

Wally; But there is a gap, and Dread knock the skink down, with surprising care actually, and the ball scatters away from dread and next to two Lizards. The Dark Flings are able to cover it however.

 

Alemeria: A skink tries to pick up the ball, but is confounded by so many nasty little halflings!

 

Wally: The ball is in the open with only a single skink marking it! Penny Killslayer tries to grab it and score, but fails to pick it up! Halfling are being K.Oed all over the place! Fortunately a skink also fails to pick up the fling marked ball.

 

Alemeria: But enough annyong halflings have been removed that That Dread Tree is knocked over, stunnded and the ball is scattered away from the dark flings! Unfortunately the ball is covered with blood and a skink can’t pick it up.

 

Dark Overcoach: OK, SCREW REASONABLE CHANCES, GET THE BALL!

 

Wally: Penny Killslayer decides that being tackled doesn’t apply to her, and doges through the Lizardman team, picks up the bal, hands it to Jenny Deathreaper, who runs for it!

 

Alemeria: But she is in range of Mictecacihuatl, who sprints to reach her, and then… What?!

 

Wally: Jenny is having none of this shit! She beats down the attacking Saurus and scores! YES!

 

Alemeria: What?!

 

Wally: there is only a little time left in the half, but the Dark Flings kick short! The Lizards sprint to cover the ball, but one trips! Death then charges and smashes a saurus!

 

Alemeria: EEEEEK! This is cruelty to lizardmen! SLAP will demand action be taken about this!

 

Wally: Penny Killslayer continues to pay no attention to the number of players in her way, and grabs the ball from in front of two skinks! A skink tries a suicide charge on Death, but is K.Oed! The ball is then handed to Lara Doompain, Dread hurls her across the pitch… And she lands on her face. The match is over, a 1-1 draw!

 

 

 

 

Edited February 26, 2017 by Dreamy

[xanderv]

Wally: A skink then murders the prone Gary Killfang! And starts eating him!

 

Ref: Ehh, seems legit.

 

LOL!!!!!!!

[Remthar]

Cubbles: Hi there viewers, and welcome to the MootCast! I’m back this week and with me is Boffar Talebellower, noted drunk Norseman. How did you even get into journalism Boffar?

 

Boffar: Boffar discovered he could be paid for shouting at Bloodbowl! And Boffar had been doing that for free!

 

Cubbles: Fascinating, you can just never tell where life will take you, can you.

 

Boffar: Boffar expected to spend a short life raiding the weak, wearing a small foul smelling loin cloth and to die wrestling a bear, as have all Boffar’s ancestors back as far as he can remember! So basically Boffar's father.

 

Cubbles: I personally was always interested in bloodbowl, and always wanted a career related to it in some way. Just under no circumstances on the pitch.

 

Boffar: Boffar is with you on that tiny fat man! Boffar may be large, hairy and stupid! But not that stupid.

 

Cubbles: Well, on to the match. The Dark Flings are facing the Dizzy Dodgers VI, wood elves and the sixth team of that name. I assume, anyway.

 

Boffar: The coin is tossed! The sissy girly wood elfs win. How Boffar despises them.

 

Cubbles: The elves don’t seem very tempted by Violet Evilcookies cooking.

 

Violet: Stupid hippy elves! No it isn’t cruelty and gluten free!

 

Cubbles: They will be kicking, and oh dear, looks like its starting to rain. The ball flies off to the right, and its a high kick with Alfie doomkiller tring to get under it but failing.

 

Boffar: A mercenary elf is knocked out. The Dread Tree knocks over Solidforest of the Dodgers.

 

Dread: I Am Top Treeman! You Are Traitor! Elf Hugger! Pervert!

 

Cubbles: Zara tries to hit and elf on the line, and slips, falling on her face just before Alfie can try to pick up the ball.

 

Dark Overcoach: I AM NOT HAPPY!

 

Cubbles: Eves rush around the left, except for one highly nimble catcher who just runs through the middle.

 

Boffar: Zara uses her stake as a club and K.Os an elf catcher! HA HA HA! Andy Murdercrow then stuns the fancy pantsy elf that dodged through the middle. Esme Rageslayer runs up to kick him while he is down!

 

Ref: *Peeeeeep!* You’re off.

 

Dark Overcoach: BUT SHE DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH HIM YET!

 

Ref: I could see the intent in her eyes.

 

Dark Overcoach: BUT I”M FULLY PAID UP! TWICE!!

 

Ref: She can stay on then, but I’m watching her…

 

Boffar: Alfie then fails to pick up the ball.

 

Cubbles: A wardancer threatens the ball, but is only able to push Alfie. Zara keeps finding out why stakes aren’t normally used as clubs, Dread injures a merc and Death takes root.

 

Death: I. Hate. Wood. Elves. Too.

 

Dark Overcoach: THEN CHASE THEM DOWN AND KILL THEM INSTEAD OF SULKING!

 

Cubbles: The fallen catcher is quietly K.Oed by Esme while the ref is admiring a wardancer.

 

Boffar: Lara tries to pick the ball. It does not work, Boffar questions why this is so hard for them!

 

Cubbles: An Abomination catcher, strong and agile, dodges past the fling line like it wasn’t there, and shoves Alfie off the pitch! But Zara knock him to the ground, and Esme…

 

Ref: *Peeeeeep!* You’re off.

 

Dark Overcoach: THAT WAS A TAP!

 

Ref: All your credit is gone now.

 

Dark Overcoach: I WILL KILL THE REFEREE UNION! I WILL BURN IT TO THE GROUND AND SALT THE EARTH! I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU ALL SO THOROUGHLY AND COMPLETELY THAT PEOPLE WILL NOT REMEMBER THAT THIS GAME EVER HAD REFEREES!

 

Boffar: Lara Doompain tries to pick up the ball. Boffar believes that this is a mistake and a poor move. The ball is beyond them, Boffar says that they should give up and move on with their lives.

 

Cubbles: The ball is nudged off the pitch, where an enthusiastic wood elf fan is waiting.

 

Fan: Here guys! Go Dodgers! Up with nature!

 

Cubbles: The ball goes to the left. A wardancer tries to collect it, but the rains foils her! The Dark Flings rush into action! Zara fails to club an elf with her stakes, Esme is sent off for stunning the Abomination catcher, Dread takes root…

 

Dread: None of this happen if you give me ball.

 

Cubbles: And the Dark Overcoach is sobbing into his helmet.

 

Boffar: The prissy elves will still not pick up the ball because it is dirty! Zara tries to club a wardancer, but she is weak and puny…

 

Cubbles: With Esme off, Penny Killslayer tires to foul the fallen catcher, but fails to do more than stun. At least the ref is busy cleaning the ball for the Dodgers and doesn’t notice to send her off.

 

Boffar: The Dainty elfs pick up the ball. For the first time in the match, the ball is in the hands of a player! Zara then badly hurts a Wardancer! But the apothecary makes it all better, so Boffar says it does not count.

 

Cubbles: The other Dancer then badly hurts Lara, and covers the catcher who makes a break for the endzone. Zara catches the Dancer in order to fail to hurt her in any way, and the first half is over 1-0 to the Dizzy Dodgers!

 

*****

 

Cubbles: Welcome back to the second half! The Dark Flings are kicking and there are nine players standing on each team! Now wheres Boffar…?

 

Boffar: RARRRRRRRR! CRUNCH THE WEAK AND PUNY!

 

Cubbles: …And Boffar is leading pitch invasion which takes down half the Dodgers, as well as Zara and a couple of halfling! The Dodgers regroup in thei backfield and collect the ball. Solidforest marks Death. The Dark Flings advance slightly and Percy Gutripper stuns a fallen Abomination catcher. The Elves screen their way down the pitch, while Zara fails to accomplish anything of value and Percy Gutripper is sent off. The score is now 2-0 with the Dark Flings receiving.

 

Boffar: Boffar is back. The cowardly elfs are hiding in their own endzone, leaving mercenaries and the treeman on the Line. They should fight like men! Then, as the ball is kicked off, a rock hits Zara, stunning her!

 

Dark Overcoach: BE MORE COMPETENT! WHY DO I HIRE YOU?! JUST DIE!

 

Cubbles: Larry is barely able to pick up the ball, but he does manage it! The Linemen are pushed back, and Dread shoves over Solidforest. The Dark flings gather arround and… Jenny Deathreaper pulls out a hacksaw and goes to work! She Kills Solidforest!!

 

Dark Overcoach: HA HA! TIMBER!! DIE, BASTARD, DIE! TIMBERRRRRRRR! HAHAHAHAHAHHAH! JENNY, YOU ARE THE NEW FAVOURITE!

 

Cubbles: The elves hang back after this display of brutallity! Except for one journeyman, who makes a heroic attempt to attack larry. He trips, the Flings gather and…

 

Boffar: He is murdered! The Ref can do nothing, as he is still crying over the corpse of the tree! HA HA HA!

 

Cubbles: Death takes root, But Dread is sprinting forwards as fast as he can, with Larry, Zara and the rest of the team following behind him! The remaining journeyman is ordered into contact with Zara by the heartless wood elves, while the rest of the team flees! Zara of course fails to do anything to him, but Dread surges into range of the Endzone, and…

 

Dread: Give me ball! I save us from this mess! Give me ball! Give… wait, was not ready, try again!

 

Cubbles: The dread tree drops the ball as Larry tries to hand it to him!

 

Boffar: A puny catching elf tries to get the ball and pass it. He fumbles! The Dread Tree stuns him for this insult!

 

Cubbles: Horace Angryrage tries to pick up the ball just as the last whiste blows, but fails as the game end. Match is over 2-0 to the Dodgers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 26, 2017 by Dreamy